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Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified User Review

nait2k4

:(

  • Posted Nov 29, 2012 8:38 am GMT
  • Recommended by 3 of 4 users.
Difficulty:
Very Easy
Time Spent:
10 Hours or Less
The Bottom Line:
"Disastrous"
Rather than try and describe my experience playing this game, here is what I could have bought with the $89.99 (NZ) I wasted on it -

- 2 copies of Persona 4
- 14 miniature sized cheese graters from Living & Giving
- A vintage 5 1/4 inch floppy disk from eBay, containing the original Commodore 64 version of Operation Wolf
- 45 games of air hockey @ Timeout
- A small ballpean hammer, and enough over-the-counter cold medication to allow me to gently hammer my nuts until the left one turns purple, without feeling anything other than a slight itching
- A 15" Firestone tire
- Down payment on a WiiU

There are few purchasing decisions I could have made that would have been a worse use of my $90. I doubt it would have been possible to play test this game without realising how fundamentally broken and poor it is. The graphics are fair, but the control scheme is terrible. An adequate use of the rear touch pad is offset by awful movement, especially backwards. Enemy AI is not good. I mean, really not good. I did less damage with my weapons than the enemies did to themselves. It took me just over 55 minutes to finish the game. 55 minutes. This game cost me more than $1 a minute. I couldn't even play the multiplayer until downloading a patch, and the bloody thing kept locking up on me. What kind of crap is that?!

I think the dude from GameInformer put it best. F**k this game.

-Edited- 30.11.12

Finally got to play multiplayer. Actually enjoyable with a couple of people. 6 or more, and the maps feel very cramped and loses the hectic fun of the original series, becoming more of a grind - very easy to camp spawn points, and snipe with little danger.

Have adjusted score to 3.0 to reflect less broken-ness.
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