Difficulty:

Very Hard

Time Spent:

10 to 20 Hours

The Bottom Line:

"Guilty pleasure"

No, I know what you're thinking, but this isn't one of those Japanese dating sims with busty anime girls doing things with tentacles. I promise.

What's that? No no no, I swear, that girl on the cover isn't-- aargh let's just move on...

First of all, kudos for Atlus for launching a new IP instead of just making a new Persona. Wooo, Atlus. But is it any good? Well, that depends. Are you one of those typical kotaku's that play the original MGS trilogy at least once a year and drool on Suda51's poster, but you also know how confusing / seducing blondes can be? If your answer to any of the questions mentioned above is yes, than I'm pretty sure this'll be something for you.

Now, what the hell is Catherine about, if it isn't about that busty blonde on the box art pleasing herself along with an octopus? It's about you, Vincent, and his tormented love life: you've had less sexual contact in your life than a potato, as a result of your own girlfriend Katherine constantly cock-blocking you and constantly hinting you to propose to her, as if she were that psycho girl from f*cking Wedding Crashers.

And that's when you wake up next to Catherine! Out of nowhere, you're just lying in your bed after a night of partaaay-ing, and as you open your eyes, you see that hot blonde chick sleeping on your shoulder. And no, this is not where the QTE with the tentacles jump in, calm down you hentai freak. And that's where the main storyline of the fame unravels: you constantly make choices to end up with one of the girlfriends, but the actual purpose of the game is to make you see what kind of person you are, in fact. Not Vincent, YOU.

But how does the gameplay work out? Is it one of those dating sims where you fu-- okay I'm sorry that was the last one. Catherine is a puzzling game! The gameplay is based entirely about that story that if you fall down in a dream, and you don't wake up before you hit the ground, you die in real life.
So what you do is constantly move blocks around and avoid sheep 'till you reach the exit, while wearing cute undies. And after you finish the level a huge sheep asks you questions to see what kind of guy you are (adventurous? Boring?) and eventually determine what ending you'll get. Don't ask, it make more sense when you do it, trust me.

So that's the core gameplay mechanic of Catherine, although there's still some more stuff to do while you're not sleeping. You can hang out in the Stray Sheep, the local pub where you can play arcade games and talk to your friends. But I wouldn't really recommend that, because in my humble opinion your so-called friends have as much to say as a sack of dicks.

There are 7 endings in total, but to be honest, only two of them are really worth it in my opinion. Of course you have one ending where you choose Catherine, and one ending where you go for Katherine, but those other 5 endings kind of try to go in between those two and that just doesn't get you the same amount of satisfaction, because the game tries its best too hard to please you, unfortunately that doesn't really work, because when it comes down to it you didn't really make a choice at all. So if you want to enjoy the games' ending to the fullest, make sure you choose one of the two real choices.

Looking back to it, I really kind of loved Catherine. The game had this whole anime thing going on all along, and the in-game engine has some cell-shaded elements, and that also really fits the game actually. There's alot of symbolic stuff that you won't really understand, maybe Japanese people got a guide where everything in the game is explained (the sheep, they are everywhere!), but if you're a fan of new things, like me, then you shouldn't really worry about those absurd elements all too much. One more thing: don't try to look too macho and put it on the highest difficulty at once, because Catherine is one hard-ass nut to crack.

Final Verdict:

GRAPHICS: A polished anime look for the cutscenes and a cell-shaded theme in-game really gives the game the personality that Atlus was probably looking for.

GAMEPLAY: Hardcore puzzling, enough said. If you're one of those people that grew up with the NES and think games are too easy these days, this is the game you're looking for.

SOUND & MUSIC: The voice acting is corny as hell, just like we're used to from... Well, almost any Japanese production, from DmC to Street Fighter. The music is pretty much surrealistic, as is the entire atmosphere of the game.

STORY: Vincent's love story is interesting, whatever you do, and you'll definetly find yourself feeling some sympathy for him, especially if you've ever had a similar situation in your life.

FINAL VERDICT: Catherine may not be the woman of my life, it's definetly one helluva one-night-stand. I loved this game like I love my girlfriends: fast-paced and a bit strange at times. And with tentacles. Okay I'm sorry...