Look alive, rookies! You may think you've played Madden before. Heck, you may even think you played well. But if you want to stand a turkey's chance on Thanksgiving, you better listen and listen good, because Madden NFL 08 is loaded…with weapons.
Sit down, Tank Johnson, we're not talking AKs, we're talking weapons on two legs that break open games and score touchdowns, weapons with names like Manning, Bush, and Lewis. And you know what's inside of these gridiron war machines? More weapons.
Twenty-four of them, to be exact. Now pay attention, because we're only going to say this once: The weapons in Madden 08 are not players, they're traits. Since the game hasn't shipped at the time of writing, we don't know if these will blow you away or misfire completely. But just in case they're as dangerous as their in-game poster boys suggest, read on. You may just learn something that'll save your virtual neck, and you might even have a little fun. And if this feature tickles your fancy, make sure and check out our Madden NFL 08 Launch Center for more videos, interviews, previews and information than you can shake a hashmark at.
The following are Madden NFL 08's offensive weapons, plus the players that, according to EA Sports, exemplify each of them. On the next page, we'll have defensive and special teams weapons, so make sure and follow the link. Alright, break!
Smart QB
Peyton Manning
Team: Indianapolis ColtsCounter: Athletic trainers?
Arguably, the last time Peyton Manning misread a signal, he was a Tennessee Volunteer mooning a nonplussed and litigious female athletic trainer. Whoops! That personal foul cost him big, but since then Manning's become a pro at reading people, especially the ones lined up on the other side of the football. He's so good that he and other Smart QBs will be able to "read" the zones, blitzes, and coverage of any play called at least four times by the defense. With that kind of insight, it'll be awfully hard to catch a Smart QB with his pants down.
Cannon Arm QB
Brett Favre
Team: Green Bay PackersCounters: Many
Brett Favre is defined by his generosity. He's given time and money to aid Hurricane Katrina victims, he's donated at least one sack to Michael Strahan, and closest to the subject of Madden, he's unbelievably generous with the heat on his passes. The cannon may be old, but by golly, it still fires. If you're playing with Brett Favre, or another Cannon Arm QB, just slam the receiver button down and hold it there for a laser beam of a pass. Cannon Arm balls may not always land where they're meant to, but they travel far, and make great time.
Accurate QB
Drew Brees
Team: New Orleans SaintsCounter: Pass Rush
Drew Brees has had a topsy-turvy career. He began sharing snaps in San Diego with Doug Flutie, almost lost his job to Eli Manning, had a great season, really did lose his job to Phillip Rivers, nearly sued his own mother, then landed in New Orleans and took the formerly hapless Saints past the Philadelphia Eagles in the playoffs. Whew! Despite all this, Brees never fails to throw steady, accurate passes, providing Sunday certainty to the people of Louisiana. With Brees, or any other accurate passer, hitting your receivers perfectly in stride is as easy as leading with the left stick and tapping a button. Just make sure and watch out for the pass rush.
Pass Blocker
Walter Jones
Team: Seattle SeahawksChildren: Walterius and Waleria
From a quarterback's standpoint, Walter Jones is a hero. But to defensive linemen, the man is a scoundrel. His brutal pancake block (up on the right stick) and nasty cut block (down on the right stick) can tear through multiple defenders, clearing the way for a running back and opening lanes for a passer. Sure, the extraordinary blocker may have a tougher time than usual against Finesse Move D-Linemen, but he'll usually give much more punishment than his quarterback takes.
Crushing Run Blocker
Jonathan Ogden
Team: Baltimore RavensNickname: Big Boy
Jonathan Ogden could have been an Olympic shot-putter, but instead he chose to put big shots on defensive linemen and linebackers in the NFL. With cut and pancake blocks, Crushing Run Blockers can clear a path all the way to the end zone for their running backs. Their dominance is somewhat matched by Power Move D-Linemen, but anyone else is roadkill.
Elusive Back
Reggie Bush
Team: New Orleans SaintsNicknames: The President, Baby Matrix
"The President" may not fit Reggie Bush well, especially considering the royal ring of his real name, Reginald Alfred Bush II. But the other, "Baby Matrix", fits like a leather trench coat. Why? He moves like they do. And you can, too, as long as you have an Elusive Back behind the ball. With a casual flick of the right stick, you'll pull off moves as effortlessly as Baby Matrix makes them look. Interestingly, Reggie Bush is not the most elusive back in the game, in spite of his poster-boy status in Madden NFL 08. LaDainian Tomlinson is slipperier, with an evasion rating of 99 to Bush's 98. Must be the nicknames.
Stiff Arm Ball Carrier
Laurence Maroney
Team: New England PatriotsHobby: Video games
Little is known about Laurence Maroney aside from these few facts: He loves Scooby Snacks, his nickname is "Kool-Aid", and he runs like a beast. While the Scooby Snacks detail creates more questions than answers (Scooby Snacks are real?), Maroney's powerful running and retro nickname go together like sugar and water. After all, Maroney goes through defenses like the Kool-Aid Man through a brick wall. One of the primary ingredients in this explosive concoction is a big dose of the stiff arm, which Stiff Arm Ball Carriers will be able shoot into the faces or throats of oncoming defenders with a tap of the A button. Now that's kool.
Power Back
Larry Johnson
Team: Kansas City ChiefsNickname: LJ
Larry Johnson's relationship with former Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil has been turbulent, as evinced when Vermeil told Johnson to "Take the diapers off." Sounds like someone's projecting. Besides, if diapers had anything to do with Larry Johnson rushing for 1,789 yards on 416 carries last year, we'd like to know what brand and where to buy them. But they didn't. No, the credit goes to Larry Johnson's unbelievable knack for hitting defenders harder than they hit him, which you'll be able to harness with a flick of the right (a.k.a. Truck) stick. Watch out, though, because Big Hitters and Brick Wall Defenders can give even the best Power Backs a bad case of diaper rash.
Hands Receiver
Marvin Harrison
Team: Indianapolis ColtsCounter: The Spotlight
You'd think every receiver in the NFL was a Hands Receiver. After all, how else are they going to catch the ball? But they don't all have hands like Marvin Harrison. His daring digits catch all passes, not just the really good ones. Sure, it probably helps that one of the most accurate quarterbacks in the league is throwing him the ball. Then again, maybe Peyton Manning only seems so accurate because he's throwing to a Hands Receiver like Marvin Harrison.
Possession Receiver
Hines Ward
Team: Pittsburgh SteelersTattoo: Mickey Mouse
In the NFL, a "Possession Receiver" is a player with good hands who doesn't usually get far after a catch. It's kind of a backhanded compliment, because most receivers would like to think they're a threat to score anytime they have the ball. In Madden 08, though, the Possession Receiver weapon is a high compliment, meaning a player will make great catches in traffic and rarely cough up the ball on a hit. Hines Ward, Chad Johnson, Marvin Harrison, and Steve Smith are all considered Possession Receivers, just to put things in perspective. Be careful, though, even the best receivers will drop a pass if blasted by a Big Hitter.
Quick Receiver
Torry Holt
Team: Saint Louis RamsNickname: Big Game. Get it? He plays for the Rams!
Quick Receivers like Torry Holt are the guys you can count on to make room with their sharp routes, and get open. These guys make life easy for quarterbacks, and hell for corners. Well, most of them. A nasty Shutdown Corner will stick to even the quickest receiver like glue, so if you see one matched up with your star route-runner, try to move him around and create a mismatch. These guys are too valuable to waste.
Spectacular Catch Receiver
Chris Chambers
Team: Miami DolphinsExhibit A: Various Internet videos
Spectacular Catch Receivers are the high-flyers of the NFL, players who view coverage not as an obstacle, but as a chance to shine. In the clutch, when the defense knows you're going to pass the ball, throw it in a Spectacular Catch Receiver's general direction--he has the best chance to come down with the ball, and is probably better with one hand than most corners and safeties are with two. These athletes will benefit from the coolest, most over-the-top animations in Madden, but they'll also set themselves up for the biggest hits.
Is there a weapon you'd like to see? Leave a comment!
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