And let us not forget special teams. These weapons may have the least glamorous roles in the NFL, yet entire seasons rest on their shoulders, er, feet.
Big Hitter
Sean Taylor
Team: Washington RedskinsNickname: Meast
His teammates call him "Meast", a portmanteau of "Man" and "Beast" (as well as Metal Breast, Mean Yeast, and Meat Feast). He runs like a cheetah, hits like a rhino, and spits like a cobra (just ask Michael Pittman), and he is definitely the kind of player you want to stay away from both on and off the field. He's a Big Hitter. One shot from a guy like Sean Taylor could change a possession, a ballgame, or even a career. If you see one coming, run the other way, lest your player be meceased.
Brick Wall Defender
Ray Lewis
Team: Baltimore RavensEarly accomplishments: Erased father
Off the field, Lewis recently donated lots of wheelchairs, crutches, and prosthetics to the needy. On the field, he's just as thoughtful, donating lots of people to needy wheelchairs, crutches, and prosthetics…he's not just a great player, he's a great human being. And if you're a running back who wants to continue being human, you'll want to steer clear of defenders like Lewis. Their diving tackles are quick, cover lots of ground, and instantly stop all but the most elusive backs dead in their tracks. And unlike Lewis, most Brick Wall defenders won't pay for the wheelchair they put you in.
Finesse Move D-Lineman
Dwight Freeney
Team: Indianapolis ColtsIQ: 130!
Not only is Dwight Freeney one of the smartest players in the NFL (he scored a 35 on the Wonderlic), he's the highest-paid defensive player ever. Coincidence? Probably. As much as we like the thought of Freeney spouting Melville at opposing offensive linemen ("From hell's heart, I stab at thee! Vituperous scallywag!"), his fancy spin moves speak louder than words, and at 268 pounds, he hits harder than a library stack. With the push of a button, you can carry Freeney (or any other less cerebral Finesse Move D-Lineman) around opponents while adding your own sophisticated soundtrack to the ensuing quarterback sack.
Power Move D-Lineman
John Henderson
Team: Jacksonville JaguarsCelebrity He Most Resembles: Cthulhu
Dig just a little on the internets, and you won't find much on John Henderson. He hasn't been arrested, isn't a genius, and didn't name his daughter "Johnita." Dig a little deeper, though, particularly on Internet video sites, and you'll uncover the truth: John Henderson is insane. Before games, his trainer hits him in the mouth until he bleeds, then he shrieks down the tunnel like a madman. Just imagine lining up against him. You're used to the normal trash talk, but can anything prepare you for a 325-pound man bleeding from the mouth, gibbering about blood and chaos, and staring at you with mad eyes? Probably not, and it doesn't help that Power Move D-Linemen like Henderson have awesome moves that dominate all but the most stalwart run blockers. Be afraid.
Press Coverage Corner
Al Harris
Team: Green Bay PackersCounter: Quick Receiver
With a simple button tap, these corners can press receivers at the line, throwing off the fine timing of their routes. Almost no one is better at this than Al Harris, who allowed only one touchdown in coverage for all of 2006. So who got by him? Torry Holt, Madden's archetypal Quick Receiver, which happens to be the only weapon class capable of coping with a Press Coverage Corner's heat. If you see one of these guys on anyone but an awesome receiver, throw somewhere else.
Shutdown Corner
Champ Bailey
Team: Denver BroncosReal name: Roland
Shutdown corners like Champ Bailey have the best swat and intercept moves in the game. Their hands are so good and they're so fast, we aren't sure why they aren't receivers. Whatever the reason, these players are a quarterback's worst nightmare because they're able to completely dominate a side of the field, leaving the other side to the undivided attention of their teammates. That is, unless the quarterback can count on a Quick Receiver to get open.
Smart Defenders
Ty Law, Zach Thomas, and Darren Sharper
Positions: Linebacker, Corner, SafetyHobby: Reading
Like Smart QBs, these players can read various aspects of any offensive play called four times in a game. Smart linebackers, for example, can see what the backfield will do. Corners, on the other hand, can see which routes the receivers will run, and Safeties are the smartest of all--they can see the entire play. The best offense against such good defense is a varied playbook. Forget your bread and butter, because after you call it four times, it'll suddenly be their bread and butter.
Accurate Kicker
Adam Vinatieri
Team: Indianapolis ColtsNicknames: Automatic Adam, Iceman
Whether they're kicking a routine extra point or a game-winning field goal, these guys are spot-on. And no kicker is more accurate than Adam "Iceman" Vinatieri. He's a third cousin to Evel Knievel, so you know the guy has nerves of steel and a foot to match. This may not be the most glamorous position, but it may win the most games, and it has no counter.
Big Foot Kicker
Sebastian Janikowski
Team: Oakland RaidersNicknames: Polish Powderkeg, Sea Bass, Lightning Feet
It says a lot that Oakland's only featured weapon in Madden NFL 08 is a kicker--after all, Oakland kickers get lots of practice. Not that Sebastian Janikowski needs it; he kicked a 60-yard field goal…in high school. And Janikowski doesn't just kick balls, he kicks ass, having been in quite a few bar fights over the years. If football games are won with field position, Big Foot kickers like Janikowski can deliver for you.
Speed
Devin Hester
Team: Chicago BearsNicknames: The Windy City Flyer, Anytime
We had a tough time deciding where to place this weapon, given that it can apply to offense, defense, and even special teams. That's why Devin Hester is the perfect poster-player. Last year as a rookie, his blazing speed carried him to a record six returns for touchdowns, making him one of the most valuable special-teams players in the league. But this year, his offensive play in camp has already led John Mullin, a Bears beat-writer, to dub the camp "The Devin Hester Experience." Speed is good at every position, and so is Devin Hester. With just one push of a button, your speedy players will hit the afterburners and leave their opponents in the dust.
So there you have it, an arsenal fit for a gridiron army, all at your fingertips in Madden NFL 08. If you want to know which players have which weapons, check out this list over at Sportsgamer.com. However, if you'd like to learn more about some of the players, particularly their views on their Madden ratings, check out this video. It's a good time. Speaking of which, we hope you enjoyed reading this feature, and we'll see you on the field. Now hit the showers!
Is there a weapon you'd like to see? Leave a comment!
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