Difficulty:

Very Hard

Time Spent:

40 to 100 Hours

The Bottom Line:

"Instant classic"

There once was a girl which went by the name of Bandage Girl and a boy called Meat Boy. They loved each other. But in this story there also was Dr. Fetus (the guy no one loves), a hateful to-be baby who hates everyone -- most of all, Meat Boy. Being the vindicative little bastard that he was, Dr. Fetus kidnapped Bandage Girl -- forcing Meat Boy to go through the most epic of trials to save her!

With a humorous story narrated by facial expressions and character interactions, Super Meat Boy is the last creation of Team Meat. A game that offers hours of finger-biting, controller-flinging, TV-screaming, gears-grinding intense action of the toughest and fastest platforming ever seen by man and animal!

But let's get to the stupid details, since that's what you are looking for. SMB offers over 300 devilishly-crafted levels for you to maneuver with up to 16 playable characters -- unlocked via completion of Warp Zones and accumulation of Bandages -- ranging from Tim (Braid) to The Kid* (I Wanna Be the Guy) and even The Ninja (N+), each with their own skill, such as going back in time, double-jumping and even teleporting.

Each world, of which you have 6, include twenty standard levels, and twenty "hardcore" versions -- the dark world -- which are unlocked by beating their normal counterpart with an A+ (beating the level in a given time). Other than the standard six, you have an "extra" chapter, and the periodically unlocked "Teh Internets" chapters, which Team Meat releases every few months -- each as action-packed as the original levels, and usually fixed on one character (one chapter is only for Meat Boy, the other for Gish, etc.).

What makes Super Meat Boy shine, however, are the controls, which allow you to maneuver through the original levels with extreme precision -- frustrating you in your attempt to blame the game because of your sh*** skills. They're as tight as Meat Boy's buttcrack -- and he doesn't even have one! Even if it means dying constantly, you'll never want to remove your finger from the RT button: seeing Meat Boy dashing across the level is just that fun.

The constant desire to upgrade your times and achieve a higher status on the leaderboards will have you coming back to this masterpiece every few days, trying different characters for different levels. If you're a fan of the genre, and even if you aren't, this game is a must. You need to get it. If you don't, I'll hunt you down and beat you with a piece of steak.


*I f***ing hate you, The Kid.