Hey there!

The last few days for me have been something of surreal - with everything ranging from dealing with mindboggling stupidity/dishonesty from a disreputable landscaping and construction contractor (which translates to major money lost and looming litigation on my part) to an absolutely fantastic experience yesterday on Xbox Live.

More on the contractor mayhem and heartbreak later on in another entry, I think.

Anyway, yesterday (7-7-08 ) was "Bungie Day". The creators of the Halo series of games (Bungie) do something special for the fans every July 7th, and this year they gave us a free map for Halo 3 via Xbox Live. The map is a killer redux of a cool multiplayer map for the original Halo game (Halo: Combat Evolved) called "Chill Out". The new map is called "Cold Storage", and it is an absolute blast!

In prolonged stolen moments during the day yesterday (in between tense phone calls, appointments with engineers and an attorney, and general zoning out), and long into the night, I took part in a special Bungie Day matchmaking playlist on Halo 3 online called "Icy Treats" which was a slough of games on the new map with fellow Halo fanatics.

Big fun!

Bungie did good by us fans this year!

In closing, I present to you an example of a 9-1-1 emergecy phone call which reflects the absolute stupidity of the human species...

Dispatcher: 9-1-1... What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

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Hello!

As my country celebrates Independence Day this July 4, I would like to remind everybody that this nation was born of a vicious, proud, and strong desire to be free.

Happy Fourth of July!

Hello!

The trilogy of crapiola game reviews that I have written is done. The final piece in this set is a review of the 1982 poopfest that is E.T: The Extra Terrestrial for the Atari 2600.

What more can be said about that game? It's bad. The story behind the game's creation is essential history for all of us gamers -

In 1982, Howard Scott Warshaw was given SIX WEEKS to create the game from the ground up. The slimy execs at Atari had to have the game ready to ship in time for the 1982 X-Mas shopping season, so Mr. Warshaw had to pull some double duty (heh heh doody) to finish it. After presenting his "work", he was paid handsomely (reportedly 200 grand), and sent off on an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii, no doubt to start downing some tropical drinks on the beach in an effort to try to forget.

So there you go.

Now I can get back to the business of handing out tens!

Until next time...

~ Justin

Sad news...

The mighty George Carlin died yesterday at 5:55pm Pacific Daylight Time at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, California.

He was complaining of chest pains prior to his trip to the hospital, and later fell victim to heart failure.

George Carlin was one of the best and funniest comedians to have ever lived.

The news of his passing hit me like a hammer, I am very surprised and saddened. I was very lucky to have seen him do one of his patented live comedy performances in Decatur, IL a couple of years ago, and that was the best live stand-up comedy performance that I have ever seen. He was not only an absolute riot, he was extremely intelligent, and his oftentimes controversial comedic venom gave so much respect to the intelligence of the audience.

The world has suffered a great loss this day.

George Carlin

1937 - 2008

Hello!

In my continuing campaign against the perception of banal mediocrity on my part, I have cranked out yet another review of an awful game. This time around, I take a look at the epic failure that is Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing!

For those of you that are not familiar with the game, this is a title for the PC that is so horrendous that it has spawned an entire subculture of pseudo-fanboys that (one would hope) sing the undying praises of this game in the face of obvious and well justified negative criticism despite all odds. The game is a total piece of crap, yet, much like the Big Rig fanboys in a way, I would actually recommend having this game around just to have it, for a glimpse of unfathomed horror, or even to practice your shuriken throwing skills with the disc.

Don't get me wrong, I am not some kind of new world gaming messiah who is all "I play bad games so that you don't have to", that honor goes to the mighty Seanbaby. I am an everyday gamer, just like you, except that I am probably far more easily entertained. So to offset my penchant for handing out "BEST GAME EVARRR!!!11!" praise left and right, I bring you....

FIRE!!! dee-da-dah-dah

That's a quality reference to The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown right there. You won't get that just any place.

Not exactly the equal of sporting a pink mohawk and writing for a gaming magazine, but hey.

In honor of the Summer Solstice (and to bring my dip into the vile cesspool of reviewing awful games to a proper close... this time heh heh), my bottom-of-the-barrel game reviews shall be a trilogy, with the final game lurking just around the corner. So hang on to your emoticons, fellow blawgonauts, the final chapter approaches...

Until next time...

~ Justin

Hello!

Well, I have finally written my first review of a truly bad game. Yep, that's right. Which means...

I have also given a game something other than a ten!

Oh yeah, I went there. Gave it a one!

My first bleh review is for the horrendously bad game that I "pseudo-reviewed" in my last blog - The Adventures Of Mighty Max for the Sega Genesis. Tell ya what, that game is seriously awful no matter what I, or anybody else, says or writes about it. Think of it perhaps as a cautionary tale...

I will crank out some more reviews of other games as further proof of my ability to give less than a "10" to each and every game that I own, but I warn you...

I have some very very VERY bad games, and I will not sugar-coat the craptastic fury that these stinkers invoke.

Also, the games in my collection (and otherwise) that I have given a "10" to will always retain their score - Just because I have chosen, at long last, to break my silence about turdariffic games, it does not mean that my view of games has changed.

Check out my review if you have a minute.

Until next time...

~ Justin