I'm not serious about the title by the way, by all accounts I'm simply struggling to decide what to do with my life, but I certainly don't consider it a midlife crisis.

I apologise for not blogging more regularly, but the truth is with the site being as hectic as it is, school, and writing a book and balancing a social life etc, I tend to even forget that I have an account on here. I've read pretty much all the blogs that I've signed up to, so I'm still up to date with you guys, I just am not commenting as much as I was before.

Also, RobotGeek is getting a blog system much like this which I have to extensively test out, so a lot of my blogs are being written there at the moment.

But anyway.

I actually turned 19 during the week, which prompted a revelation I didn't really wish to acknowledge before.

I hate Birthdays, well, mine in particular. I realise this probably makes me sound like something of a old miser, when quite evidently I'm not, but I've always found birthdays a little weird, even since I was a kid. Sure, I enjoy getting free stuff, who doesn't? Yet it's the forced and incredibly false "niceness" of my peers that always puts me a little on edge.

People that I'll never talk to for 364 days of the year suddenly take an interest in my life and celebrate the fact that I came out of my mum's belly 19 years ago, despite the fact I've had no discernable impact on them whatsoever.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company of my friends on my birthday, and I don't mind getting birthday wishes from them, but I find myself growing weary of other people around me quite quickly, simply because I have to be nice in return as well.

A typical conversation goes like this.

"Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you"

"What did you get?"

"Some guitar stuff, money"

"Oh you play the guitar?"

At this point, I realise that these people know nothing about me, and I try to end the conversation quite quickly.

"Yeah, I've got to go"

"OHH, where you going? Celebrating anywhere nice?" - This tends to be a subtle hint that they'd like an invite to a party if I'm hosting one

"No, it's a quiet affair this year."

"Oh, how comes?"

And the inane drivel goes on...

At the end of the day, I tend to be in a terrible mood because I've had to endure conversations with people that I genuinely can't stand, and what's worse, They're being NICE to me, so I have to be nice back!