...I'm still in Lost Odyssey... it's been two weeks now... at least I think so... I forget.

To all current and future pricks who continue to select "Player Match" in Rock Band:

- Do not disconnect just because you're doing poorly and especially if the song is a minute away from ending. You don't like death drains, and neither do your bandmates. Be warned: Rock Band III will have a 'SLAY' button.

- Do not play on a difficulty you can't handle. Just because you have two more chances to fail while in a band, it doesn't mean your bandmates want you to take that for granted. The last thing I want to do is save your sorry ass when you fail once, twice... and then game over. Unless you're in a band that is playing on Expert difficulty and is anal about earning golden stars, there's no crime in playing at a level you're comfortable with. (Now, if you're failing on Easy, then why are you playing online in the first place? Do you really want to be kicked? Are you a bottom?)

- Do not hold the left or right trigger button down while singing unless the other bandmates are (obviously not) okay with hearing you blurt your American Idol-reject voice in Dolby Surround Sound. Even if you sing like Barbara Streisand (well, then please don't), know that there's usually lag online, so whatever you scream at one beat will actually be heard by your bandmates some beats later. Not your fault, of course, but why put your bandmates off-rhythm unintentionally? You've got the mic. Be nice. Ask first.

- Do not be a guitar hog. Be fair. Alternate between guitar and bass with the other guitarist. We all know that the bass is simply the poor man's guitar in Rock Band. No x6 multiplier will ever compensate for a lack of solos and chords and fame and hot fans and exclusive suites and wet... I'm getting ahead of myself. But that's even more reason not to stick the bass onto somebody else unless that person is clearly a bassist or wants to give the other (probably more skilled) guitarist, well, guitar.

- Do not intentionally lower your life meter before the song begins. There's nothing wrong with widdling your life away after the song is done, since there's no repercussion for it and well, who cares? But don't be so brash as to lower your life meter - and thereby everybody else's - at the start of the song, even if you're the best guitarist in the world. Pulling off a stunt like that and then failing on your ass is flat-out embarassing - and I've seen that happen more than a few times. Besides, there are better ways to show your guitar prowess, like nailing the solo in Working Man or Blackened or being pissed off that you only got 98%. Yeah, I know, 98% reeks!

- Finally, do not assemble an online band, only to wait for a player and then proceed to describe the size of that player's dick, analyze the level of that player's homo-tude, and prove your ability to wail, cluck, and spit into an electronic device - and then kick that player out with your oversized idiocy. Not even monkeys do that. You know who you pissants are.

The plaintiff Phoenix Wright has charged Apollo Justice of a serious crime. But for what exactly? And how does it all end? What is the verdict?

This GR review for Apollo Justice reveals the transcript of this case which has been kept secret until now.

When In Hay Fever Mode

Pata pon pata
Chaka chaka pata pon.
Don, don don, don don.

Translation: It even has an ingredient to moisturize.

Draqq's Journal, March 10th, 5:09 am, Berkeley, Current Residence.

Still awake. Can't sleep. Chaka-chaka-pata-pon. Recall today's trip.

EBGames. No, Gamestop. (Edit: 'Gamestop' and 'Gamespot' much too similar. Suggest deathmatch.)

Want Brawl. No reservation. Re-evaluate own intelligence.

Day after nationwide tournament. Two hundred entries over ugly wrestling trophy. One-on-one elimination tourney. Employees stayed up until 2 am. They're not happy today.

Open door. Display for Brawl full of empty boxes with $49.99 stickers. Waste of paper, ink, and dreams.

Walk up to busy counter. Talk to Sarah. She's tired. Talk about Fab 5 Soccer. Imagines Carson Kressley as goalie. Sarah laughes herself onto the floor. Have apparently killed her. Other customers watching. Feel uncomfortable.

Ask for copy of Brawl. Last unreserved copy in the closet. Special note to self: "All luck now expended. Future looks bleak."

Trade in four games. Resident Evil: Wii Edition - have PS2 version. No More Heroes - love Suda51, hate his mini-games. Super Paper Mario - no patience for pure hearts. Dragon Quest Swords - too long of a subtitle for crappy game. Take out special coupons. Take out Edge Card. Comes to $88. Buy Brawl on the spot. Will use extra $38 towards PS3 later in year. Wait for Little Big Planet or until PS3 library gets good. Must anticipate hate mail.

Wander about store. Realize ten minutes through that nothing else is wanted. Must re-think priorities and repressed desires.

Hear two customers asking for Brawl. Grins while leaving store, though did not reserve Condemned 2 or Crisis Core. Don't care. Too happy to care. Wonders if soul is inherently evil.

Still wondering.

For all the power that Metacritic has taken away from the individual reviewer, the substantial trade-off is that every reviewing site has been condensed into one powerful number. Even EA has been against the wall trying to defend its drop in Metacritic score from 77 to 72 over the past year. In fact, it's gotten so important that PR will send snarky emails and phone calls to sites that give low scores: "You're obviously wrong! You're at the bottom of Metacritic! You're gonna be off our list!" All of a sudden, the scores of a smaller website have more of an effect, especially on GameRankings which doesn't have a weighted average.

But what will Metacritic and GameRankings do once Ziff Davis outlets convert its numerical grades into letters? The reason Metacritic has refused to change their broken system (of turning such things like B+'s into 83's) is for the sake of consistency. As long as the system remains the same, the context of the scores remains on the same scale. GameRankings also isn't free of guilt, either; they convert F's into 5's and D-'s (which is just one step higher than an F) into 45's.

I am anxious to see how Metacritic will react if and when publishers attack the merits of their letter grade-faulty system. Will Metacritic change or will they learn their ABCs?