Kevin VanOrd over in the US recently started a series of blog posts called 'Fun With Kevin's Inbox.' Just to show him that people in the UK are just as strange as those in the US, I'm going to be bringing you the best of all the oddness that we receive this side of the Pond.

We're off to a flying start today with this news. Guy said he was so excited he was thinking of live blogging it.

YOU ARE INVITED TO A WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT! (This is flashing in different colours).

World's Fastest Laminator

When: Monday, June 2nd, 11:00-12:00 hrs

On behalf of GBC, Duomedia has the pleasure to invite you to join in the thrilling countdown as GBC makes an unprecedented Guiness World Record Attempt at officially establishing the WORLD's FASTEST LAMINATOR! At this unique event GBC will unveil the 8500HS Cyclone, a single-sided commercial laminator designed for ultra high-speed professional finishing of book covers, dust jackets, packaging and more. An official representative of the Guiness Book of World Records will be present on the stand to establish the time it takes the GBC 8500HS Cyclone to laminate 100 square meters. A champagne reception will follow the record breaking activity.

Come and join us in the thrilling countdown as GBC unveils their 8500HS Cyclone to make an unprecedent attempt at establishing it officially as the WORLD'S FASTEST LAMINATOR! Register now!

Locally to me, apparently.

Random signs from around the world that have made me laugh.

I wouldn't eat there...

I'm not about to argue...

Truer words have never been spoken...

North Americans likely won't understand why I find the next two hilarious...

I like free things. Preferably money, food, or alcohol. Publishers also like stuff for free--they like to give it out to promote their games, because if you have a zillion people wearing a T-shirt with their game logo on it, that's like a zillion walking advertisements. That's great, but some of the stuff they give out is just head-scratchingly weird. Here's a list (with photos, OF COURSE) of some of the strangest stuff from various desks in the GameSpot UK and US offices.

THE MANDATORILY XXXL T-SHIRT

Look at the gaming press. They're not a particularly fat lot. My colleagues and people I know from other gaming mags and sites aren't proportionally more clinically obese than the general population, and some of us are in fact (gasps from the crowd) women. So why is it that we always get sent XXXL big man-size T-shirts? I could fit myself and a couple of friends in there. This one's actually a bad example, because it is kind of cool--a Burger Shot employee T-shirt from Rockstar Games to promote Grand Theft Auto IV that was given to Laura on a recent trip down to their offices. It says on it 'Medium.' I dread to think how big the large is and struggle to think of anyone it would actually fit--a Sumo Wrestler, perhaps? It is also VERY yellow.

THE EVERQUEST LUNCHBOX

Seriously, do they think that video game journalists are just doing this job when they are on breaks from school? Tom got very protective of this when I went to take it off his desk for a photo, though. Everquest II is one of his favourite games.

THE 'CUNNING' PIRATE DISGUISE

I love pirates, me, and I love anything pirate themed. But this pirate hook and eye patch sent out in goody bags in the US to promote Pirates of the Burning Sea just seems a bit, well, rubbish. They should have sent everyone parrots that swear instead. And rum.

A DIARY IN RUSSIAN

Death or Glory? It's a tough choice. We got this diary in to promote the PC strategy game XIII Century: Death or Glory. Laura uses it because she'd wanted a diary, but hadn't realised that all the writing including names of the days of the week are in Russian, which makes for some interesting date mix-ups for meetings.

A GLASS BEAKER

Back in June last year, Kuju Sheffield decided to rebrand itself Chemistry. To celebrate their name change they sent me (and other gaming journos, presumably) a small glass beaker. It was one of those things where you get a nice big parcel in the post and unwrap it eagerly just to find out it contains something really small and crap.

NO MORE HEROES TOILET PAPER

We spent ages trying to figure this one out, before we got the connection--when No More Heroes main character Travis Touchdown saves his game, he goes to the can to have a sit down and read a magazine. And yes, each sheet has an image and some writing in Japanese lovingly printed on it.

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

Ooh, this looks nice. What a cool box, perhaps it will be some chocolates, or some biscuits? Perhaps some coloured pens, or a nice fountain pen?

It's not. It's a bunch of feathers. Creepy as all ****.

Do you think it was actually a game promo or someone putting a voodoo hex on me?

THE GAMEC*CK C*CK SOCK

While I was in the US, Justin had a clear out of his desk in preparation of moving into his new office. Trying not to look like too much of a vulture, I had a bit of a rummage. "Oh great, socks!" I said. "You can never have enough socks." Then after a bit more of a rummage. "Where's the other one?" Justin said, "Er, I'm not sure it's for your feet..." Ew!

THE FINGER

And finally, we come to what HAS to be THE worst promo item I have ever seen. A severed (plastic, I hope, I've never opened it) finger covered in black goo (meant to be blood) to promote horror title Jericho. It's just horrible, horrible!

Got any other weird stuff you've got sent, at events, or as a pre-order bonus? Show me!

Just cleaning up my hard drive and found some old photos that I wanted to share.

Actually not the red rings of death, but just as useless. After spending two weeks in San Francisco working from our US office, I was looking forward to some quality time with my console and some of the games that had come out recently but I hadn't had time to play.

Alas, last night at around 3am (jetlag is a ******) my console decided it wasn't to be, and started freezing everytime I turned it on. Sometimes it would even get as far as loading the game, and enticingly let me play for a couple of seconds before throwing a wobbly. Mainly it would just freeze on the opening logo.

Tried turning it off for a while, unplugging the hard drive, unplugging live, and all those useless things you do to try to prove that there's actually nothing wrong before giving up and calling their support line.

Me: My 360 broke. It keeps freezing.

Helpline guy: What's the serial number, your name, and your address?

I tell him.

Helpline guy: Ok, so you need to get a plain box and package up the 360, no cables or hard drive or anything.

Me: I still have the original box. Can I put it in that?

Helpline guy: No.

Me: Why not? I don't have a plain box.

Helpline guy: Then you'd better buy one. They won't take it in the original box.

Me: Why not?

Helpline guy: Because they won't.

Me: Hmmm.... Ok, so can they pick it up today?

Helpline guy: It'll be two or three working days.

Me: Oh, in that case, can you put down my work address if they come tomorrow or Friday and my home address if they come Saturday?

Helpline guy: No.

Me: Uh, why not? Most people are at work Monday to Friday and at home at weekends, are they not? I don't think that's a particularly strange request.

Helpline guy: There's only room on the system for one address. If they come earlier, just phone them and tell them to come on a Saturday.

Me: And presuming I ever manage to get hold of 'them', when can I expect my console back?

Helpline guy: Two to three weeks.

Me: (heavy sarcasm) That's great, thanks.

Helpline guy: (conspiratorially) Mine died last Friday too, so I'm in the same boat.

Absolutely brilliant.

[EDIT--I've had my 360 just over 2 months.]