• 9Jun 08

  The Top 5 Stereotypes of Platforming

  5. Spikes - even if they don't have any right to be there, spikes will usually turn up in games. Examples: Batman (Genesis), James Bond, Jr. (SNES)

  4. Lava - Another hazard, similar to spikes, that crops up in even more outlandish places. Doesn't occur as much as spikes, but are even funnier when it does. Examples: Mario Bros. 3 (NES, in the middle of castles?!?!)

  3. Scrolling Sequences - The areas where a generic threat (or possibly just cruel programmers) forces you to outrun the left or right side of the screen which is always moving toward you. Theses can be the worst things you encounter, the very death of your character. Examples: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (Genesis, the final level has the path constantly shortening), Jurassic Park: The Chaos Continues (Game Boy, the T-Rex pushes you through an unusually built paddock).

  2. Leaps-of-Faith - Innumerable titles require you to jump blindly off screen, like Indiana Jones during the Three Trials. Examples: James Bond, Jr. (SNES), The Pagemaster (SNES, Genesis)

  1. Out-of-Place Moving Platforms - These pop up in several games, usually in areas that wouldn't ever have such things. Examples: The Mask (SNES), Robocop 3 (SNES, Genesis)

  • Posted Jun 9, 2008 11:34 am GMT
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• 9Jun 08

  A Worm Named Jim

  Gather round kids, let me tell you all a story

  'Bout a worm who's journey wasn't perfunctory:

  His name was Jim,

  he was quite slim,

  but his suit was much stronger.

  I heard through the grapevine

  that he was a fan of the bovine,

  but his whole tale is much longer.

  It all started when his suit from the sky came falling

  He put it on and his crow nemesis found all this appalling.

  So Jim took a joy ride around the Milky Way,

  making sure not to speed too fast,

  any enemy received from his gun a mean blast,

  'Cause, other than Jeopardy, Jim didn't like to play.

  But one day he saw a stunning girl,

  to which he said to himself "Princess? What's yer name?"

  She smiled and laughed and said, "Hey! Mine's the same!"

  But Psy-Crow appeared and took her, Jim wanting to save "his pearl"

  Through locales like Junk City and Heck he gave chase

  Even more thugs trying to slow him

  Even a hick who was not quite trim.

  Jim finally cornered the crow, somewhere in space.

  After an epic battle involving cows,

  Jim took his sweetie to the nearest chapel drive-thru

  Jim took ordered the ceremony and said "I do."

  His journey was seemingly over, with everyone taking their bow.

  But misfortune would come another day

  With Psy-Crow plotting to take her back,

  stealing her like a cheap knick-knack.

  But that is all we can read for today...

  • Posted Jun 9, 2008 11:14 am GMT
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• 2Jul 07

  Evil Dead 3: The Final Ash-Kicking (Renamed the below post)

  Ash found himself lying on the ground, face down. He pulled himself to his feet and brushed off his tattered S-Mart uniform. "Where in the Hell am I?" As he said that a demon-like creature approached. "I gotta watch how I say these things." He bent over and picked up his "boomstick." The creature's eyes lit up and it rushed towards him. He cockedthe gunand fired at the beast. It yelped and fell back. He tapped it with his boot, then looked around. In the distance he saw a familiar castle. "Not these screw-heads again!" But, he should've seen some activity outside. And he slayed all the Deadites. What was going on?....
  • Posted Jul 2, 2007 11:04 am GMT
  • Category: Movies
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