• 2Apr 08

  Enough Already!

  I am submitting my nominations for 'Phrases that should be forever retired.' You know, things people say in conversation when they thinkthey're being clever, but that are completely overused and need never be uttered by anyone again:

  1. 'What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas'

  Need I say more? Please, everyone stop saying that. It was humorous when Bugsy Siegel first used it back in 1945. Now it's just asinine. It isn't funny, it isn't original, and even though I personally hit Vegas once a year I never tell anyone when I am going because thie is invariably the first thing out of their mouths when I do. I may run for president and if i am elected, anyone who uses this phrase will be executed - more than once if possible.

  2. 'That's how I roll.'

  Right, this one is part of that gangsta lexicon that has long since been appropriated by White Suburbia so that it has now lost it's originally threatening connotation entirely. I have a hard time seeing Bob in Accounting 'rolling' up on anyone in his 1996 Camry with the bald tires and leaky head gasket. That'll do everybody. It's time so say farewell to this one. even most rappers have stopped using it because oddly enough, they think it makes them sound white.

  3. 'You rock!'

  I am not sure where this one came from, but I know that none of the people I have ever heard use this one actually 'rocked', nor did the person(s) they were referring to. If you have to specify that someone 'rocks', they probably don't. Sort of like Fox News. If you have to constantly remind me how 'fair and balanced' you think you are, then you are probably neither. This is why they invented the term 'poser', which by the way everyone can feel free to stop using as well. Unless they're referring to Fred Durst or Vanilla Ice. Then it's ok. Also, the rock and roll 'devil' hand sign that people often use when uttering this one can go too. It hasn't been cool since 1987. Even Ozzy quit doing it.

  Honorable Mention:

  • 'In this league' - Players and coaches in the NFL have taken in the past few years to referring to the NFL as 'this league', presumably to differentiate it from the other leagues for which they may evidently been playing. An example of this unnecessary phrase: 'In this league you have to be able to run the ball.' Okay, professional sports is already famous for giving us utterly obvious truisms like this but to then add 'in this league' to it goes light years beyond stupid into the realm of the plain demeaning. Oh, you mean THIS league, not THAT league. Thanks, I was confused. I didn't know what league you were referring to for a moment. You know, mister 'I failed sociology', I am fairly certain had you just said 'You have to be able to run the ball' I'd have been able to follow you, and would have correctly surmised you were talking about football, and that you did in fact mean THIS football league, and not some other football league.

  
  

  • 'Obviously' - Everyone uses the word 'obviously' a lot lately. Please stop. If it's so obvious you don't need to point out that it is. Otherwise you just sound like you're trying a little too hard to be erudite. You know, like when people use the word 'erudite' in casual conversation....ahem...

  
  

  • 'Tragically' - People don't die any more. They 'tragically' die. Oh...okay. I wasn't aware there was any other way TO die. Really...you don't need to pour on the melodrama. You can just say 'Anna Nicole Smith died.' You don't have to point out that in this case the death was 'tragic'. I saw the pictures, I get it. What's that? A busload of autistic orphans and their adopted pet kittens crashed into a nunnery and they all 'tragically' died? Thanks for the extra adjective; it really added to the story AND helped prevent me from thinking that they all died some other non-tragic variety of sudden death of which I was not aware. Unless you're talking about Hitler or somthing I think it's a given that the person 'tragically' died, rather than 'awesomely' died. Although Hans Gruber's death at the end of Die Hard was pretty awesome.

  
  

  There are more...many more...I work in a typical corporate office and could regale you with pages of things I am sick of hearing but since most of YOU probably wouldn't get it I won't make you suffer with me. After all, I only wrote this because I needed a break from TPS reports for a few minutes. Oh well...back to the grind.

  Wait...why does the printer say paper jam? There is no paper jam...

  • Posted Apr 2, 2008 9:51 pm GMT
  • Category: Rant
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• 1Apr 08

  Who Decided This Was Cool?

  You know, the cliche of the futuristic cyborg-person with just the one glowing cybernetic eye? Why would you have just ONE cybernetic eye? Wouldn't that ruin your depth perception? If you have the technology for all that cool body armor and a laser attached to your face, why would you choose to just have ONE cybernetic eye?

  Why not get them both replaced so you can see straight? Have you ever seen anyone walking around in sunglasses with just one lens? It doesn't even look cool, it just looks like when you woke up this morning to take over the universe you were in a hurry and forgot to finish putting in all your implants.

  Dear Evil Diary:

  Ah, what a lovely day. The Terran army is annihilated, the Zygote Consortium is neutralized and the Council of Twelve has been bent to my will. All that remains is to enslave the...what's this? Intruders!

  Fools! Do they not know I am the Destroyer of Worlds? Intimidator of the Meek and that I cheat at cards?

  Well I have to call up the Battle Guard and destroy these interlopers immediately so there's certainly no time to put in my other cyber-eye. I'll just have to walk around with one today. That'll make it hard to see straight but nobody will dare make fun of me because before the end of the day I will be King of the Universe. I'll just have to remember to put the other one in before the photographer gets here. Wouldn't want anyone to think I'm trying to do some sort of pretentious Michael Jackson iconoclast thing with the one robot eye.

  Oh crap, I only attached the one Robo-Crusher hand, too. And it's on backward. I am SUCH a dork. What DID I do with the other one? Perhaps I left it in Princess Lana's chambers after I forced her to marry me and then disintegrated her homeworld anyway. HA! Android chicks are stupid!

  I hope Commander Balthor doesn't read this...I think he already knows I plan to dispose of him once my plan for Universal dominion is complete...oh...hello Balthor. Just telling my Evil Diary how indespensible ruthless servants like you usually are...heh heh...

  • Posted Apr 1, 2008 12:02 am GMT
  • Category: Rant
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• 27Mar 08

  I Knew This Day Would Come (Part 2)

  The Mighty Fujimoto X2 is now running at a healthy clip of 2.91GHz on air. Outstanding. I have enough voltage to probably squeeze a tad more but we're running at 1.45 now. Sure, I know it'll take more but on air you have to be super careful with these things unless you're trying to burn a hole in your motherboard - and since these babies top out just north of 3.0 you tell me if it's worth it to snag a water rig or peltier cooler for another 100MHz?

  NOT. I am enjoying CPU idle temps of 31-33c and load temps of about 47-49c with ambient room temperature of 75F. Not bad. Not bad at all.

  On a related note for all you 8800GT owners out there, if you are tired of listening to the rocketship that is the stock fan on your card snag a Thermaltake DuOrb. They WORK. Yea, I know there's at least one competing cooler out there that achieves *slightly* better temps (Zalman VF1000) but it's thick as a brick and doesn't look nearly as cool.

  I am seeing idle temps on the GPU 20c cooler right out of the box. In fact load temps max out at 47c in a room with ambient temperature of about 75F. IDLE temps on the stock HSF were 57c, with highs of about 75 under load. I realize Nvidia says the insanely high stock temps are fine and I guess they should know - but pardon me if I am not comfortable with my GPU hitting cake baking temps every time the sun shines into the room.

  Once the thermal paste sets you can expect that to drop another 3-5 decrees Celsius.

  Thermaltake DuOrb. Live it. Learn it. Know it. You can find them between $30-50, which I keep hearing reviewers say is high for a GPU cooler. Well I say if you're going to spend a gripload of cash on a high end gaming rig - and overclock the snot out of it no less - don't start whining when accesories get a little pricey. What you can spend $300 on a video card but not $40 to keep it from catching fire in your case? You can spend hundreds on a CPU but cry about a $120 power supply to give it a clean, steady source of juice?

  Then go buy an Xbox and enjoy your colorful toy. If you want to play you have to pay. If you're trying to build a serious gaming rig don't skimp on gear, period.

  I am a happy camper, indeed.

  • Posted Mar 27, 2008 3:10 pm GMT
  • Category: Computers
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