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  • 22Jun 12

    So, we all knew it would happen. Nintendo announces the 3DS LL. Basically, it's the 3DS with the XL's coat of paint.

    http://www.gamespot.com/forums/topic/29207472/3ds-ll-announced-aug-19-200

    Thread.

    Nevermind the fact that America gets screwed out of the color selection AGAIN (WTF... just give us the fu cking colors Japan gets Jesus Christ what's the fu cking deal). Nevermind that DS games will look WORSE (and possibly 3DS games as well). Nevermind THE LACK OF A SECOND ANALOG PAD. Nevermind the Kid Icarus Stand and Circle Pad Pro attachment awkwardness.

    IT DOESN'T COME WITH A FU CKING AC ADAPTER!

    ...

    WHAT?!

    You mean... I GOT TO BUY AN AC ADAPTER?!?!?!?!

    I... i just... YOU DON'T SELL INTEGRAL ACCESSORIES THAT PROVIDE FUNCTIONALITY SEPARATELY! I mean... they say it's to keep the cost down, but what fu cking sense does it make to sell the adapater separately? It will drive your costs UP because you gotta manufacture packaging and you got to ship them out. My... GOD. You know what, I never bought an XL. I did alright. I sure as HELL am not buying an LL. Man, I hate being a Nintendo fan right now, because .. .you just get fuc ked over by them time and time again, and you just take it. You develop Stockholm syndrome and then you just go, "THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!"

    You know what... fu ck you, Nintendo. I ought to throw the 3DS that I have right now in the trash. Ugh...

    EDIT: So as more reports have been released, the NA model will come with the AC adapter, but the EU and JP versions won't. So, that's still really stupid, even though it can use the older model's AC adapter. You just don't sell a piece of electronics without the adapter... You just don't.

  • 19Jun 12

    Says it all right here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxKRBUzElTU

    Honestly, Kinect is great at casual games. Let's leave it at that, shall we?

    Further proof:

    http://www.gamespot.com/steel-battalion-heavy-armor/reviews/steel-battalion-heavy-armor-review-6383411/

    Video review pending.

    Also, doesn't anyone find it odd that you still need a ridiculously overpriced controller to play a Steel Batallion game, which is really sad considering it works MUCH WORSE than an actual controller? Physical plastic in your hands >>>>>> waving your hands around like an idiot.

    • Posted Jun 20, 2012 1:07 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 19Jun 12

    http://www.gamespot.com/lollipop-chainsaw/videos/video-review-lollipop-chainsaw-6383225/?tag=Topslot;LollipopChainsawReview;LollipopChainsaw;WatchIt

    Lollipop Chainsaw's review. 6.5.

    If you have a few minutes, peruse the comments. Look at how many people call this game complete crap. One of them even compared the game to Duke Nukem Forever... It's... a 6.5. Not a 3. SIX POINT FIVE, which is more than two times higher than a three....

    I watch video reviews just to gleen information about the games and maybe read and participate in a debate about said game. I usually try not to concern myself with the score, but I've noticed something... For a game where a 6.5 is pretty much alligned with the Metacritic score, people will assume that it equates to utter rubbish. For a game where a 6.5 is given in, say, Gravity Rush's case where the masses feel it deserves much higher, there is a unanimous feeling of being slighted by the reviewer. I won't go into detail about Gravity Rush, as I haven't played it yet.

    I think some people just love to spout to hear themselves talk ( or read what they've typed). They need to undestand that a 6.5 IS NOT A BAD SCORE. It's not even an AVERAGE SCORE. Average is 5, bad is anything lower. LOTS of games that are 6.5s are still fun, and needless to say, if you're a Suda51 fan, you're going to enjoy this. Honestly, people need to start reading the reviews (or watching them) a lot more and quit focusing on just the numerical score. These people who think 6.5 means a terrible game probably didn't see where Kevin said the game's fun numerous times.

    Or better yet, GS can disable comments on reviews entirely. I think that would be the way to go, because there's too much idiocy out there.

    • Posted Jun 19, 2012 2:46 pm GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 15Jun 12

    I ever tell you that? I FUC KING HATE IT! Why?! Because that sh it's ready day one, and they keep it seperate as a "bonus." Does that sound fair to you? Remember when you used to unlock sh it like that by.... uh... I dunno... PLAYING THE GAME?! Yeah, that's right! Those extra weapons, new character skins, the one little side quest that's over in 15 minutes that gives you a shi tty weapon that's already replaced by something much stronger in the next town over, that stupid little beanie for your XBL avatar, that hipster shirt for your Home character, etcetera etcetera. IT'S ALL BULLSH IT!

    And I hate it EVEN MORE NOW! Why? Cuz I turned into a mother fuc king hypocrite!

    61566l25L1L._AA300_.jpg

    Just pre-ordered this on Amazon.com when I found out... DUH DUH-DUH-DUH! You can play as STAN LEE! That's right, only available at Amazon.com and Best Buy is a DLC called Stan Lee Adventure Pack! Stan Lee birthed Marvel. I have two items at home signed by the man himself! I LOVE Stan Lee... How could I POSSIBLY pass up this opportunity?

    So, apparently I learned something today... every gamer has his/her price...

    EXCELSIOR, MOTHER FUC KERS!

    • Posted Jun 16, 2012 3:06 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 12Jun 12

    Went to Best Buy today and picked this up.

    51Zue0t3v7L._SL500_AA300_.jpg

    Didn't really mind the first film. Didn't think it was as bad as everyone said it was. Anyway, I also wanted to pick up Lollipop Chainsaw on the PS3, but they sold out. Huh.. that usually never happens to me there. So, I went to GameStop and found it.

    51yJWiF8WcL._AA300_.jpg

    Of course, the clerk was quick to remind me of my lamentation of missing out on pre-order bonuses that I don't care about for not pre-ordering. *shrugs*

    Lastly, my main reason to go into GameStop today was to pick up this.

    51yDmdDjOTL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

    Been wanting this for a while now. I even made a Japanese PSN account to download the demo, which was very very short and didn't really show much of anything. Still awaiting GS's review, but I read GB's review today and I'm a bit concerned about the lack of utilized potential of the game, but I'm sure I'll still have fun with it.

    • Posted Jun 13, 2012 3:14 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 10Jun 12

    415E4pLa%2BbL._AA300_.jpg

    I wanted to play this back when it launched earlier this year, but it was one of those things where I didn't have the time or money. So, I asked for it as a gift and got last month. Just now got around to starting it a few days ago. I'm still very early in, only on the second episode, so it's too early to say if I like it better than XIII. Wandering around more has kinda made me appreciate the lightning (no pun intended) quick pace XIII had, so it took me a bit to really get into.

    I just now got the ability to collect monster crystals and use them in battle. I thought it would have been a more novel idea, but as it turns out, it's just a substitute for a third character, since it looks like it's just Noel and Serah for the whole game. (could be wrong) Still, I love collecting monsters, and they still have their merits in gameplay. They have special attacks to unleash with QTE combos.

    Speaking of QTEs, there's this new thing called Cinematic Action. During intense cutscenes, and even in boss battles, QTEs will pop up, and sometimes they might even have you attack or use magic. They help to block attacks, deliver extra damage or even stagger (Google stagger FFXIII if you're unfamiliar with this term) bosses who are just too thick in the skin to hurt otherwise. It all kinda boils down to "we don't want you falling asleep during our cutscenes so here are QTEs to keep your attention!", but that can be said about QTEs in general.

    Of course, the game's gorgeous, just like XIII was, but there's a part of me that says it doesn't look as sharp up close. Probably just my bad memory, but anyway, SE really can make CG cinematics. Music is kinda hit or miss, though. Also not carrying too much about NPC voice acting. I wonder why the voice acting of NPCs are usually never up to part with the main cast. The story so far is pretty interesting, at least to me. Noel is a time traveler from the future, and apparently is the last of humanity, so I want to see how that plays out.

    The Crystarium has also been simplified into nothing more but press X to level. I kinda hate when RPGs do that. Some appreciate the "streamlining", but others like me like a little more diversity. It's not really a big deal, though. It's also cool how you can level up your monsters through the Crystarium as well, and since they use materials, if you have enough gil, you outright buy their levels.

    Anyway, I'm going to get back to the game now. I'm hoping I enjoy it as much as I did XIII.

    • Posted Jun 11, 2012 1:34 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 8Jun 12

    51CJVcSFK1L._SL500_AA300_.jpg

    Took a lot of mulling over. Took a lot of thinking, debating, arguing, basically having two split personalities of reason battling it out in my head, but basically, I decided to compromise. What I did was ask for this as a gift, which I got last month, because I would never pay for it myself. I knew I had to pay the 7 bucks to get the Silver Pass content, and the Gold Pass content was free, so really, I was only paying 7 dollars for what essentially is half of a game. I even bought a remixed song for two dollars, which I don't feel happy about, and I refuse to pay three dollars for the Hornet. I don't care that it's the same Daytona USA car. It just feels like it should have been a car you raced, beat and earned. Anyway....

    This is Ridge Racer. ONLY the purest, most hardcore Ridge Racer fans should get this game, all ... 6000, I think the number is. The gameplay is classic, but the content, even after you download the Gold and Silver pass cars and tracks is shy. Speaking of downloading content, it takes a good couple of hours, at least for me anyway, to download all the content and install it, which mostly are just a bunch of songs.

    I know the concept of the game is geared towards competiting online, but it still is inexcusible that there's no single player campaign. There are Spot Races, which are just generic single races with seven other CPU cars, but there's no sense of progression at all. No special events, aside from a couple of Duel Races to unlock the Angelus and Crinale cars. There are no extra cars to be unlocked after that. No other special, unique, whimsical and futuristic cars to unlock, no track variations, no medals to attain, no 100 percent completion to strive towards.

    So what am I left with? Ghost challenges. This is the real "campaign". I belong to one of four teams, who basically just battle each other's ghost challenges. I couldn't really care less about these. The only reason I continue to play the game is because I'm trying to reach level 16, I think, and earn all the upgrades. And there's still the Crinale to beat, and I have to somehow unlock the Angelus. Once I have those, I don't care about setting records or battling ghosts. It's weird to be saying this, because I was a world record holder in Ridge Racer 6, and I thought I'd at least want to try to set some amazing times in this game. I thought maybe I could get some mileage out of it that way, but to be honest, I'm just so disappointed with no single player campaign that I no longer feel compelled to play it any longer than I have to. This game makes Unbounded look that much more attractive.

    • Posted Jun 9, 2012 5:21 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 6Jun 12

    So because of scheduling conflicts, Nintendo had to make a whole seperate show for 3DS games, which aired earlier tonight. I'm watching the replay stream.

    It begins with Reggie Fils-Aime taking the floor. He stutters over his introduction. He gives the floor to Scott Moffitt. Moffitt is talking about someone whose been making a buzz this week. Moffitt pulls out an action figure. I have no idea what it is. Uh.. .OK. He talks about all the Miis he's been picking up during E3. He's running off some random numbers. Come on... get going! It's more than five minutes in and nothing's been shown!

    Finally! He's getting ready to show Castlevania: Lord of Shadows - Mirror of Fate. I think this is a spin off of the last console Castlevania. It looks like it's a mix of 3D and 2D action. Very short video. Ended with a monster comically throwing off his chained captors. Producer Dave Cox comes out to talk about the game. There's some gameplay footage playing while he's talking, and the game looks amazing. This combat cross whip thing is beautiful. It has secondary weapons, of course. The boomerang is weird, though. It attacks like a sticky weapon, not a normal boomerang. NICE! Whip swinging returns! Oh man, this is looking better and better! Four playable characters, including Alucard. Sounds like the story will be pretty cool.

    Scott returns. He plays a video for Luigi'e Mansion: Dark Moon. Man, I cannot WAIT for this game! It looks just as good as the GameCube game, and I'm sure it will be a lot more fun since it has multiple mansions. Didn't really show anything new. Comes out this holiday season. But, I'm disappointed that no one played a demo.

    He introduces Warren Spector and Peter Ong for Disney. Epic Mickey Power of Illusion is announced for the 3DS. It's its own standalone game. Just a lot of talking with nothing really being shown. Finally, the game's about to be shown. Looks like it's all 2D. Doesn't look very good at all. What a waste of the 3DS's power.

    Scott once again. He starts to talk about Paper Mario Sticker star. Nate Bihldorff comes out to play a demonstration for us. Wow! Someone finally playing a demo on the 3DS! It looks like the stickers will be used as sort of a special attack inventory. You can also get more stickers from battling. I love the style of the game. The gameplay looks great. Seems like the leveling system is going to be integral to helping people, fulfilling quests and solving puzzles. Looks like the game will promote exploration in order to find all those necessary stickers. He used something in battle called the Battle Spinner that pulled up a slot machine that gave him an extra attack slot so he used two stickers in one turn. I really want to get this. I need to play my other Paper Marios! It'll come out this holiday season.

    Scott comes back. He plays a new video for Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. For some reason, I've never been into this series. It's a beautiful looking game, though. It'll feature circle pad support, Street Pass and AR cards. July 31st will be the release date. And a demo will come out soon on the e-shop.

    He talks now about Scribblenaughts Unlimited. The video played didn't show off very much new that wasn't shown from yesterday's conferences. He rolls out a montage video. Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes. Transformers Prime: The Game, Rabbids Rumble. Heros of Ruin, an SE game. And... wow, that's it? New Pokemon Black and White Version 2s are coming out for the DS, but apparently there's some things that 3DS users can get out of them.

    Now he talks about some stats regarding the 3DS and its Internet connectivity features. He announces a new Nintendo Video series called Threediots, which I think premiers today. A trailer plays, and it looks cheesy as all hell, in a good way. I might have to check that out later. Yep, I'll watch it when I'm done here. There are some new Pokemon apps, Dream Radar and Pokedex 3D Pro. Don't play Pokemon, don't freaking care. He talks about some demos that are coming up, including a demo for Lego Batman 2, which is available right now. I'll have to check that out tomorrow. He says that more games will be available to purchase via digital download.

    Now he talks about New Super Mario Bros 2, which apparently has a goal of reaching one million coins. A couple of guys come out, and one looks like he's ready to play a demo. There's a new Golden Flower power up that turns everything into coins. There's also a mode called Coin Rush. When you beat a level, you can replay it in Coin Rush. Sounds like it'll basically be trying to get the most coins as possible. Sounds perfect for competitors. Oh, wow, one life only for these. What's this? You can play the single player game with a second player? Sounds like a lot of fun. Launches August 19th. Got to get it!

    Now he quickly talks about all the different games that are coming out later this year, and that is the end of that.

    Rating: C-

    Lots of games where shown that I cared about. From Luigi's Mansion to Paper Mario to New Super Mario Bros 2. Yes, that's a lot of Mario, but honestly, this is Nintendo we're talking about. It always feels good to play a new Mario. I was disappointed to see certain games not demo on stage, such as the new Castlevania. The show was padded too much with talking, and I felt it was poorly managed for its strict time constraints. Also, I'm severely disappointed that no news was given for Animal Crossing. I'm getting tired of waiting for that game.

    • Posted Jun 7, 2012 5:49 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 5Jun 12

    Here it is. Saving the best for last.

    A video of Miyamoto reading while Pikmin are playing around on his room. Yes! There's going to be a new Pikmin for the Wii U! I haven't played Pikmin since the first one on the GameCube. Already, Miyamoto gets a thunderous applaud. Hahah, digital Pikmin are popping up all over the place. Cute. He calls out his translator and he waddles like a little Pikmin. Already, the feel and energy of this conference is the most light-hearted of the five conferences.

    They're talking about the philosphy of the creation of Wii U, and why the tablet controller is so important, how the screen in the controller allows you to play the Wii U without the TV, and that is a very novel idea. The black controller looks uber sexy. I hope I can get a black Wii U on day one.

    Pikmin 3 is now introduced. It doesn't look any better graphically than the GameCube game. There's a new Pikmin type, the Rock Pikmin, that are used to break objects. Flicking them on the tablet controller allows you to aim where to throw them. It looks like a lot of fun. This reminds me that I need to finish my first Pikmin and play the second one. I do believe I want to get this game for the Wii U.

    Reggie Fils-Aime steps out on stage to an applause. Here comes his speech about how it's "all about the games". He says 23 games Wii U games will be displayed on stage. He talks about how the controller will change your entertainment in the living room. He announces Netflix, Hulu, Youtube and Amazon Video for Wii U. He runs off some social media network links to follow the newsflow. He announces that the Wii U will support two gamepads. ... Why not four?

    A tour video begins to play to describe how the pad works. Looks like it'll have all the functions of a core gaming controller. It's starting to look sexier by the minute. He's talking about MiiVerse, which looks like the new system interface. It looks a bit messy. Miis gather by different icons to reflect what's popular right now. You can do real time chat and drawing with these Miis. Soon, MiiVerse will be integrated with 3DS, PC and even smartphones... This is getting boring.

    Finally, he shows off New Super Mario Bros. U. This gameplay footage video looks like a lot of fun. New power ups and Yoshi returns. Looks like it'll have lots of other mutliplayer features as well.

    Now he brings out someone from WBI to talk about Batman: Arkham City. The Wii U version will be called Armored Edition. Of course, there are new features that will be incorporated into the Wii U tablet controller. There's a mode called B.A.T. Batman's new armored suit absorbs kinectic energy, and you can unlease it by tapping on the controller. Another thing it can do is control the Batarang. Nice. You can also use the gamepad to strategically detonate explosive gel. It looks pretty cool. I may.... want to play this game again on the Wii U.

    Jeremiah Slaczka comes out to talk about a new Scribblenauts game for the Wii U. It's called ScribbleNauts unlimited. It looks more like a traditional side scroller now. And you can use the gamepad to assemble creations on it. It also has some multiplayer as well. Looks fun. I suppose I should play the first game more.

    A montage video begins to play, showing off Darksiders II, Mass Effect 3, Tank! Tank!, Tank!, Tekken Tag Tournament 2, Trine 2: Director's Cut, Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge, Aliens Colonial Marines. ME3 was a big surprise. Didn't expect to see that on the Wii U.

    Reggie talks about WiiFit now. Says over 43 million copies have been sold. He announces a Wii Fit U device. A video starts to play, demonstrating how the Wii Fit platform and tablet controller work in tandem for new activities.

    Now a video plays about a new singing game called Sing. The gamepad displays the lyrics so it's bascially a karaoke game. Meh.

    Reggie introduces Scott Moffit for 3DS. He says that there will be a new show tomorrow specifically for the 3DS. Damn, I was hoping to see some 3DS stuff during this show. He'll show off three games, though, and the first is New Super Mario Bros. 2. Oh boy... this is going to get confusing. It looks like a lot of fun, and it seems focused on a lot of gold coins, and will release August 19th. Wow, that's not too far off! He's now announcing a new Paper Mario. Oh man, I'm so behind on this serious. It will be released this holiday season. He now gets ready to show off Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon. I can't wait for this game. It looks so cool! Before he walks off, he plays a montage of third-party games. A new Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate. Disney Epic Mickey: Power of Illusion. Scribblenauts Unlimited. Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance.

    Reggie comes out again. He talks about Lego City for Wii U. A video plays, showing someone playing with Legos, and then it shows the gameplay of the game. It looks like a lot of fun. Seems to be an open-world crime fighting bame. You can use the tablet controller as a detection tool. I need to get this game. it looks so funny, too! Yeah, I'm sold. Buying this game!

    Lego City Undercover is also coming to the 3DS. He talks about Ubisoft now. He brings out Yves Guillemot. This guy is not a public speaker... BORING! Yves introduces Xavier Poix to talk about Just Dance 4. *facepalms* SKIP!

    Xavier shows a new IP called ZombiU. The video shows the many ways of which you'll be using the gamepad in the game. Scanner, sonar, inventory management. Looks pretty cool. Would be nice to have a real stage demo, though. HAHAHA, Xavier just had Reggie take a picture with the controller and zombiefied himself in the game. Ubisoft montage video shows off ACIII, Rabbids Land, YourShape, Rayman Legends, Sports Connection, Marvel Avengers Battle for Earth.

    Reggie again to talk about something called Nintendo Land. Reggie brings out Tatsuya Eguchi to talk more about NintendoLand, which apparently be to Wii U what Wii Sports was to the Wii. It appears to be a theme park with all sorts of Nintendo icons. Doesn't seem to be all that interesting. They show off some gameplay for the Luigi's Mansion attraction, and the multiplayer seems kinda fun. The person using the gamepad controlls the ghost, which cannot be seen by the other players who are playing on the TV screen. Those players' controllers rumble when the ghost is near, so they have to communicate to each other in order to find the ghost and shine their flashlights on them to damage them. NintendoLand has been announced as a launch title.

    Rating: C-

    I was expecting a lot A LOT more from Nintendo, and they didn't really deliever that much. Nintendo Land just seems too... mini-gamish. Lego City really looks amazing, though. That is a sure fire buy. Pikmin 3 looks fun, but I'm very behind on the series, and probably won't be getting it for a while. and damn, Reggie, shut the fu ck up about the controller already. You blabbed and blabbled and blabbled saying you were going to show 23 games, but I can barely remember 10... Then there's the seperate show for the 3DS games.. .WTF? Anyway, I think we made fools out of our selves thinking that Nintendo was going to steal the show this year. Come on, how many times has Nintendo tricked us by now?

    • Posted Jun 6, 2012 4:27 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 5Jun 12

    Show begins with a montage of titles, most of which are already out. Bunch of '13 sports titles. Logo of "Connecting People." Pretty dull stuff. John Riccitiello, CEO takes the stage. He states that the show will have 10 games to show off. It starts off with Visceral Studios, and the video being played is of course for Dead Space 3.

    Some guy comes out to talk about the game. He says there's single player and co-op. Sounds like both campaigns will be seperate? I don't know, I just don't like the thought of playing survival horror in co-op. Ruins the tension if you ask me. So, there's some giant drill that's come to live, and they're trying not to get killed by it. Some baddies come out, so they're killing them. One shot the drill with stasis to shoot something on the inside of it. They finally destroyed it. There's a short reprieve and the players are back to roaming around. It's an open area now, and the game is starting to resemble Gears of War more than Dead Space. They're fighting a big giant monster, and one of them gets stucked in. Now he wakes up inside the mosnter and is struggling through its digestive tract. Eww.....

    New video unfolds. This is obviously for Madden 13. Meh. S-SKS-SKS-SKS-SKIP!

    Someone from Maxis takes stage. A new game called Sim City Social is coming to Facebook. *yawns* An all new Sim City is being announced for the PC. *yawns again* Looks cool if you really love Sim City. And, it has multiplayer. Wonder how that works... Another video is being rolled out for the new Sim City. I think I'll skip.

    Jack again. Introducing Peter Moore and Patrick Bach to talk about Battlefield 3. Wait, isn't this already out? Why spend time on it? Oh... he's running off playing stats. Big woops. SKIP.

    Next up, Star Wars: The Old Republic. Can't play, don't give a rat's ass. SKIP.

    Greg Goodrich takes the stage. He talks about Medal of Honor: Warfighter. I think I'll give the demo a look. It starts off with a team on a watercraft, they jump out, wade through the water and rush the beach. The graphics look pretty good. One of them got hit by a sniper round. He's back up, and moving under a dock. The action looks pretty cool. Showed a few different ways you could breach a door, and when they breached it, time slowed down and the player was picking off a room full of enemies. Looks like an airstrike was delivered on the building nearby, and a bunch of smoke and debris blew their way. Now they're controlling a robot. Hahah, that looks fun! It ends with the bot eventually getting disabled. Greg comes back to talk more about the multiplayer. Meh. Trailer rolls out. Shows off the different kind of multiplayer units. The music for the trailer is freaking annoying. Anyway, looks like a solid FPS.

    Andrew Wilson takes the floor now for EA Sports to talk about social network apps. SKIP.

    Something about soccer. SKIP.

    Something about UFC. SKIP.

    A new video plays. This looks like it's for a new Need for Speed game, developed by Criterion. This must be the new Most Wanted. Oh, I cannot wait! I loved Hot Pursuit! Open world? Hmm... The developer's talking about how competition will be driven by Auto Log again. It's all about becoming the "Most Wanted" among your friends list. Someone comes out to demo the game. It looks just as amazing and fun as Hot Pursuit did. I want this. October 30th is the release date, so it looks like I know what to get this fall!

    Some guy comes for Crytek to talk about the new Crisis game. Someone one else picks up the controller and gets started playing a demo. Graphics look amazing of course, Still waiting for something about the gameplay to impress me. He's destroyed some kind of power core, and now has to escape. He just got blasted by a missile. So he pulls out this bow and arrow on steroids. He then planted explosives and blew up a dam while zip lining away from a helicopter.

    Jack comes out again and closes the show by saying "10 spectacular games giving 10 spectacular experiences". Well, not all 10..

    Rating: D. I skipped so much. To be honest, EA just doesn't really do much for me anymore as they're full of war FPSes (don't play them), sports games, and really sinking their teeth into social network gaming. Not really big on Sim City, either, and the only game shown I really got excited for was Most Wanted.

    • Posted Jun 6, 2012 2:51 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 4Jun 12

    Third one tonight. I'm exhausted. Sucks that I always have to work on the days of these conferences.

    Show starts off with some dancers. This is obviously a Kinect dance game. MY GOD! *barfs* Really, Ubisoft? Is this how you want to start your show off? With casual crap? Some rapper comes out. I wish I knew who he was. I want to say Flo-Rida? Anyway, it's for Just Dance 4. And yeah, it was Flo-Rida. CASUAL CRAP!

    Aisha Tyler is the host. By the way, Flo-Rida's blinged out microphone is ridiculous! And not in a good way. Well, at least she's got more energy than any of the hosts I've seen in the MS or Sony conferences. She introduces Tobuscus (?). Lame jokes. I'm thinking I'm starting to tune her out. Anyway, she introduces Dan Hay of Crytek to show off some Far Cry 3.

    Wow, it starts out with a love making scene. Frontal nudity. Shocking. This enchantress is talking about how you're a warrior, full of spirtual energy. Kinda weird. So now, he jumps off a cliff and into the water, swimming to a dock, yanking an enemy into the water and stabbing him. The game looks gorgeous, lush plant life everywhere. He's picked up a bow and arrow and is picking off enemies. There's just something so attractive about a bow and arrow. He's walked into a trap and is trying to find a way out. Oh that was nice. He pulled a pin from a dude's grenade, kicked him off a ledge and his body blew up a truck. He walks into another trap, gets stabbed, and blacks out, entering some kind of dream state. Looks like a fun game, but I never really got into the series.

    Aisha again to introduce Splinter Cell Blacklist. Max Beland, creative director, talks a bit about the game. A trailer begins to play. Trailer's all CG of course, but it looks amazing. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like Michael Ironside's doing the voice anymore?

    Aisha introduces Avengers: Battle for Earth. Hmm, trailer shows Wolverine and Venom going at it. Now there's Spiderman and Magneto. Storm, and then Avengers. All CG, no gameplay.

    Ok, these wood jokes need to stop.

    Aisha comes out to talk some Wii U. She brings out Michael Micholic to talk about Rayman Legends. It shows a character, Murphy, which is some winged thing being flicked all over by the gamepad's touch screen. The game looks just as beautiful as Origins did. The multiplayer elements look like a lot of fun. I believe I'll be getting this game on the Wii U. Wow, what energy from the audience!

    OH SHUT THE F UCK UP AISHA! I HATE YOU! Anyway, she's rolling out a new game for the Wii U. This trailer reminds me of Dead Island, which turned out to be so-so. I WOULD like to start seeing some gameplay from these games, which has always been Ubisoft's problem. The game's called ZombiU. Can't judge this game yet.

    Now a reel of upcoming Wii U games. Rabbids Land. Your Shape: Fitness Evolved. Sports Connection. Just Dance 4. Meh.

    Finally! Assassin's Creed III! The American Revolution is going to make this game so much more interesting. It'll be closer to home for all of us. And anyway, the CG trailer is amazing. This new assassin is kicking ass! Aisha introduces Francois Pelland to talk more about the game. The new assassin is named Connor, and then says you'll be meeting some important historical figures.

    Now someone will play a demo of a game. It starts out in snow covered New England. Connor is running through the trees, either in pursuit of someone or fleeing. He's deftly jumping from tree limb to tree limb. He's killed a deer, looking to slaughter it and is attacked by a pack of wolves. He fights them off one at a time. Now he approaches a camp. The meet he gathered was for a quest. Looks like our assassin is back to using horses. Ooh, he used some kind of rope dagger to hang an enemy from a limb. Combat looks about the same as previous games. It's fluid and brutal still. Now he's chasing down an enemy before he can alert reenforcements. Wow... I was so entranced into the game I forgot to write about what else I've been watching. We're looking at a possible game of the year here.

    Aisha once again. Tobuscus comes out with her. They're talking about e-sports. Ugh... tired of her sex jokes. Ok, they lost me with this e-sport crap. SKIP.

    Aisha now rolls out another reel of games. Trials Evolution. The Settlers Online. Ghost Recon Online. Meh.

    Yves Guillemot comes out now. He's talking about a new IP, in development for more than two years. This game apparently is about a giant blackout. The blackout seems to have been caused by a computer virus. Looks like the game's called Turn Out the Lights. Now, some kind of scanner is scanning the audience. Jonathan Morin, talking about the game. Says you can use the entire city as your weapon. Now a demonstration. So, this looks to be an open-world game. It looks very realistic. He's jammed communications with his cellphone to try to get past security. He's trying to track down a target named Joseph Demarco. This sounds like a fascinating game. He's tapped into someone else's phone call to learn Demarco's coming. Now there's some combat as he beat a guard senseless with a baton. He's outside again and it's raining. He just causes the traffic lights to turn all green to cause an accident where Demarco was coming to and then a gun fight ensues. He killed his target and now choppers are on him. Ohhhh, so this is what Watch Dogs is! I want it!

    And so the show comes to a close.

    Rating: B-

    Watch Dogs... wow, that makes up for almost all the sh itty jokes Aisha and Tobuscus filled the show with. Assassin's Creed III, amazing. Can't wait to play it. There needed to be some gameplay shown of Splinter Cell, and Far Cry 3 looked cool, but not really my thing. Horrible Just Dance 4 opening and too many trailers not showing any gameplay held this conference back from getting a higher grade. Still... wow, if you haven't checked out Watch Dogs yet, do so. The game will be amazing.

    • Posted Jun 5, 2012 6:49 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 4Jun 12

    Ok... let's get this shyte over with.

    A live action video unfolds, with a sci-fi theme. Halo 4? A space ship is getting scanned by some mysterious source. Things go dreadfully wrong. Giant ship crashes to a planet. "Chief! There!" Yep, Halo 4. Another ship enters the planet, and gives chase to the previous ship. Now we have a demo fo the game playing out. The atmosphere of this game is fu cking gorgeous. He's truding through a jungle right now. Enemy encounter, one of the enemies rushes Chief and inexplicably disintegrates. I dislike the AI's voice that accompanies chief, though. Ooh, there's a new kind of enemy, "definitely not Covenant." He's picked up a weapon of Forerunner technology. Ooooh... This gun transforms or something. Looks really cool! Chief's visor has a thermo option now. Demo's over, and a trailer video follows. Looks good.

    Don Matrick comes out. He spins some numbers talking about how the 360 is the number one selling console worldwide. Talks about some mission, blah blah. Sounds like a rehash of the year before and the year before of that. Talks about how Xbox Live will reach out to phones and tablets. He leaves, and a new video unfolds.

    I'm trying to figure out what this is. It takes place in what looks like Afghanistan or something? I have a feeling it's a new Splinter Cell. And yep, I'm right. Splinter Cell: Blacklist. Gah! It's in broad day light! Fisher is sneaking around tents, uses X-ray vision to see enemy locations, and begins to get to work on killing enemies. I love the Execute feature. This game looks like it'll build on Convition. Oh, and now he can wall climb! Now there's Kinect voice recognition to, where the player speaks to distract any enemy. He shot a taser round into a pool of water to take out two enemies at once. He used some kind of sonar thing to pinpoint enemies. This game looks sick! Definitely getting it. Comes out Spring 2013. Can't wait!

    Andrew Wilson, EA Sports. Don't care. In the interest of time, I'm skipping this.

    A new video starts to roll. Ugh... It's another Kinect game. Cast fireballs and other magic with the palm of your hand! Oh, it's the Fable Journey on-rails shooter. Phil Spencer, MS Studios. Ugh, his shyte about how "only the best games are available on Xbox" is revolting. He's getting ready to introduce a new action driving game. First, he unveils a trailer to the new Gears of War. OMG THERE'S A NEW GEARS OF WAR?! *feined surprise* Of course I'll get it, but can't Epic make anything else?

    Now there's a video of a new Forza game. It looks like this Forza might have a more arcade-like approach? Yeah, there's traffic, street races, open country. I might actually be interested in a Forza game! 10/23/12. Hmm. I'll have to watch it.

    Yusuf Mehdi comes out, part of the marketing department. He talks about entertainment for the XBL and how Bing will be used to search for movies on XBL with Kinect voice recognition. In the interest of time, I'll be skipping this, cuz I don't use XBL services.

    A video is being played for what looks like a new fitness game. Some guy from Nike comes out. My cue to skip.

    Mark Whitten head of XBL comes out. He's talking about how our smart phones and tablets enhance out experiences. Intergration with XBL is what he's pitching. Xbox SmartGlass. I. DON'T. CARE. *skips*

    A couple of people come out to show off the new Tomb Raider. Wow... it turned into a cover based third person shooter. Lara has a bow and arrow. She's still jumping around as usual, but the entire combat dynamic has changed. And the game looks MAR-VEL-OUS. Oh my god, this game just shot straight up on my radar. Oh wow, this game's going to be rated M for sure. It's pretty damned violent in comparison to other Tomb Raiders. Wow, the set piece in this demo's amazing, having Lara fall down a waterfall, through a plane fuselage, shatter through the windshield and parachute her way through a forest where she crash lands. Lara is dirty, battered and bloody. I've never seen this girl hurt this bad... This will probably be the biggest Tomb Raider yet.

    Some guy I already forgot who he is is back out and talking again. He announces three new exclusives. The first is Ascend: New Gods, from the makers of Toy Soldiers. Looks like a brutal and bloody hack and slash. hah, one of the characters started climbing a giant creature like in Shadow of the Colossus. I'm interested. The next game is called Loco Cycle, made by Twisted Pixel. No gameplay or anything is shown, just a teaser of a futuristic motorcycle. The next game is apparently from the visual director of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It shows an orb thing moving through an ever-changing world, and it's called Matter.

    Two people from Capcom come out. They're going to demonstrate Resident Evil 6. Looks like Leon and Clair have returned to face a new city of zombies. The game's back in the dark. Already my interest is piqued. Crap, just noticed Claire is following Leon. I hope her AI is better than Sheeva's. It's moving too fast. The action is all over the palce, and now they're running from an errupting street that's throwing cars all over the place. Whatever happened to suspense in survival horror games? I don't know..

    Alex Ruiz from the XBL Team comes out to talk about a new game. The game's called Wrecketeer, another Kinect game. ... Skip!

    Now there's a video for a new South Park game. So far, it's all just cutscenes. It's called The Stick of Truth. Hopefully, it will be somewhat good. Trey Parker and Matt Stone come out. Immediately, one of them starts making fun of the other MS guy who kept talking about integration of mobile devices and tablets with XBL and I'm cracking up! Highlight of the show! They're talking about the game and how much work it took to make the game look just like the show, which it definitely does. I'm intrigued.

    Now it's time for Harmonix to introduce .... DANCE CENTRAL 3! SKIIIIIIIYUP!

    Don Mattick comes out again to close the show with Call of Duty Black Ops 2, and a big FUC KING SKIP!

    Rating: D-

    Awful. Simply awful. I'm glad I wasn't watching this live, or I would have been BORED OUT OF MY MIND. The only reason why this conference didn't get a straight F was because of how freaking amazing the Splinter Cell and Tomb Raider games look. Yeah, yeah, Halo 4, so what? Aside from the outstanding looking environments, it looks just like every other Halo game, and as I said earlier, that new accompanying AI voice bothers me. Too much of this conference was wasted on Kinect, smart phone and tablet integration, and entertainment services. Microsoft has clearly dropped the ball, and that mother fuc ker has rolled too far down the hill to recover. They've lost site on what a GAMING COMPANY is, trying to be the jack of all trades, while being the master of none. I don't want your fu cking Kinect. I don't want your fu cking entertainment services, and I don't want your fuc king FartAss (SmartGlass). I want fu cking games, Microsoft. WHERE ARE MY FU CKING GAMES!

    • Posted Jun 5, 2012 4:57 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 4Jun 12

    Wow, I'm actually able to watch this press conference live! So, off we go. Sony shows another boring montage of games set to pop music and again, does not say what these games are. I hate that. After the montage ends, Jack Tretton comes out and of course spouts off at the mouth about how great Sony is. After his ego trip ends, he brings out his first guest. Quantic Dream's David Cage.

    What a nice surprise! The first game being shown is Beyond: Two Souls. Cage also says that the main character is designed after and voice acted by Ellen Paige. A video's being shown and it it looks just as good, maybe if not better than Heavy Rain. I can't wait to learn more about this game! It's kinda hard to see the action, though, cuz the damn conference is lagging like hell, but this game looks great!

    Jack Tretton returns, talking more about how awesome the PS3 is. *sigh* He's talking about that viral marketing video dedicated to Michael, whoever that was. Now he introduces PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royal. This is the first time I've seen anything on this. It has a lot of Sony icons from Kratos to Parappa. The video shown was just a little teaser. Then a group of people come out. Someone just announced it coming to the Vita with cross-play! YES! I'm interested! Two of them are playing on PS3, and two are playing on Vita. Sweet Tooth, Kratos, Fat Princess and another one I didn't catch. Now they's showing them play, and again, this lag is really distracting me. But it looks very similiar to Super Smash Bros. This whole tier-based special attack system looks pretty fun. Ooh, two new characters unveiled. Nathan Drake and Big Daddy it looks like? Sweet.

    Tretton again. He talks more about Cross-Play. He also announces a cross-controller DLC that lets you interact with LBP2. I'm not really into LBP, so I don't care much about this. Talks more about how they're dedicated to support indie game development via PSN network. Talks more about PlayStation +, and 12 more free games this year for being a member. One of which is inFAMOUS 2, available tomorrow.. ... Hmm... I might have to sign up now! Then, he announces that everyone in the audience gets a free year. Nice for them. Finally, he announces that more PS classic are coming to Vita. Tomb Raider and FFVII are two mentioned. He talks more about video services available to Vita, Youtube and Hulu included.

    Now he's announced Call of Duty Black Ops Declassified on the Vita. Meh. He talks more about how awesome Vita is, and it's getting ready to announce a new game. Yes, it looks like a new Assassin's Creed. FU CK THIS CONFERENCE LAG! The new AC looks to be a spin off of ACIII called Liberation. It's built from the ground up specifically for the Vita. It sounds very promising. Also, if you use cross-play with ACIII on the PS3, you can unlock new items. There's going to be an ACIII crystal white Vita bundle. He introduces's Alex Hutchinson and Phillipe Ducharme to talk about ACIII on the PS3.

    The video opens up with a ship going across the water. Again, this lag is killing me. I try a refresh and it makes things a little better, but of course, now the demo's over. Fu ck. Don't care, getting this game and Liberation for the Vita. Tretton announces a new PS3 bundle for ACIII. He introduces Dan Hay of Crytek to talk about Far Cry 3.

    Dan Hay announces a four player co-op for Far Cry 3. Nice. People come up to demonstrate. Wow... this game's got some major pop in... Work in progress or maybe it's just the conference lagging. Gameplay hasn't been anything revolutionary yet. Seems the objective of this level is to plant explosives on the bridge. Teamwork is definitely needed here. The single player and co-op campaigns are seperate. The game sounds like it will be huge.

    Tretton again. This time, he's come out to talk about the Move. *yawns* He introduces Andy House. Andy's starting to bore me. He's talking about a new product that involves books. It looks like this is some kind of AR picture book. It's called Wonderbook. Will be great for educating and entertaining kids. He talks about all the authors they'll collaborate, including J.K. Rowling. Book of Spells will be the first book published for Wonderbook. He introduces Dave Ranyard to demonstrate Book of Spells.

    So, this idea of using augmented reality to tell a picture book is pretty clever. It also allows interactivity with the story. Using the PS Move, the gamer is able to wield a magic wand. A dragon comes out and burns the book, and the gamer waves his hands around to put the fire out, and then smudges the book clean of soot. It looks pretty cool, and would be something perfect to get to place with your little kids.

    Andy once again. Ooh, he announces that the PS Suite will come to tablets and Android phones. He announces that HTC will be among the first PlayStation certified Android devices. He says PlayStation Suite will be renamed PlayStation Mobile.

    Jack Tretton once again. Runs off some numbers, blah blah. He's getting ready to introduce God of War Ascension. Looks just like any previous God of War so far. Already, I do'nt like the fact that it takes so long to kill one medium sized baddy. Always been a problem with this series. Looks like a kracken is tearing a ship up. Tosses half of the hull at Kratos. He uses some kind of time magic to freeze the pieces and climb up a cliff side. Pretty cool. Now he's fighting a kracken tentical, and then a medium sized baddy witih a hammer. Ooh, he just stole the hammer and smacked him good. Nice. Damn, the this game looks amazing from a visual standpoint. Now there's another baddie with an elephant for a head. Pretty much behaves like a cyclops. Oooh, damn, he just cut its skull open like a melon! It ends with Kratos jumping into the maw of the Kraken. March 12, 2013. I can wait.

    Now the room's dark and silent, aside from some birds chirping. Now a video plays and this is obviously the Last of Us. My god this game is gorgeous and the video just started! They're walking around a dilapidated building. They encounter some enemies. Looks like they're about to have a fire fight. There's a stealth takedown, and now some shooting. First thing I notice is no regeneation. Fu ck... Melee encounter, and now the main character has a human shield. He just ran empty, and as the enemy was about to rush him, the girl threw an object at him long enough to distract him for the main character to take him down. Nice touch. He just threw a molotov on a couple of guys. It appears that ammo will be in very short supply in the game, promoting careful item and weapon management. Now he has a couple more melee scuffles and then the demo ends. Game looks great. I look forward to it.

    Tretton comes back out, but now his audio is messed up. He says a joke, but I didn't hear it. He closes the show.

    Rating: C

    It started off good with Quantic Dream and Beyond Two Souls, and finished strongly with The Last of Us, but really, I didn't see anything mind blowing, not even God of War Ascension. I was hoping for some more Vita game announcements, hell, anything for the Vita aside from Call of Duty, but ACIII: Liberation looked great. Also glad to hear there's no mention of the PS4.

    • Posted Jun 5, 2012 3:27 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 3Jun 12

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTwM6jPSOstgn4RVLKRf6b

    WiiWare enthusiasts have probably heard of this game. It's a physics based stacking puzzler. You have a little dish of water with differently shapped posts to stack things on, and once you use all the pieces, the stack needs to stay upright for three seconds. If any pieces fall into the water, you fail. Well, Art of Balance is coming out to the 3DS eShop on June 7th for 6.99 US. I've been giving a copy to play and review for DefaulPrime.com, so I thought I'd share my quick impressions.

    I'm nearly done with the second world, and so far, it's pretty fun. It's not the same kind of fast moving puzzler Tetris sty le games are. It's more of a zen-like puzzler. The music and graphics are pretty mellow, so it has a very relaxing tone to it. The only time your nerves get rattled are when you stack something up and watch as it teeters towards the water.

    Pieces come in all different shapes, from L and Z, to triangles and crosses, and even circles. New kinds of pieces are also introduced that have different effects, such as breaking when you have too many pieces on top of them. If you have a remote idea how gravity works, the game's actually not that hard at all. Of course, I say this only two worlds in, and I'm sure it'll get harder. Most puzzles are pretty straightforward, but some have multiple ways of solving them. Also, there are bonus puzzles that have their own criteria. You might need to build a stack that meets a certain height or build a stack under a time limit.

    As for the 3D effect, it's subtle. It's the kind of diorama effect versus the pop out at you kind. I do like having the 3D on, though, because it gives the pool of water and pieces a little more body. If you ever played this on the Wii and liked it, you may want to pick it up for the 3DS when it comes out later this week.

    • Posted Jun 3, 2012 4:04 pm GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 2Jun 12

    Yes, I did a third blog today. But I actually have stuff to blog about!

    If you don't know what Ted Talks are, they're basically just talks on pretty much every kind of subject imaginable. I discovered them a while back on Ted, and they're quite interesting. Everything from architecture to robotics, to advances in medical science. The one I'm watching right now is actually something that I think all gamers should watch, and that's Will Video Games Become Better Than Life, hosted by famous game maker David Perry. The one thing I found quite interesting was when he was going off about what games he made, he didn't mention Earthworm Jim... Anyway, here's the link. It's quite long, around 20 minutes, but if you have time, please watch. Beats watching Jersey Shore!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfv_hOFT1S4

    • Posted Jun 3, 2012 3:17 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 2Jun 12

    Thank you very much, you shi tty ass Max payne. It's not that the game was hard... it was fu cking broken as all hell.

    ***SPOILER***

    The Last Man Standing Mechanic simply doesn't work when you REALLY need it to work. When you're about to get a fatal shot, time slows, and you can swing your gun around to shoot before your enemy finishes you off, but in these particular instances, it has gotten me stuck in a fence, my gun moving right through a guy, activates when I'm out and instead of trying to quick reload it just keeps clicking, obstructs my vision so I can never shoot back, and even wouldn't bring up my gun in time to finish him off. Oh, let's also mention that right when you face off with him, THE GAME PUTS YOU OUT IN THE FU CKING OPEN!

    I have dumped round after round after round into that freaking helmet wearing guy's head to shoot it off, but I failed and failed and failed. Oh, and just when I had him, the building collapses. Dammit! So, after trying several more times, I actually end up killing him by shooting him through his bullet proof vest. It's like... the game took pity me and said, "Go ahead, pull R2 to win. You've been through enough."

    I HATE this game right now, something fierce. I can't stand when a game has a section where every possible bug, broken mechanic and horrible camera all come out at once. It's like, this section got completely passed over during the play testing process. And by the way, I don't care how well you make your chain link fences; THEY DON'T DEFEND AGAINST SNIPER SHOTS! DO YOU HERE ME, ROCKSTAR?! CHAIN LINK FENCES HAVE HOLES YOU MOTHER FU CKERS! THIS IS 2012! LEARN TO PROGRAM!

    *ahem*

    The controller's fine, though.

    • Posted Jun 3, 2012 12:20 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 2Jun 12

    http://www.gamespot.com/sorcery/reviews/sorcery-review-6379807/

    I have waited and waited and waited for Sorcery. It was the one real game I wanted to get for my Move controller. I haven't touched my Move since Dead Space Extraction, and the only other game I played on it was that awful Kung Fu Rider. I have to say the Move is the second worst investment I've made this generation. The first was buying a Kinect (still boxed).

    But... I'm trying to remain optomistic here, so I'm looking at the user scores and Metacritic score, which are around 30 percent higher. So, is this another Tom McShea blunder like Skyward Sword? Well, no idea about that, because I ended up liking Skyward Sword less than he did. I may just buy Scorcery anyway, reviews be damned. It interested me back then when the Move was unveiled and it still interests me now. l just really want to use my Move again, strange as it sounds.

    And speaking of Move games, anyone notice how they're 10 dollars cheaper on average? Just like Wii and Kinect games. Why are games made with motion controlls in mind cheaper than other games? If it was because they generally require lower budgets, shouldn't all smaller studio games be sold 40-50 dollars? The only exception I can think of right now is that MIB black that was just released, which is 60. Well, Sorcery has been in development for quite some time which suggests to me that the game has cost a pretty penny, yet it's selling for FORTY DOLLARS!Ladies and gentlemen, we are being SCAMMED! We really shouldn't be paying 60 dollars for games anymore.

    Also, I believe I'm going to buy Epic Mickey 2 on the PS3. Since the PS3 can do anything the Wii can do, I'd rather play games with motion controlls on a machine that ... actually has good graphics. Not saying Epic Mickey was ugly on the Wii, just that I know it will look better on the PS3.

    • Posted Jun 2, 2012 4:25 pm GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 29May 12

    "How drunk is he?"

    Max Payne is SOOO drunk, he forgets to drop behind cover again after he pops out to shoot at enemies! *badumpish*

    *crickets*

    "Get off the stage!"

    Ok, so Max Payne does indeed snap back behind cover too slowly, sometimes not at all. Is it because he's drunk, or are the pain killers clouding his mind? Maybe he's just old and forgets. Whatever the case, it's costing me lives. The problem, however, isn't the game. It's my controller.

    See, some time ago, I must have thrown my PS3 controller at someone or something, because I had to fix it. The L2 trigger was out of alignment, and I did the best I could for what little technical knowhow I possessed, and although she wasn't brand new anymore, she still did the job. Most games I played from there on in did not require vital use of the L2. The only game that I remember being very annoying to play with a busted L2 trigger was Disgaea 2, because it kept causing the camera to change. I dealth it. It was a turn-based SRPG. No big deal.

    But Max Payne 3 is a big deal. You take cover, you peak out and take a shot or two, you take cover again. So... when your L2 is sticking, it means Payne's sticking his head out a second too longer. Thick skulled ex-cops can only take so many glancing shots to the cranium before it's Game Over. This morning, I got a few too many of those screens (very simply put, "DEAD"), so I figured enough is enough. Went out and bought a new controller today.

    41qzoVOHFzL._AA300_.jpg

    IT'S BLUE!

    tumblr_kscmnmz8yt1qzpp72o1_500.jpg

    But it cost me 55 dollars... After six years of release, controllers are still 55 dollars...

    polls_pyzamOmgWtf_4834_174079_poll_xlarg

    So yeah, back to playing Max Payne 3. The best hangover remedy (HA! Get it? Remedy! REMEDY! HAHAHA! ... *ahem*) appears to be a new controller.

    • Posted May 30, 2012 3:26 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 28May 12

    61g8yPKo0gL._AA300_.jpg

    How I've waited for this game. Nine long years. I should have gotten something special... Firing it up for the first time, I felt the need to have a drink with Max, since our battle weary hero is constantly inebriated. Four fingers of whiskey in a tall glass of Coke outta suffice. But for some reason, I wasn't really feeling my drink. What's weird, is I wasn't feeling Max either.

    I'm very early in the game, just hit chapter four, but I need to be honest here. *cracks knuckles* The game just feels old. Many Bullet Time shooters have since come after Max Payne 2 and although they may not have done the slo-mo as great as the previous games, they've at least done more interesting things. I can't help but think of Stranglehold and hell, even Wanted, being much more engaged in those firefights than anything I've seen in this game. Again, though, I'm very very early in. All that could change.

    Bullet Time in Max Payne 3 is exactly what it is in the first two games, and there's a couple things I've grown to quickly dislike about it. One, it is USELESS going upstairs. The moment you dive, you're already landing and you just made yourself out to be a sitting duck. Learn, adapt, and try again. At least there are different ways to attack a firefight. I just really hate that tiny reticule! For mouse and keyboard, I'm sure it's no problem, but aiming is cumbersome for me on the PS3, as it was for the the first two games on the Xbox.

    Now ,the one thing I'll say is I actually don't mind the cover mechanic. "But it turns Max Payne into just another third-person shooter!" Noooo.... it turns Max Payne into a more realistic shooter. and gives you a fighting chance. I already ran into instances where if I tried to Shoot Dodge, I'd crumble into a pile at the worst possible place, or there simply wouldn't be enough room to execute a Shoot Dodge. This is where the cover comes in! It allows you to take a precious second to evaluate your surroundings and pop out and pick off enemies to thin their numbers before you dive out into the open with a big sign on your back that says, "Shoot me!" You really don't NEED to use the cover mechanic, so if you don't like the idea of hiding behind a corner, simply don't. But I view this as a much appreciated addition.

    As for the presentation of the game, it feels too modern. It feels like too many GTA directors got behind the cinematics and writing of Max Payne 3, because I simply can't stand the cutscenes. Max Payne 1 and 2's atmosphere had a lovely Noir theme to it, and 3 doesn't. There's all this camera blur and image distoring filters that I guess is supposed to simulate an inebriated state, but it just bothers me. Plus, I don't even think the graphics look that great. I heard it's supposed to be amazing on the PC, but well, me and PCs... you know...

    I wish I had better things to say about the game, but so far, my first impression just hasn't been that good. I guess the one thing that I can say I really love is when time slows down during the fatal shot on the last enemy in the room and it shows the body being accurately and graphically damaged by a bullet. What's even cooler is that while the enemy's dying in slow-motion, you can shoot him again. And again, and again. I shot one guy and as he fell backwards, I fired another round which tore his jaw off! I then exclaimed to my friend on Messenger, "I KANYE'D HIM!" The game's had its highlights and I'm sure there will be many more to be had, but honestly, I'm not seeing any evolution in this game.

    EDIT: Also, I want to say that over the years of playing games with health regeneration, I realized just how soft it's made me as a gamer. I seriously hate having to scrounge for pain killers. Again, I'm really fortunate for the cover mechanic.

    • Posted May 29, 2012 6:01 am GMT
    • Category: N/A
  • 28May 12

    "Video game companies were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they SHOULD!" Ian Malcom, paraphrased.

    Bad, bad, decisions were made this generation, by all the camps. PC, Nintendo, Sony, MS. ALL OF THEM have had completely moronic jackass ideas and fu ckwad implementations. It's 2:30 in the morning, so I'm not going to run a list of examples here. If you even remotely follow video game news, you can pluck one out for each platform. But yeah, this generation of gaming has been the worst yet, at least from a logistical standpoint. Hell, even from a games standpoint in certain aspects.

    So I got wind of Sony's newest blunder of developing a patent that will effectively STOP your gameplay to show you an advert. Yes, you'll be playing Grand Theft Auto V, about to shoot a mafia goon with your sniper rifle and all of a sudden, "Beef! It's what you should be consuming for your evening meal!" Or you'll be playing Gran Turismo 6 and as you're about to make a dangerous yet skillful inside pass on a hairpin turn at the six times revisited Laguna Seca in your Acura NSX, the game pauses to bring you an actual advertisment by Acura!

    Our games are getting royally fu cked over. And there isn't enough protest about it. We're becoming too complacent, too indifferent to the amount of reaming our favorite pasttime is enduring. We just want to play the next game and the next, so on and so forth and scruples be damned! "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! ... When does the game come out?" But I'm not holier than thou. I did, after all, ask for Ridge Racer Vita for a gift and then paid 8 bucks for DLC that should have been in the game. Yes, I'm part of the problem.

    Can you imagine listening to the radio and during the middle of your favorite song, a commerical for Pepsi comes on, right in the middle of the second verse as you're rapping to in your car? Wouldn't it seem odd to you that a McDonalds manager would come up to you while you're in the middle of eating your Big Mac, tells you to stop chewing and tries to sell you an apple pie? Wouldn't you be offended if you were having sex with your wife and your condom forced your member to wither while a mini speaker started playing its infamous "TROJAN MAN!" jingle to sell more condoms to you?

    There is a time and a place for advertisements and interrupting gameplay is neither the time or place for them. It's intrustive, disruptive, irritating, obnoxious, insulting and a just plain awful idea. If Sony actually does go through with this, the cost of games had BETTER go down. Commericals during TV is one thing, because we don't pay anything for broadcast, but we sure as HELL PAY for our video games, so how dare they try to make extra revenue on us via this means!

    .... So when does Gran Turismo 6 come out again?

    • Posted May 28, 2012 9:38 am GMT
    • Category: N/A