ANTHEM

So, I've seen a few movies in 2012. OK, a lot. I'm not even sure how many. But I'll focus first on the 2012 releases that I saw and see if I feel like discussing others.

First, the bad movies of 2012

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol- So stupid. Tom Cruise hit his head EVERYWHERE and stood up with a smile afterwards. Way to go Tommy boy! Actually, Tommy Boy is an awesome movie.... Ghost Protocol? One of the worse movies of 2012 I saw.

Skyfall- So utterly stupid I fell asleep. I was woken up by the shock of a girl behind me at the events happening and while I awake I saw a villain that was a Joker knock-off, a Bond that was Bruce Wayan knock-off, an action finale that was a Home Alone knock-off and yes, I'm aware that it's action packed. Big. Freaking. Deal. This. Movie. Was. So. Stupid. Someone told me I must not be a James Bond fan, because if I was I would have loved this movie. Here's the deal, if I have to be a Bond fan to enjoy this crap than Bond fans have sh*t taste.

Brave- Another disappointment. Brave is Pixar's second worst movie. The good news is it isn't horrible. It's definitely watchable. That's really about it though. I mean, you can watch it. That's the best praise I can give for this middling cartoon and a major studio that seems to be losing its way over the years.

The Hunger Games- HEY, IT'S LIKE BATTLE ROYALE BUT FOR B*TCHES AND C*CKSUCKING P*SSIES! YAY!

The Amazing Spiderman- This one wasn't so much bad as it is totally forgettable.

Next, the other movies I saw in 2012

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World- It's entertaining. I'll never watch it again and gamers think it's spectacular. But it's not. It's a fun time. And that's all it will ever be.

The Expendables- OK, I really like The Expendables. It's like a guilty pleasure of mine.

Eyes Wide Shut- I love Stanley Kubrick and I had never seen this movie. It's awesome. I'm glad I saw it.

The Killing- Another classic by Kubrick!

Killer's Kiss- Another Kubrick classic that I missed. I know, I'm bad. But it's cool, I've now seen all of his movies.

The Sword of Doom- A dark Samurai thriller that did No Country for Old Men long before there was a No Country For Old Men.

The Wolves- One of the best Yakuza movies I've seen. The Wolves is one of Japan's finest Crime epics.

House of Flying Daggers- Slick and with beautiful visuals. I doubt I'll watch it again, but it was fun while I saw it.

Now to rank the best releases of 2012!!

10. The Expendables 2- Because Van Damme, baby! Jean Claude Van Damme kicks a knife into someone's chest. HE KICKS A KNIFE INTO SOMEONE'S CHEST! I love The Expendables movies, man. They're great, silly, campy fun.

9. The Avengers- Fun summer fluff. I'll be honest, I think Joss Whedon is the man and that everything he touches is gold and The Avengers is some of the most fun I had in a movie theater ever. I was laughing at the jokes, at the action, at everything, but all in a good way. It's ultimately a forgettable movie, but it worked in providing a great time while it was running.

8. Looper- I'm not sure if I fully enjoyed it or not, but it has remained on my mind and that's saying something. It takes a turn for the bizarre halfway through as it changes protagonists and the roles of different characters. Ultimately I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Should I think about what's happening or should I call it lazy and that the filmmakers tried making two movies in one? I'll have to watch it again, but at the least it has remained on my mind more than most movies do. I think that says something interesting about this movie. I just don't know what it is.

7. Hitchcock- It is my personal belief that Anthony Hopkins should be nominated for his performance. A lot of folks didn't like this one, but I thought the acting was superb and I rather liked that it focused on Hitch's relationship with his wife rather than on Psycho. The best way to experience Psycho is to watch Psycho. But Hitchcock has some great performances and I really enjoyed my time with the movie.

6. Zero Dark Thirty- Intense and respectful to the subject matter. Zero Dark Thirty is a suspenseful, gritty and uncompromising movie. It handles the subject matter really well and provides a satisfying conclusion to the events that take place. It's far from the best movie released in 2012 but it is one of the more interesting pieces of the year.

5. The Cabin in the Woods- It turns the genre on its head. If you haven't seen it you're missing out. The moral of this story? Smoke weed and let the world end. It's awesome. It also happens to play with the horror genre in a way that you honestly would have never expected. This one will be remembered and it will be spoken of favorably in the years to come.

4. Moonrise Kingdom- Just a wonderful movie! It's dream-like in nature and just wonderful! Surreal and beautiful are two of many ways to describe it. I loved every minute of Moonrise Kingdom, the performances from everyone are just so well done. And Tilda Swinton, you cold, foxy cougar you. You always manage to steal my breath with your cool, emotionless performances. The movie juxtaposes innocence and its loss from the perspective of adults and children. It has a storybook charm to it that just sweeps you away. It's highly entertaining and genuinely fantastic.

3. The Dark Knight Rises- When I saw Rises in theaters I was happy. I was absolutely content. I walked out with the belief that it wasn't as good as The Dark Knight but that it was still a spectacular movie. I rewatched it and now I'm conflicted: could it be better than The Dark Knight? is the question that popped up in my mind. Rises is a comic book movie for a new age. One in a post Dark Knight world. While the second movie will be the most important to the genre, the third movie is the first true success story to follow it. Some folks say they dislike it. I've only noticed it get better with each viewing. This is pop culture at its most spectacular and I wouldn't be surprised if further viewings raised it higher on my list, because it wasn't number 3 after the first viewing.

2. Django Unchained- Close to being the best, but years from now people will study it and all of Tarantino's works together. Tarantino is a force to be reckoned with. Django Unchained is a masterpiece that I honestly wish I could view back to back in an attempt to catch all of its finer intricacies. This is the first time Django has been black (he was Japanese last time), but Tarantino helps show us conflicted views on violence. When it's justified we feel good, when it's not we feel horrified. His talent as a filmmaker is in making us question why we laugh at certain scenes but are terrified by others. Easily one of the finest movies of 2012, it's depth is unparalleled.

1. Argo- Simply the best, it adds enough Hollywood flair to make it entertaining but keeps the truth of the events at the forefront. Argo is one of the single most thrilling movies I have ever seen. The final hour of it is absolutely breath-taking and Ben Affleck was robbed of a Best Director nomination for his work on this historical masterpiece. The way they recreated the past through photographs shows the tremendous amount of time and effort that went into this intense and exciting movie. If you see only one movie released from 2012 make it Argo. If you see more than one, watch Argo more than once. It's the finest American cinema has had to offer in 2012 (and 2011 and dare I say 2010, this is one of the best movies in years).