My blog, my rules.

• 10Oct 08

  One Bad Trip

  Just two days ago I had the worst mary jane trip of my life. My friend and I, being the idiots we are, decided to smoke in the woods during the night time. We had just gotten some stuff from these random people at the park. At first, I felt nothing and was upset, but then I started walking around and and a trigger was pulled. Everything became looking the same and my hearing was acute like a super hero. I became incredibably paranoid, and when I looked at my friend he appeared every where I turned my head and was repeating "Yo man, you're bugging out" at least a hundred times. I was scared out of mind and couldn't walk anymore, totally blanking out.

  Soon after, my friend's voice was becoming scary sounding, so I grabbed his wrist and ran forward with him. I wanted to escape from him but at the same time I was terrified of being alone in the woods. I ran until I existed and got to my car. At first, I thought of driving home, but a feeling stopped me. I ran off to my house instead of driving, about a 2 mile distance, and while I'm running he's screaming at me that I left my car. His voice is terrifying me so I run even faster. Then I start to forget where I am, and I enter a new consciousness. I'm alone in this empty world, a ghost, and all I see is a dark world lit up by blinding lights a long a path. I keep running even though I have this painful feeling in my legs as if they were going to explode, thinking if I stop I'm going to die because something divine or supernatural that will scare the flesh out of me will get me. I'm running but I'm not going anywhere because I passed the same object a dozen times when just running straight. My mind becomes clay and my thoughts are expanding and compressing; one second I'm terrified by a million thoughts scrambling at once and the next I'm scared because I forget everything there is. Then these memories of my past spring up. They were really random, forgotten memories like a joke I pulled in 4th grade and a time I did a trick on my bike when I was younger. Then I start imagining myslef as a baby, all the carefree feelings and especially the strong feeling of discovery. Every thought was a new discovery and every object around my was something new that I was somewhat familiar with but didn't know how to identify. I start to foce myslef to remember recent memories, but I couldn't. This seemed like a confirmation that I was dead and seeing my life flash before me. I then forgot who I was and reached a whole new level of fear and paranoia. I forgot my personalily and how I think and act. I was just an abstract ghost running in an empty world, destined to do this forever. After being convinced I was a ghost and that I had died and was destined to be tortured by walking on the earth with out stopping for all eternity, as if the world was a giant treadmill, I broke into the side of a house. I felt that I was going to be safe in there. When I entered I was in a room that looked like a dentist office and I sat in a chair staring at the enviornment around me. I then noticed a door in front of me. I stared at that, scared of the idea of what could be behind it. Ideas such as a monster, a black hole, or God raced through my head and I ran out the house. I didn't know where to go, so I sat on a chair on the porch and slept for a while. I woke up, still high but aware that this wasn't my house. By instinct, I walked in the direction that felt like home and when I got there I ran right into my room and covered the blanket on my head. I was scared because I still wasn't myself, I was nobody and nothing. I had doubts about everything and I thought that this whole thing could be a bad lucid dream. I start checking the room and making sure everything was in its right place, then I went to sleep.

  A couple of hours later, and I'm woken up by the police that I left my car with the keys inside at the park. By this time I'm freaking out and thinking that they know what happened to me. I then start thinking that the whole world knows. Long story short, I still felt out of my body, paranoid, and unsure of who I was until the late afternoon the next day, I got away with just a $54 fine for leaving my car, the cops didn't know what I did, my mom found out but didn't blow up about it. I guess she felt that the horrible journey and pain I felt was punishment enough. I was thinking my friend was just as high as me and wound up dead because when I called him he didn't answer, but he was much more aware than I was and told me how wierd I acted.

  So, this whole thing, even though it was terrible experiencing it, was interesting looking back. I have no idea how I hallucinated so badly just by smoking, and my friend who was doing the same thing was much more fine. I think it might have to do with the thoughts in my head around the time. I've been stressed by a million different things and I thought I could ease it all away. This might be the last time I ever smoke. But seeing my life flash before me like that and feeling the need to walk forever, I feel scared but comfortable with death. I'm pretty sure that when you die it will feel something like that endless treadmill journey where your legs hurt, so now I know what to expect. I'd really like to think this, but then again it could wind up being the dumbest assumption I will ever make. Any way, I pity very much the idea of being constantly stoned and loosing the idea of who you are. I'm starting to feel that the best feelings you can get in life isn't from a trip, but accomplishing something great that reflects who you are. This may sound like a typical statement, but I hold it very close to me now and have a very strong feeling for it that I don't think any one could understand.

  • Posted Oct 10, 2008 8:44 pm GMT
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• 27Sep 08

  My Birthday

  My birthday is coming on Oct. 4th. My mom told me she'd get me a turntable as a gift for under $200, but I might be able to squeeze $50 more into that deal. If anyone knows about turntables let me know because I'm desperate for some info. I need to know the best places to buy and the best models for my needs. I'm looking fro preferably belt drive, heavy platter, no plastic, automatic, and all the features for the best sound quality at the lowest price for home use, not DJing.
  • Posted Sep 27, 2008 9:27 pm GMT
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• 13Aug 08

  Me with my buddy ?uestlove.

  

  Yeah, you're jealous.

  • Posted Aug 13, 2008 6:21 pm GMT
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