So this crap appeared on my computer screen last night, I think it was calledThe Best Exotic (sex you've ever had) Marigold Hotelor something like that. Rich old people dealing with oldness was the premise, I think. It was late and I needed something to put me to beddy bye. Tom Wilkinson was in it. Actually, I think I recognized all the old farts starring in this movie. All of which are kings of their industry. Acting for hundreds and hundreds of years. Big studs theyd be called if they were on the farm. Big studs.

Take Chris Bale. One second hes a pyscho, the next minute hes Batman, then tomorrow hes a magician, then next week hes Batman again, then next month hes some priest banging Chinese prostitutes, then when youre a year older hes (your mom) Batman again. Is he Batman or isnt he, stop playing games with my heart tuba. Then theres Sam L. Jacks. We all know the variety of roles this guy has played (loud black dude and seriously solemn Jedi) But every time I watch him (and imagine him with no pants on) I only see a Hollywood lemming thats jumped off the cliff 50 times already, not the character hes supposed to be embodying. This goes for any veteran Hollywood rug-burn. Its all the same.

I guess this is one reason why I like watching foreign films. Im not familiar with the dang actors (probably superstars in their respective countries for all I know) so its easier to trick myself into thinking theyactuallyare the characters they're depicting on camera. In general, this also works with the first time ya' laid eyes on a a particular actor. For instance the first film I saw Daniel Day Lewis in wasIn the Name of the Fatherand I remember enjoying that film somewhat. I was at an age where I still (used magazines to wank)wasnt familiar with many actors so it was as easy soaking up the performances as it is sucking milk from (your moms chest) a coconut. But now the English yuppy is Lincoln for Christs sake.

Movie awards come around once and awhile. What a wonderful moment that is to reflect on all the hard work superstars put into their roles we (want to toss in a trash compactor and forget about forever) cherish so deeply. At some point theyre probably down on the red-carpet shooting the breeze to each other (talking about where their third house is gonna be located), "Remember that time I played that dude in that movie last year?" or "Remember that time I played that dude in that movie while I was also playing another dude in like 3 other movies at the same time?"

Keep in mind Im not suggesting that actors make one movie then be done with movies altogether. I mean, I loved Humphrey Bogart (as Philip Marlowe). And even in other movies when he wasnt supposed to be Philip Marlowe he was still sort of Philip Marlowe. He played that role because thats who Humphry Bogart was--A hard-boiled badass who got chicks and smoked mad cigs. He would never have taken a role to play friggin Lincoln (like his contemporary Henry Fonda did) because Humphy Bogart wasnt friggin Abraham Lincoln, and neither is Daniel Sieze the Day Lewis.