Come on, we don't want to leave too large a carbon footprint now, do we?

So yes, I'm done with GameSpot. The last few days have been a total shock, with developments proving ever more farcical. The trust I had for this once great site is no more, and I have no desire to keep coming back. What's the point in giving the site any traffic or hits at all?

There's been some great times here and great people. But this is the end of an era. It's been a blast - why not join me at www.1up.com or www.thevirtualunderground.net. If you can't bring yourself to join another community, you can always message me on my Xbox profile, Meenie Man.

I'll check over your comments until Friday and after that I'm gone for good. Keep up the good fight, and never settle for second best.

And that hero is Captain Shleco! ZZoMBiE13, a cool dude that spends his time around the Virtual Underground forum, has gradually turned the community into a series of superhero drawings and finally the time has come for me to develop my own spin-off series. I think you'll find he has got my buff physique spot-on.

The similarities between myself and Captain Britain are uncanny. We're both born in Essex, were shy and studious in our youth and while he upholds the laws of the land, the GameSpot Terms of Use are my way of life. I've also been known to engage in battle with the supernatural, though I've never become a hermit on the Cornish coast. Not yet, anyway.

You can see more of ZZoMBiE13's drawings here and read up all about Captain Britain at - where else? - Wikipedia.

With my Mac chugging like the hard disk is being powered by a lethargic one-legged hamster, I thought it was time to clear up some of the assorted nonsense that is clogging up my desktop. Amongst some of my old essays and seal porn I found a load of game and GameSpot related gubbins. And now, thanks to GameSpot hosting images and vids, I thought I'd yank this stuff on here to share it with you. Ladies and Gentlemen, I just love to treat you.

Firstly, some commercials. Yes, going out of your way to watch adverts is a bit odd, but these are actually worth checking out as they're funny. If you've ever looked at a CCTV camera and thought about shooting it out to avoid being seen after playing a few too many games then this Metal Gear Solid 2 Substance commercial should be right up your alley. Whizzing across the other side of the Atlantic, a vintage advert for the PlayStation should provide a wave of nostalgia to those who remember 1995 and confusion to everyone else. Finally, here's a short ad for Donkey Konga, which could quite possibly be the most jawdropping 22 seconds of film you've ever seen. It's recommended you sit down when you watch it, lest you fall over in shock and awe at the powerful message it conveys: GameCube and bongos £89.99? Bloody hell!

In the way of images, I've got two albums of stuff uploaded. The first is what I call 80's Computing, and is basically three scans I found ages ago of anti-piracy adverts from old British magazines. The indignation on John's face is amazing. I've also for some unknown reason downloaded a few images from GameSpot over the years and you can see a collection of banners, topless women and gangsta trippin' moments here. And a picture of Mel Gibson from the Apocalypto trailer, just because.

And finally, in the wake of their being so many 300 blog entries, I decided not to do my own version, so I'll put my cut joke here:

This is Madness!

I'm not on speaking terms with my Xbox 360 at the moment. The little swine keeps dropping off my BT wireless internet for seemingly no reason whatsoever, even though it worked fine a few months ago. It effectively becomes a lottery if I can actually sign in to my profile and be online without having to do a mind-numbing five minutes of testing my connection, the machine freezing all over the shop while doing so. Naturally the best part comes when within minutes of being online it randomly disconnects again. Or pretends it can't connect when I can see my friends list pop up and the marketplace fill up with content to download.

Jump in? It feels more like taking a Stanner Stairlift down a long flight of steps. I think all the faffing about is a large reason why I haven't played my 360 much recently, Worms aside.

It's also wonderful to see that the one online match I manage to get into Worms sees the host drop out after a bad start. And then my 360 loses its connection. Gragh. I am just at the end of my tether with this stupid thing. Back to the chunky DS and 42 All-Time Classics (aka Clubhouse Games) it is then.

Hello gamers, it ish me, Shean Connery, the mosht Shcottish Russhian in the world. No matter where the character I am playing comesh from, I will always have a dishtinctive Shcottish accent! I have always been a big fan of games ever shince EA paid me mega bucksh to phone in my dialogue in the James Bond game, From Russhia With Love. It came out on a number of different consholes, though I was dishappointed it never came out on the Eckshboxsh ThreeShixty. Don't mock my accent!

Anyway, enough about me, letsh talk Yoshi's Island on the Nintendo DeeEsh. I have played through to the end of World 3-4 and have mixed feelings about the game. The bashic game still plays well, dishpatching eggsh acrossh the landshcape, collecting red coins, flowers and shtar pieces. Artoon have not meddled about too much with this, and they've reshishted the temptation to implement unnecesshary touch shcreen controls. However, by having different babies in the game they've given the DS shequel the necesshary fresh twisht it needed. Shwapping Baby Mario for the shkills of the Peach and Donkey Kong shprogs makes for more intereshting levels and encouragesh repeat playthrough, to shee if there is anything extra you may have misshed.

This is jusht as well, as the game looks to be fairly short otherwishe. It didn't take long to breeze through to my current shpot, and even though I will replay to try and get everything in each shtage to unlock further levels, it sheems a bit shorter than I thought it might be. Alsho, if you thought New Shuper Mario Bros. was eashy, thish one gives you even more livesh in resherve - I have 90 plus!

While I'm generally impresshed, there have been moments where it is painfully obvious that the game hasn't been developed by Nintendo themshelves. Shome of Artoon's character deshign is atrocious and is completely out of place in the Mario world; conshider the freaky looking kangaroo, which clashes with the art shtyle the resht of the game exshibitsh. The shipsh in World 3 are shimilarly ugly - it almosht reminds me of the aborted Mario CD-i game that was developed by the Russhians and was never releashed. Dishgusting! Moreover, shome of the level deshign lacks the tightness of a Nintendo title, with awkward scrolling, shilly placing of items and shomeshuch that sheem to have been lifted from an altogether more mediocre game. I would also have liked to shee shome new transhformations for Yoshi, beshides the helicopter, mole and shubmarine forms lifted from the ShNES original.

I have high hopes that the game will get better from this point but overall, I'm feeling the shame way I did towards this game as I did with New Shuper Mario Bros. Enjoyable enough, but nowhere near as good as the originalsh the games were bashed on. Alsho very eashy sho far, though I have heard it gets harder. If I was to rate it on the GameShpot shcale on what I've played sho far, I would rate it in the high shevens to low eights.

What do you think of the game, viewers? I would like to read your impresshions! And drink shome gin.

So, Double Dragon is coming to the Xbox Live Arcade this March and some people are rather excited about it. But the chance to play this revered classic and stare in bemusement at the hideous new updated graphics aren't the main reason I'm excited, oh no. Why I'm thrilled is because the game stars none other than Arsenal and Germany goalkeeper Jens Lehmann as the main character.



It's uncanny! Perhaps they're brothers?