• 6Sep 08

  Victory!

  

  Plumma has triumphed over Gustav. The battle was devastating and the price was great, but he has saved humanity. As Gustav limped upwards the enemy assembled more hurricanes in an all out counterattack. They sent Hanna to the eastern US and now Ike threatens the gulf states.. Oh don't worry... Plumma's ready.

  • Posted Sep 6, 2008 5:10 pm GMT
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• 30Aug 08

  Epicness is at Hand!

  

  The day of reckoning is coming... The baddest ass dude in the world taking on possibly one of the most badass hurricanes ever. **** is going down soon and the battle will be so terrifying, so dramatic, SO BRUTAL that it will devastate the lands and mow down all in it's vicinity.
  
  Gustav is coming and Plumma has accepted his taunts. The battle will be a costly one. No one is sure who will remain on the top. Thousands are already leaving as the battle looms ever closer. It's advised that you take what you can and leave now for your own sake.
  

  Well it's come. I have a huge hurricane coming and it's got a bullseye on my behind. As of now it's headed straight for me and more than likely I will get hit one way or another. Whether it be head on or slightly to the leftright it doesnt really matter. Already at a category 4, Gustav has the potential to flatten the entire northwestern gulf coast. Given the track record hurricanes have when they hit the gulf, it can very easily strengthen to a category 5 and destroy anything and everything.
  
  I live in southern Louisiana and I've been through many hurricanes before. Even some pretty bad ones but this could be a true killer. As of now we've not made any plans yet. Tomorrow will give me a better idea of where it's headed. If it indeed stays on it's current path and maintains it's intensity then I ain't stayin nowhere around here. We'll definitely lose power for a few days if not over a week so I may not be around anytime soon.
  
  Rita had us out of power for a few days and no gas in sight. Being we live right by I-10 many evacuees pass through and things get pretty chaotic around here. Luckily Katrina BARELY missed us. But luck always runs out at some point...
  
  I'll be sure and write when I am able to but that could be much later. It's expected to hit around Tuesday sometime so after then I'll most likely be MIA for a while. So be sure and be nice while I'm away battling the hurricane to save humanity. Keep your distance because it will cause mass destruction. Just you wait and see. It will be talked about for ages and ages to come...

  Don't remind me about Hanah or the other two possibles out there. Gonna be a busy month. >_>

  • Posted Aug 30, 2008 7:37 pm GMT
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• 5Aug 08

  Learn to be a Jedi

  

  You too can learn to be a Jedi!!

  Plumma's Jedi Training Program is a specially formulated training exercise developed by Plumma to train new Jedi Knights. For one week you'll learn to lift rocks without touching them, do one handed handstands, and lift heavy equipment with j00r mind!

  Build your own lightsaber and choose from any of our fabulous color combinations. We have colors for the cool dudes and even cute ones for the adorable Jedi chics you just want to reach out and touch with the Force.

  For only 5,000 credits you too can use the Force to 'force' your badassness on others and levitate in the air while laughing at their pathetic weak minded existence. So come on down and test your skills and mind as Plumma takes you on a deep journey through the mystrerious Force.

  Whether you wanna be light or dark it doesn't matter. Plumma ain't hatin' on nobody nor is he a racist. Be what you wanna be.

  Here's some of our satisfied customer comments:

  "Plumma's Jedi Training is the best in the galaxy!! He really knows how to utilize the Force and teach it to n00bs. I highly recommend his program to any who are interested in improving their mind and body through the Force." - Bob from Kentucky

  "Thanks to Plumma I was able to quit my juicing and pump up naturally. I've kicked so much ass in the MMA after learning the force and I have the man himself to thank for teaching me the value of hard work and staying true to yourself and your competitors." - Jack from New York

  "Plumma is so ******* HAWT!!!! " - Christie from Plumma's Bedroom

  Come see what people are talking about!!

  Apply TODAY!!

  And remember, That's no moon... it's the back of Plumma's head!

  (Excludes tax and equipment costs, Jedi robes available on our website)

  • Posted Aug 5, 2008 2:00 pm GMT
  • Category: Humor
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