Safety is an important part of my job, so every year we award the person who made safety the highest priority.

Here are some of the winners:

Most of these winners even have all their fingers and toes!

I don't know why you guys bother to watch this glorified, overhyped series of commercials.

Hey, it may be McDonald's, but it sure is the right price!

http://www.anguschipotlebbqbacon.com/

EDIT: So I went to McDonald's yesterday with my coupon. Sadly I had neglected to read the fine print. This burger is only available in California. What a rip!

NOTE: Print coupon at the end of this post to get 25% off used Xbox 360 games at Gamestop!

The last month or so has been a gamer's paradise for me. In addition to having a full 10 day stretch of paid holiday from work I had a week without the family in early June which I wisely spent gaming. In total i netted about 2000 gamer points during this time.

First, I finished off Blue Dragon and the Darkness. Decent games, and most of the high scoring achievements were near the end. In Blue Dragon's case, the biggest chunk by far was for after the end, when I power leveled my characters. I then picked up the Orange Box and had fun running through Half-Life 2 and Portal. I found portal to be everything people have been gushing about it, though I was a bit confused with the ending- did I actually escape or was the room with the cake and the rebirth of GLADOS the real ending? Anyway, I got a good chunk of gamerscore out of it, but not really too much for the time investment; but what can you expect for a disk with 5 games in 1?

Next I picked up 2 older games, Just Cause and History Channel: Civil War. Just Cause is a GTA alike and is large. It features some poor driving missions, er rather a lot of poor driving missions. But the fighting is fun enough, though nothing really stands out about the game. It will take a long time to squeeze the gamerscore out of that one. Civil War is quicker but more disappointing. As a History Channel game I expected to have a bunch of skippable cut scenes going into depth about the Civil War battles I was about to take part in (by the way, I love the History Channel and I especially love learning about the Civil War). No such luck; any educational value in the game is so skimpy it would barely cover Ambrose Burnside's bikini zone. And the FPS part of the game is even worse; everyone is really really ugly and there are only 3 character models for each side so you are killing a heck of a lot of twins. The grenades are incredibly overpowered (especially for the 1860's!) and are insta-kill if you are withing their large blast radius- even if you are behind cover! But it does let you save the game (no checkpoints) and the gamerscore comes pretty fast and furious. So it's not all bad.

Then I picked up Europa Universalis 3, which unfortunately doesn't have any gamerscore. I loved EU1 and EU2 and EU3 is even better. There are more variables to control than ever. If you are not a micro-managing type then this might not be the game for you. But if you love history and Civilization style games then this game rocks. In my latest game I managed to form Germany in the 1500's. Spain never managed to form (Aragon is still barely surviving) but England is already a huge colonial power and my main rival at the moment. The Ottoman Empire is becoming alarmed at my eastern expansion but has yet to fight a war with me.

When I traded in The Darkness and Blue Dragon I got Beautiful Katamari- This game is fun but fairly short. I am sure it will take some time to finish collecting all the cousins and presents and of course the gamerscore. (this is my daughter and my first Katamari game, the reviewers disliked it saying it was the same as previous games, but since I haven't played them I like this one just fine).

With the rest of my store credit, a little bit of money earned doing a mall survey, and a 25% off coupon I bought Golden Compass and Assassin's Creed- both exceeded my expectations. Golden Compass isn't especially good, but it is much better than the reviews led me to expect (I think it's certainly better than the bland movie). Sure there are a few bugs and annoying spots, but the game mostly works and I like asking the compass questions. Assassin's Creed was massively overhyped and I had doubts about it. The reviews were mostly glowing, but then some people reviewed it for free (player reviews) and were not very kind to it. So I didn't expect much. I have found the plot to be enjoyable, the combat quite fun, the scenery is beautiful- and any repetition is tolerable. I guess I might change my opinion when I finish it and get to the terrible cliffhanger, but for now it has captivated me. And the gamerscore has come pretty quick as well.

For anyone who made it through that wall of text, here is your reward:

And thanks for reading!

10 thing about me:

1. White male

2. Interracially married with 1.4 children

3. Make between $10,000 and $250,000 a year

4. Raised Unitarian Universalist

5. Work for what was formerly the largest Biotech company in the world (it has since lost market cap)

6. Think the Simpsons is the greatest show of all time (Monty Python and Black Adder are close 2nds)

7. Was valedictorian of my high school

8. Have a Feynman-like ability to do calculations in my head

9. Work the graveyard shift

10. Drive a Prius

Technology has vastly improved the face of gaming. Games look very real, sound very real and are so quick and responsive that you might as well be playing in real life. The computing power, speed and storage of current machines are so vast that computer chess programs are virtually unbeatable (by humans) and can look so many moves ahead that they can play out the whole game in seconds. So why are we still having problems with AI?

Back in the day I had a game on my Apple IIe called Curse of the Azure Bonds, a AD&D game. Combat was turn and hex based. It was fun. One day I met a mage named Akbar and he joined my party as an NPC, not under my control. I was excited as he had the potent spell fireball which could take out several enemies at once. In our first battle he ran right up to the enemies (outrunning my fighters who were encumbered by heavy armor) and cast a fireball. Sadly, he incinerated himself in that first blast and I realized it would be a waste of money to resurrect him, as he was programmed to do such idiocy every time.

Skip forward 18 years and I am playing Half-Life 2. True, these allies are not quite as dumb as Akbar. But they love to run over lasers to activate turrets. They continually run out into the sights of snipers. They run in front of me when I am trying to shoot or throw a grenade. And worst of all- they don't listen to orders! One guy even says: "You have the environmental suit, you take care of these turrets." And yet they still hang around. I tell them to stay in this other room while I deal with the turrets. A few seconds later, as the bullets start flying, I hear the cry "There's Freeman, follow him!" and they run out of their hidy hole to get slaughtered.

One of your erstwhile allies... Oops, wait. No, he's actually much smarter.

Problems similar to these are found in almost all games that include allied AI- how often did Wrex stand there shooting a wall or the back of your head in combat? It was annoying how many times I had to restart a checkpoint in COD2 because an ally had run into my sights as I was lining up a sniper shot. I believe that Akbar's problems could have been easily remedied, but the transition to 3-D and real time combat has made programming allies a lot more complicated. Mass Effect actually did a good job of mitigating their ally AI failures by making it impossible to hurt eachother. Someday soon they will make an AI that actually works in a realistic, and helpful, fashion. I hope this achievement will get the notice it deserves from the gaming press.