• 22Aug 08

  Where I Stand: The Day I Die

  

  Joke, laugh, hate, play, love... What a feeling. That's life. That's... Something I try to keep in tact. See, it's funny how people see you on the outside. That's where the first impression comes from. Most people don't care what you've been through, most just want to live life; maybe meet a few faces along the way. That's why I'm glad I'm the person I am. I can make friends so easy. The irony of it all is that I'm nothing like what I should be. "What I should be..." That's a statement that makes me laugh. See, I remember in 5th grade I had a devorce councelor who was helping me in my times as my dad devorced my mom. She told me that it's hard and that a lot of kids become something they should never be. It's because of the pains of life that they are manipulated into some sort of synthetic piece of garbage that society calls "ill."

  That's where it all started - the devorce. I was seven years old with a life that was sculpted based on my mom's motherly conduct; not much to say there. My mom became too much for my dad and eventually it led to the lovely devorce. I remember the day afterwards my dad tried to come over to grab his computer and as he was going down the stairs my mom threw a vase at my dad which shattered on his head. Me and my little brother ran into my room freaking out. Yeah, good times.

  That was just the beginning.

  My mom was abusive. I never realized it until I got older and actually opened my mind. She used to hit me and even choke me when she was frustrated. It was more frequent when I was a baby because she would get mad when I cried. Those aren't the types of recollections you want about your mom, you know? She tried so many ways to create some hell for my dad after the devorce. She tried to take down my grandparents by accusing my uncle of molesting me. When that didn't work, she called the cops on my babysitters saying that they strangled me when I was sleeping. Needless to say it was just a physical outburst of my mom that truly did the strangling. She's twisted.

  That wasn't all. My dad met some chick when I was 10 years-old and eventually moved in with her. He ended up fighting for full custody of me and my brother but only managed to get me. That was the day when I realized who my real hero was: my dad. He'd always been there for me and my brother. He hated my mom and he knew how we were treated. I would tell him all about it when I came over. That's how he got custody of me. One day, my mom was in a rush to get to work and me and my brother were slow getting ready for school. She got annoyed to the point where she kicked me as I was grabbing my backpack. That's where I said I wanted to live with my dad. In her defense she said, "Fine! I don't care anymore."

  So, here I am now living with my dad at 10 and he marries this chick. I hate this chick. She manipulated my dad. She could practically make him do anything for her. He was an idiot. She had three daughters one of which was from a different guy. And that's where my story begins.

  It's 5th grade and I'm going to Bellair Elementary School. It's a new neighborhood which means new people. I wasn't exactly the sociable type at the time. I used to get bullied at the daycares and even got beat up by sixth-graders and what not. I was practically used to foul treatment. But 5th grade was where everything changed. I got my first girlfriend there who later moved out of state. I made some friends. I spent my life on Everquest. And my dad's relationship built on with his girlfriend to where they married. I went to a councelor for help during this time. That's where I was asked a question that I never could answer, "The day I die..." How do you finish that sentence? That was the question my councelor asked me. "The day I die..." I couldn't answer that. Do I want to die in fame, shame, poverty, guilt, greed? It's just the beginning. I was only 10, there was still so much time for me to go on.

  These were the beginning years of my life. So much has been constrewed. The scary part is that it's all true. But it's how I've become adaptive to this life and how I've become shaped into this man I am today...

  By the way, I was listening to a great song by Breaking Benjamin (Breath).

  Please let me know if you find this blog interesting. I want to write something that people can read and learn from. This is an autobiography of how my life has created me. I don't want to inspire people but rather have them understand that it happens to the best of us. If you think I should continue, I will. I really appreciate all the support you all give. Thanks!

  • Posted Aug 22, 2008 11:38 pm GMT
  • Category: Relationships
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• 26Jul 08

  XLVIII. I'm Done! (Retired)

  I just want to let everyone know that I'm done writing. I'm done trying to contribute. I'm going to step away from my PC and do other things worthy of what I like to call "entertainment." My social value is an utter fail, I hardly have anyone read and appreciate my blogs/writs as is. Why do I continue? Well, I'm finishing up with a thank you to those who did support me. I will still play games but I'm done trying to contribute to communities; my fingers are tired and my head is misguided. So, I bid you all ado.

  • Posted Jul 26, 2008 12:08 am GMT
  • Category: General
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• 22Jul 08

  XLVII. We Grew Up With 'Em

  

  Of course I'm a movie freak. We've all grown up seeing faces and performances by people we become attached to. Whether it be just one character or many, actors are the biggest icons in entertainment. I can't make a list of 50 actors/actresses because I don't really appreciate that many. I know that sounds mean but I've come to realize that there's only so big a group of people of whom I've grown up with. Because of that, I dedicate this list to them and their brilliance behind the big screen.

  #1 Christian Bale

  #2 Ryan Reynolds

  #3 Edward Norton

  #4 Bruce Campbell

  #5 Tom Hanks

  #6 Will Smith
  

  #7 Mark Wahlberg

  #8 Matt Damon

  #9 Jet Li

  #10 Don Cheadle

  #11 Philip Seymour Hoffman

  #12 Anthony Hopkins

  #13 Michael Caine

  #14 Morgan Freeman

  #15 Mel Gibson

  #16 Joaquin Phoenix

  #17 Heath Ledger

  #18 Clive Owen

  #19 Bruce Willis

  #20 Natalie Portman

  Ok, so technically I'm being a hypocrit here but after really thinking about it, there are tons of other actors/actresses I love that I just couldn't place in order. You should all know most, if not all, of them because they're just awesome:

  Forest Whitaker, Brandon Lee, Ewan McGregor, Ethan Hawke, John Cusack, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sean William Scott, Viggo Mortensen, Terrence Howard, Tyrese Gibson, Matt Dillon, Adrien Brody, Jim Carey, Patrick Swayze, Brad Pitt, Harvey Keitel, Paul Giamatti, Djimon Hounsou, Andy Garcia, Richard Gere, Alec Baldwin, James Woods, Antonio Banderas, Kevin Spacey, Eddie Murphy, Harrison Ford, Kevin Costner, Billy Bob Thornton, Geoffrey Rush, Tommy Lee Jones, Samuel Jackson, John Travolta, Michael Keaton, George Clooney, Val Kilmer, Michael Douglas, Russell Crowe, Tim Robbins, Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Clint Eastwood, Robert Duvall, Denzel Washington, Robin Williams, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider...

  Sally Field, Julianne Moore, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Jodie Foster, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nocole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Sigourney Weaver, Geena Davis, Sharon Stone, Hilary Swank, Cameron Diaz, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder, Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Reese Witherspoon, Halle Berry, Helena Bonham Carter, Penelope Cruz, Joan Cusack, Diane Lane, Juliette Lewis, Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Drew Barrymore, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Salma Hayeck, Helen Hunt, Keira Knightley, Demi Moore, Rachel Weisz, Thora Birch, Minnie Driver, Elisabeth Shue, Jennifer Till...

  You get the idea. There's tons of good actors/actresses. I just have a selected few that are my favorites that I like to see. So, yeah... Too many to choose from! Anyways thanks for reading (as always) and comment/reply with your own list of your top 20!

  • Posted Jul 22, 2008 12:08 am GMT
  • Category: Movies
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