Apparently today marks my fourh-year anniversary on GameSpot. It was a good year as always, complete with my new status as a ranger .

I don't have much else to say beyond that. Those of you who want pictures of cats and cakes, you know where to find them .

Actually, I didn't realize that today was the day until about two days ago, when someone asked me when I joined on the How to GameSpot board. Maybe next year I'll remember on my own.

Why do people lurk the Guitar Hero 5 boards just so they can post their opinionated opinion on why, in their opinion, Rock Band is better? (In their opinion)

Why did Capcom make Seth so brutal in Street Fighter IV?

Why do people hate Bing?

Why don't netbook manufacturers realize that many people intend to put Linux on them and don't want to pay for an XP license they won't use?

How did Battlefield 1943 get released with issues like vehicles not being able to drive up hills and griefer-friendly, frustrating allied airplane collision physics?

How long till PAX East arrives?

When will Sony realize that they could charge for their online and people would pay?

Why do I have not one, but two video game ties? (Mario Kart and Sega Genesis)

Why does Splosion Man insult me with its 'Way of the Coward' pop-ups?

What will happen when my 360 RRoDs in the next generation and I don't own the new Xbox?

Why do I end up with more time spent on my handhelds than my console?

Why do people equate colorful graphics (like Wii Sports Resort or The Legend of Zelda:The Wind Waker) with a game being 'kiddy'?

Summer of Arcade on Xbox Live always seemed like a good marketing move to me. Capture people with free time during the summer with several arcade titles and watch the money roll in. The titles were excellent as well, with gems like Braid, Castle Crashers, and Geometry Wars 2.

This year's fare is also respectable, with the excellent Shadow Complex among others, in addition to a promotion for 800 free MS points if you buy all five titles. This puts me in an interesting position.

Shadow Complex is excellent, and I'm definitely picking it up. Trials HD is good, although it should be 800 points, and Splosion Man is also well done. Marvel vs Capcom 2 is more niche, but is a great game, especially since I'm in the process of building a fight stick for Street Fighter IV. But TMNT: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled is a clunker. And I have no interest in the IP.

If it were a good game, this would be a no-brainer, and I'd buy all five. As it is, I have to question my value for the other four, since I'd be getting 800 points for free later. I'll probably end up doing the promotion, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. If only the was Battlefield: 1943, or another quality title.

Yes, these are my opinions, but there's a good deal of tongue-in-cheek humor and silliness. Please don't be offended. This is a humor entry, after all. I promise I'm not trolling .

Computers

Macintosh computers are personal computers.
Yes, Macintosh computers cost more than a comparable machine running Windows, but that's how they make their money. All companies make profits somehow.
The "I'm a Mac" commercials are filled with horribly outdated stereotypes. To a somewhat lesser extent, so are the "Laptop Hunter" commercials.
The Jerry Seinfeld Windows commercials are the best computer ads in recent years.
Linux is not viable for most users. Compatibility and quirks hold it back.
Bing is an excellent search engine and I actually have replaced Google with it in my daily use.
Building a computer is rewarding, inexpensive, and a good use of a weekend.
Piracy is evil both to the industry and to the consumer.

Gaming

Halo 3 is the most overrated game in the last ten years. A short, if fairly well-crafted campaign and slow, unbalanced multiplayer do not make for a particularly excellent shooter.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is slightly overrated. Allowing for the obvious leniency for a game eleven years old, its gameplay does not hold up well.
Wind Waker is the best 3D Zelda game.
Twilight Princess is unremarkable as far as Zelda games go. It was a Gamecube game, and despite being an excellent game for that console, adding motion controls doesn't make it an excellent Wii game.
Team Fortress 2 is the best online shooter currently available, due largely in part to a fun community and surprising balance.
Paying for Xbox Live is bad. The Wii, Playstation 3, and the more online-capable computer (Steam and Games for Windows Live are both free) offer free online play and other services.
If not for the Red Ring of Death, the sales of Microsoft's next console would drop (unless it is not backwards-compatible with the Xbox 360, in which case sales will drop) because people do not want to lose a console they have many games for.

The Internet

Download Cave Story,a free indie game right now, and or buy it when it is released on Wii Ware. RPG fans should also check out Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa.
I cannot force anyone to do this, but please capitalize, punctuate properly, and proofread before you post anywhere except for online game, where time is of the essence.
Shorthand typing is understandable, but I fail to see a purpose in deliberately misspelling words.
Opera is the best browser for big power users, Firefox is best for most users, and if Chrome is for you, then you probably already have it.
RSS is one of the best things ever for both news sources and readers.

The following is accurate to the best of my memory. Yes, really.

carstairs is comfortably resting on his couch while playing Battlefield 1943 on his Xbox 360, talking in a stream of consciousness to himself to relax. The loading screen displays Iwo-Jima.

Console: BZZZT!

Pure white on TV.

carstairs: Not good. At least it didn't Red Ring of Death on me.

Note that he did not knock on wood as he usually does. carstairs hard resets the console and is treated to a frozen boot animation with dotten white lines.

carstairs: Ah, crap. Not good.

carstairs hard resets again, and three flashing lights appear on the Xbox 360.

TV: lol
Xbox 360: roflmao

End scene.

7/31/2007-7/18/2009

Xbox.com refuses to generate a shipping slip (image didn't load in Opera, Firefox, or Internet Explorer), so I have to wait for them to mail me one. And of course they just stopped mailing coffins. This will seriously affect my decision to purchase the next Microsoft console, especially considering that I own a gaming PC.

Oh well. Time to watch DVDs on the PS2.

These DVDs arrived in the mail today. Soulcalibur II? True Crime: Streets of LA? Half-Life 2? Time for a trip down memory lane!

Yup. Minimal Internet, so I will only be on a few times in between now and then.

Looking forward to some of the best coffee I've ever found...

This weekend I have finally been able to install the Windows 7 release candidate on my computer. I'd actually downloaded it yesterday, but my paltry 700 MB CDs aren't big enough for the ISO, so I had to go to Office Depot today and pick up some 4.7 GB DVDs. In place upgrade from Vista worked fine, though I've been spoiled by quick and easy Ubuntu installations, and had to wait several hours for it to finish. Here's the new desktop:

(It has letterboxing because I have two displays, one of which is smaller than the other)

Windows 7 is excellent. Many nice UI tweaks, particularly in the taskbar.

Additionally, I have a new sticker for my PC case:

Crappy cell phone picture.

Bing. The sticker is for sheer awesome, but I'm undecided on the service. I'm still using Google, though I like Bing's cash back, which I'll definitely be using. Oh, that's Zune software. Points for recognizing albums.

Microsoft!

(The setting is a large auditorium, filled with every game designer from both the past and present (had it not been for technological limitations, the future would have been included as well). These audience members are talking amongst themselves, wondering why they have been called here.)

carstairs walks to the podium.

carstairs: I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all here today.

(Nods and other affirmations.)

carstairs: The reason you are all locked in this room (Immediate confusion and protest) is for a seminar on basic game design. Specifically, game saves.

(A general outcry. carstairs fires a six-cylinder revolver into the ceiling, and the designers stop immediately. carstairs breaks the gun with his bare hands and tosses it aside.)

In one of Douglas Adams's books, a group of people were described as those who would be first against the wall when the revolution comes. Incidentally, every one of the armed guards surrounding the seven exits is a gamer who has lost data due to poor design choices.

Shigeru Ohmori, you and the Pokemon staff are free to go, as even with ridiculous glitching that should have ****ed my game to hell and back, Pokemon keeps two copies of a save at all times in case it needs to revert to an older one.

Now as for the rest of you...

(Curtain.)

Street Fighter IV has just joined the ranks of the numerous games that have lost their saved data on me. It joins the ranks of Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town, and many more.

Is it still too much to ask for a failsafe for our hours of hard work?!

A rogue aluminum foil container has mutilated my finger, letting my epidermis travel in more diverse directions than nature intended.

I admit, I just wanted to write that. Although Guitar Hero is now rather painful.

I'm now the owner of a Zune, so check out my profile here (it's linked with my Gamertag). Send me a request if you have one.

Finally, I'm buying a copy of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin. Time to see where the series went, even if I love broken gameplay and overpwered units.

For those of you wondering where the last three Fives are, the lists are made. But my text editor was acting up. I've solved the issue, however, so expect them up soon.

Games are glorified systems that can respond to inputs. But those inputs have to come from somewhere, and to skip a few steps, it's a controller. This week's five contains the five greatest video game controllers.

5 Wii Remote and Nunchuk
Not only is the Wii Remote the best example of motion controls in gaming, but it represents a schism in game design. Nintendo has alienated itself by being innovative, though how this plays out will be seen.

The Wii Remote is comfortable, a comfortable weight, and its motion-sensing functions work well (when games can keep up). It's main issue is a lack of buttons. One joystick and four buttons (each assuming the Nunchuk is attached) limit the interface severely. While versatile (turning sideways for a steering wheel or as a NES-like controller), the Wii Remote is far from perfect. But Wii MotionPlus, an add-on with powerful spatial awareness should aid the controller's usefulness.

4 Guitar Hero III Les Paul
Of the SG, Xplorer, Les Paul, and generic official Guitar Hero controllers, the Les Paul stands out. (What, no guitar grip? - Ed.) The SG felt like a rough draft, the Xplorer's buttons were too far apart, and the generic was more "change for the sake of change," and the general consensus is that the touch strip is good for little more than funny noises. The Les Paul's wireless freedom, subtle styling, and solid performance make it a winner.

3 Xbox 360 Wireless Controller
The definitive wireless controller. Plenty of buttons, good analog sticks, and great ergonomics. It's much better than the abominable "Duke" controller for the original Xbox. Its Achilles Heel is battery life, however. It's short and flashes its warning even when 3/4 bars are available (ignoring it leads to inevitable frustration). Nonetheless, someone deserves a raise for design here.

2 Keyboard and Mouse
I'll be blunt: the keyboard and mouse are the best way to control most games, especially first-person shooters and real-time strategy games. In front of me I have $130 invested in my keyboard, mouse, and mousepad, which is fairly tame by high-end standards. (Before someone asks, Razer Lycosa, Salmosa, and Goliathus respectively. I like Razer.)

Keyboards have 104 keys, and many keyboards are capable of recording macros, where one key press can be many, with details such as repeating, timing, and simultaneous hits. Mice are fast and accurate. Sniper rifles are almost always more threatening in the PC version of games than the console one. But some games, like racing or platformers, just work better with a standard controller.

1 WaveBird
Ah, the WaveBird. Take everything great about the original purple lunchbox's controller and make it wireless. Buttons are sufficient in number, triggers are springy, and the Gamecube's analog stick is the best one in existence.

Sadly, no one can tell you how good the Wavebird is. You must experience it.

/The Matrix Reference

Sure, we can all wait for Duke Nuke 'em Forever and Pokemon Platinum, but some die-hard fans will wait for that which probably isn't ever going to come. This week's Five focuses on these message board-filling hypotheticals.

5 A Starfox Like Starfox 64
Star Fox 64 was a remarkable game. Over-the-top dialogue, unique levels, and excellent replay value (And the Rumble Pak! If any of you remember that Nintendo Power video introducing it...oh, good times. - Ed.) made it a memorable N64 must-have.

But dinosaurs, third-person shooting, and strategy and Nintendo still won't give us another straight-up Star Fox.

Of course, to get with the times, some updates would need to be made. Online play and full 3D space battles would be huge (think opening scene of The-Star-Wars-That Must-Not-Be-Named [Episode III {Triple enclosures, woo!}]). Minor upgrades, same stellar gameplay.

4 Crackdown 2
Crackdown was an unexceptional, short, and easy game. But its open world setting had all the toys needed for a healthy dose of make-your-own fun. Crackdown 2 would need two major changes: being an actually decent game and more things to play with.

Becoming a better game isn't too difficult for Crackdown. First off, it needs to base as much of itself on The Matrix as possible. The parallels are clear, and it could learn a thing or two from it. Second, a fuller world. While Crackdown's city was of a decent size, it lacked almost any interiors or tasks to do. A world like one from Grand Theft Auto's would be more entertaining. Finally, more mission variety. Jump around, shoot rockets, and shoot some more gets old fast (but oddly enough, not when just fooling around).

More toys are also needed. More balanced weapons, helicopters, boats, motorcycles, and Matrix-esque moves (wall running and flips stand out) would make one of the greatest sandbox games ever.

(Whether or not this game is in development is unclear, but I should certainly hope so! - Ed.)

3 Another Good Sonic Game
Zing!

Return to 2D, simple controls, and Robotnik. For something so formulaic, why does Sonic Team torture us so?

To be completely fair, I enjoyed Sonic Heroes, but I digress. I miss Sonic 3.

2 Golden Sun 3
For a series that did a pretty good job of wrapping up loose ends, people sure do want another Golden Sun. The best RPG's on the Gameboy Advance featured impressive graphics, a compelling story, and pure RPG goodness.

Which is exactly why the world wants another. Both Golden Sun games were polished, refined experiences. They're a thesis statement.

1 Super Smash Bros. (DS)
Give it the Mario Kart treatment! Online play, a mix of new and old, and I will never leave my DS again. It just makes sense to do. If the N64 could do it, then the DS can. A hybird between the original, Melee, and Brawl is all we ask. Why must we suffer?

Then again, I'm waiting for all of these games. Patiently. I can dream.

---
carstairs's subwoofer is going to explode if he keeps maxing it out with bass boost from his sound card.

Some games are better than others. Some are prettier. Some have better musical scores. But some were more influential.

It's no secret that games can be inspired by (or just downright copy) other games. This week's Five focuses on the games that had the guts to try something new that worked, and then influenced many other games.

5 Guitar Hero
Harmonix's original toy-guitar masterpiece sent the world a message: it's cool to jam on this pint-sized, multicolored toy (I would certainly hope so, for my sake!). Featuring an impressive, if small by the latest games' standard, setlist, Guitar Hero's synchronized button-pressing and bar-pushing layed the groundwork for numerous imitators. Guitar Hero switching developers from Harmonix hasn't hurt the franchise, partly due to copy-paste gameplay and formulaic design, but the acceptance of goofy controllers is the most important legacy of Guitar Hero (right, Wii?).

4 Pokemon Red/Blue
I'm sure many of us have played a Pokemon game at one point or another. Nintendo sells millions of copies of each of each generation of Pokemon games, and the generally-present third game bolsters figures even further (not to mention an anime, trading card game, manga, and movies).

Pokemon has always been an incredibly complex game with an active competitive community. But its JRPG roots still remain strong. Catch/train/battle games are still all the rage on handhelds, primarily due to addictiveness. Ask a die-hard Pokemon player how much time they have on Diamond or Pearl; several hundred hours is common.

3 Super Mario 64
Again, memories. Mario survived the switch from 2D to 3D with styIe (Oh, how I wish Sonic could say the same). This is still the platformer to judge a game against. Colorful, expansive worlds, varied challenges, and an upbeat, well-composed score combine for an experience that oh-so-many games have copied. With good reason, I might add.

2 Half-Life 2
PC, Xbox, Xbox 360, PS2, PS3. If you own one of these consoles, you owe it to yourself to pick up Half-Life 2. This game is something else. But I'm not here to tell you how amazing it is.

Half-Life 2 has three main elements that are commonly used. The first is its use of atmosphere. Battling various types of zombies while running out of flashlight battery and conserving ammo (all within a beautifully constructed destroyed town) is one of many examples of its attention to detail. While it might seem like a stretch, Half-Life 2's combination of elements for its atmosphere is used in countless shooters (Halo: Combat Evolved's sections involving the Flood are an excellent example. Note: It has come to my attention that I mixed up my chronology here; Half-Life, then Halo, then Half-Life 2. The example holds up the same, however.).

Another element is seamless integration of plot and gameplay. Small objects, passing lines, and other minute details convey a complex, twisting plot while not boring the player. No cutscenes and the player and the protagonists adventures being identical also help.

Finally, the shotgun. The shotgun was 100% awesome, and happens to be made of pure, undiluted win. Ragdolls go flying away, objects explode, and the ability to fire both barrels at once make for the definitive shotgun.

1 Super Mario Bros.
Take a look at a side-scrolling platformer. It owes its design to Super Mario Bros. This game is more influential for a different reason, however. This brought gaming to the world. At the very least, we're all familiar with its music (Doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo - Ed.). Its influence is every game ever created.

Cheesy, but that's how I'm going out.

---
carstairs has a Ph.D. in Awesomeness and is thus under the impression that he has the authority to tell us all how to think.

As mentioned on New Year's day, I have a surprise. I'm running the blog equivalent of a pilot.

The Five will be a list of five things, concepts, people, or whatever other classifications of nouns or other subsets of the vernacular tickle my fancy. Each week will be a different topic, staying roughly around the topics of games and technology and the five best/worst/other qualification for it. So, here's a basic one to get us all (myself included) into this. Next week I'll be looking into additions to the format (depending on how much HTML wants to cooperate), but after that it should begin to form a pattern.

Most of us are here on GameSpot because we enjoy video games. But enjoying them is easier said than done. And how exactly do we enjoy a video game, carstairs?

5 Play on a Higher or Lower Difficulty
This is something I've done for years, if not consciously. Games tend to frustrate or bore me easily, but only a few games have ever hit the sweet-spot in difficulty. When given the option to choose difficulty, I'll generally only play on the default once. After completing single-player, I either raise or lower the difficulty. This continues until I'm content.

I started playing the Guitar Hero franchise during Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. I began on Medium difficulty, worked my way to Hard, and then Expert. Now, anythign less than Expert difficulty bores me, but Expert provides the challenge I need. While this progression might seem logical, many are content on Hard, Medium, or Easy.

But the converse is also true. In Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance (Gamecube), I play on the Easy difficulty. Quite happily. The story and top-notch gameplay entertain me while offering enough of a challenge so as not to bore me. It's not that I'm bad; my first playthrough was fine on Normal. I just prefer lower difficulties. Less stress=more enjoyment.

4 Get Better Sound
My TV's sound is mediocre. And I don't have the money to put into some nice speakers. But I do have headphones. Upon putting in my headphones and running a dozen feet of wire across the room, I found out about the entire world of audio I've been missing.

From background music I'd never heard to voices in the distance, better sound introduced a new side to the games I've known and loved for ages.

But my computer has excellent 2.1 speakers with a gaming-grade sound card (set to give a few extra decibels of bass). Being able to feel explosions? That's immersion.

3 Play with Friends, Not Strangers
In general, I dislike playing online. While gameplay is alright, I've heard too many children whose vocabulary consists primarily of profanity to play online often. Muting them all is fine and dandy, but griefers, bad teammates, and more can still disrupt gameplay (I have found a few great communities, though, including Team Fortress 2 on rhe PC).

I'll be old and talk about Rock Band, which came out over a year ago. That was the original "jam with friends" game that refined social gaming to its core essence. Gaming's fun with friends. Besides, they don't give me negative rep for winning. [My feedback's pretty bad on Xbox Live, which is impressive for someone who doesn't use a mic - Ed.]

2 Get a Comfy Couch/Chair
'Nuff said.

No, I can't get away that easily. But I've strained my neck enough to be able to speak from experience. The key is to forget that you're sitting so that the game can take over your senses. I generally recline or sit at attention, but either way, I make sure that I don't notice, in a somewhat contradictory way.

1 Play Old Games
Go Find a the first video game you loved, and start a new file.

Trust me: you'll be happy you did.

I'm typing this with three minutes, so I'll keep it quick. But I'm posting the second it hits. Three resolutions:

1 Finish up the emblems guide. Blame me for not having a new Welcome Newbies one. Don't worry, it won't take all year .

2 Do some more community service .

3 You'll all see Sunday .

Happy New Year to you all!

Hot for Teacher is significantly harder without the handicap from playing it as an encore in Guitar Hero World Tour. I've beaten it without the luxury, however, by utilising this strategy:
1 Play descending intro with three fingers.
2 Slide right hand over fret buttons in time with the music. Yes, slide on the Les Paul.
3 Play normally with the insanity, transition right hand back to strum bar in anticipation.
4 ???
5 Profit
Sadly, it's only a little bit harder than Cliffs of Dover, in my opinion, which disappoints me. It's still fun though.

The Tool gig was awful and repetitive.

Bands needed in Guitar Hero:
Radiohead
Pavement
Cake

Every option for hair looks awful. I settled on the a the shortest non-buzz hair (which the game designates as "emo") and a fisherman's hat. Also, I chose not to wear shoes.

The Music Studio needs chords and hammer-ons on both lead and rhythm. Splitting them was a terrible move.

That said, the chords that aren't melodic are great for breakdowns.

I need a 16 gigabyte flash MP3 player with video support, good battery life, and excellent audio quality (preferably with an equalizer). And I dislike Apple.

Enter the NWZ-A729 (the names of the product line make sense, but that doesn't mean they're good). I'll be purchasing one within the next few months.

The music in Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden (a free JRPG for computers) is awesome. And the game is just as funny. If you like Final Fantasy, take a look.

I got Guitar Hero: World Tour a few days ago, and have finally begun to really be able to play it. I have the game only, but I'm using the Les Paul from GHIII and have the GH:WT drums and mic in the mail.

The setlist starts out weakly, but about midway, some great songs showed up. Very few songs irritated me this time (never mention Raining Blood to me, by the way), but the three that stand out as most difficult would have to be Overkill, BYOB, and Hot for Teacher. But even those fell to five minutes in practice mode and repeated attempts. Overall, the difficulty feels lower than Guitar Hero III's, for better or for worse. But drums (and singing) should provide a nice change of pace.

I'm very pleased with the game thus far. I have a few gigs I skipped in guitar career before that's done, but after that, it's probably online and Team Fortress 2 until the new instruments arrive. Luckily, it's a good time of year to have company .

Happy holdiays to all .