• 2Jan 10

  it's 2010, and i'm 24

  It's hard for me to believe that i'm 24 years old. i'm a year older and not a penny richer. I find birthdays to be highly depressing for me. Makes me feel one step closer to my life ending. Perhaps it's just my extremely dim outlook on life that i always have.

  And will always have. Every year, i listen to this song, it gives me hope, and makes me depressed at the same time.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZODMaH7R3Es

  I am expecting birthday fursona pics from a couple of you (you know who you are), I hope you all followed through.

  • Posted Jan 2, 2010 9:06 am GMT
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• 27Dec 09

  special little gifts

  Christmas was a lot better this year. I didn't have enough money so i could only get each person in my family one gift.

  My sister actually got more more stuff this year than she ever has before. I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that i pretty much disowned her after she got drunk and bit my mom in the face. She must have figured it and thought that she could use money to redeem herself. She got me some long purple coat from tripp, a black hoody from iron fist, a Charlie the unicorn journal *facepaw*, and a tripp button up black shirt with a zipper over the pocket.

  My mom got me some shirts from the shrine, one of my favorite clothing lines, and Tim (my mom's boyfriend) got me some expensive cologne, a tote bag with skulls on it, and a box with beers from around the world.

  • Posted Dec 27, 2009 8:10 pm GMT
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• 23Dec 09

  losing interest in video games.

  for the 4th year in a row, i have spent more money on music than on video games. i can't even begin to calculate how much i've spent on CDs and concert tickets.

  Anyway, over the last few years, i've been gaming less and less, if i'm on your xbox live friends list, you'll notice i'm not online much anymore. and if i'm in a party, i hardly ever talk. I've never been the social type, i prefer single player campaigns over co op, and I have completely dropped out of competitivegaming. No more head to head gaming for me. I was always a terrible player anyway.

  I finally threw in the towel on oblivion tonight. I know it's a great game, and I do regard it as a game of the year title, which it fully deserves, but i just can't handle it anymore. over the last few days i spent up to 45 minutes fighting single enemies. Not realizing there's something i have to do differently to defeat them. I advanced way too far into the game to simply start over. I'm constantly asking people what to do and how to resolve things. Only to be told i need to go here and do this. Which requires a lot of backtracking and other tedious drudgeries. Or i can't advance any further until i found out what i need to get. It's annoying because i want to play. Certainly i'm not going to say it sucks just because i'm playing it wrong. I'm not that immature. If you like it that's fine with me.

  I'm not a collector, or a strategist. I'm someone that just likes to go in and kill things and get it over with. I hate having to read through walls of text online or in a strategy guide to find out i need all these items or something won't work. I have stopped playing so many RPGs in the past because of little things that prevent me from killing something, or getting somewhere, and me never figuring it out. I still to this day never beat final fantasy 8. I even had someone come over to my house once to try and beat a boss battle for me that i'd spent months on and he couldn't do it because i "leveled up the characters and summons incorrectly."

  It's unfortunate though. I like to roleplay. I like to assume the role of something i'm not. Maybe it comes from my miniscule self esteem. But that is really why i've never been into RPGs. I just don't like to organize andstrategist.

  I'm also getting annoyed with a lot of the gaming people. Certainly not all people. But a great deal. Like people who elevate their personal selves onto a golden pedestal and engrave their gamertag for all eternity because they got every achievement in a game. xbox live achievements and PS3 trophies have no monetary value. Such boastfulness is trivial and unjust. i'm not MLG. If an achievement is there for the taking, i'll gladly take it. But it requires hours of tedious gameplay, forget it.

  Hell, i even felt like throwing my controller at the wall during Banjo Kazooie nuts and bolts. that's how easy i get frustrated. I'd rather not talk about that.

  All in all, Given how easily i get frustrated, it goes without saying i will always prefer music over video games.

  • Posted Dec 23, 2009 9:44 pm GMT
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