In case you haven't read the first part, I suggest youu go here.
Okay, here is the second part of my blog about retarded looking monsters in movies. I said I would feature 7 more, but I've decided to include an additional 8 as there was one more I thought looked pretty stupid enough to be in the blog. Are are some I feel I could have made better choice with but I'm overall satisfied. Here we go.
8. The Creeping Terror (1964)
The Creeping Terror is one of the worst movies I've seen in my life and made another great episode of MST3K. Its not just the monster that illustrates the badness of the movie, everything else. The narration dubbed over dialogue of characters (apparently to replace the soundtrack that was supposedly thrown into a lake), the lackluster directing, horrible editing and really cheesy music that tries too hard to be over-dramatic. The highlight of this gem has to be the monster itself. It has been described by many as being a carpet monster and I'd say that sums it up well. Imagine a bunch of shag carpets sown together and dumped over a group of drunken college students (kinda like those Chinese dragons) along with the front which looks to be a cross between male and female genitalia (I wont get moderated for that, will I?). The monster is supposedly an alien thats landed on earth from its landing ship (just reversed stock footage of a missile taking off) in a peaceful Nevada countryside to devour everyone in sight, including a bikini-clad teenager at a picnic, a fat grandpa and his son, and the ENTIRE community of a dance hall (where a random fight breaks out for no reason while the monster attacks everyone). The worst part however, is the way it eats people. Not only does the thing move so SLOW that its victims have to stand there screaming at it, but the victims have to CLIMB their way into the monsters mouth and simulate kicking and screaming along the way. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. This is literally how the monster eats people! The victims literally feed themselves to it! And you want to know how they get killed in the end? One gets killed by a grenade and the other gets run over by a car. Yeah, thats it, yet it managed to eat dozens of people who were too stupid not to run away. Theres also a classic scene where its humping the back of a car to try and eat the victims inside. It doesn't get any worse than this people, I kid you not.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyAfEhZO974
9. Robot Monster (1953)
Another movie considered the worst of its kind and featured on MST3K, Robot Monster has a pretty straight forward narrative. A family and a few scientists are the only remaining people on earth after the monstrous Ro-Man as managed to destroy nearly every human on earth. I just want to ask you question, does this thing look robot to you? The only "robot" I'm seeing is that stupid looking helmet. Other than that, its just some guy in a gorilla suit with a metal robotic helmet on its head. They were originally going to have a robotic suit but due to budget limitations they made the odd decision to use George Barrow's (the guy playing the monster) gorilla suit and stick a helmet on it, and there you have a so-called "robot monster". Yeah, I dont think so.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h2QJ44HnrM
10. It Conquered The World (1956)
Now THIS is a bizarre one! In a rare occurrence, this movie actually features the lead monster being helped by a human, a scientist who is unaware of it's pure evil! Another Roger Corman flick, and another one that made in onto MST3K, this movie features one of the weirdest looking monsters you'll ever see. Its not as bad as Creature from the Haunted Sea but it still looks pretty stupid, like its been made out of cardboard or wood or something. It looks like a giant potato sprout, or turnip, or carrot or whatever. The way it moves its arms is very awkward as well. This monster cracks me up alot though. The evil expression on its face is absolutely priceless, and it's mouth does actually move a bit. I'll admit this monster has a very cool design to it face-wise, but it just looks so awkwardly put together that I had to mention it.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hPwxwtuu9w
11. Blood Freak (1972)
Blood Freak has to be one of the weirdest films I have ever seen. This old grindhouse flick basically tries to promote an anti-drug pro-christian message but still featuring excessive scenes of gore along the way. Its a film about a Vietnam-war biker called Herschel who after smoking pot for the first time in his life, gets a job at a turkey farm and takes part in an experiment in which he eats some chemically modified turkey meat, resulting in him passing out and waking up as super bloodthirsty turkey-headed mutant! He goes around murdering some potheads in the most violent ways, like hanging them upside down and slitting their throats or sawing their legs off with power tools. The turkey head looks incredibly fake and more like it was made with playdough, along with ping-pong balls for eyes again. The blood, like typical splatter films of the era looks really fake and more like red paint. The most bizarre part of the movie is when Herschel (as a turkey mutant) gets decapitated after begging for mercy for no reason, then it SUDDENLY cuts to actual stock footage of some poor turkey running around and with its head chopped off. Then Herschel wakes up as a normal human being and realises the whole thing was just a bad acid trip, then everything goes back to normal. Weak. And film also opens and closes with the director explaining how drugs are bad even through he is smoking himself.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq9A3kZdy00(Warning: extreme scenes of gore!)
12. Its Alive! (1969)
Here is a very cheesy horror movie by schlock filmmaker Larry Buchanan, who produced several Z-grade made-for-TV flicks that were remakes of older movies of American International Pictures in the 1950s. Many of these were notorious for being of low-quality, featuring bad acting and horrible special effects. Its Alive! of course, is no different. The monster has the typical features of a goofy movie monster. No facial expressions, silly ping-pong ball eyes and the fake rubber head. Its not the worst ever made but it still looks really stupid. In this movie, the monster is supposed to be a giant aquatic dinosaur that a paleontologist feeds his victims to, despite having very little resemblance to what one would consider a dinosaur. Since this monster was also used in a Bunchanan's Creature of Destruction (remake of The She Creature), they clearly couldn't be bothered making a new one that looked more reptilian than amphibian so they just lazily reused the monster suit from that movie. It is implied that the "dinosaur" is 80-feet tall, but you never really get that feeling since its clearly just a guy in a cheap rubber suit. Enough of this, time to move on.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jw7HDe4OtbY(long video, could not find shorter clip or trailer)
13. Monster-A-Go-Go (1966)
Monster-a-Go-Go is a truly awful film. And I dont mean it in the so bad its good kinda way either. Its just really, really awful. Extremely painful to watch. Even watching in on MST3K was hard. Its a film where NOTHING happens. Nothing whatsoever. A strung-together piece of random events that make no sense. Its supposed to be about an astronaut named Frank Douglas who has returned to earth and been effected by radiation, turning him into a 6-foot tall monster that attacks people around Chicago. The monster if you can even call it that is really just a very tall guy with peanut butter smeared all over his face. A very sorry excuse for a monster if you ask me. The monster is only seen on-screen for about a minute or two. The rest of the movie drags on and on and makes no sense whatsoever. Not to mention that characters disappear halfway through the film. This kinda makes sense though since one director (Bill Rebane) filmed the first half of it but didn't have enough money to finish it and then another director (Herschel Gordon Lewis) picked it up and added more footage but wasnt able to track down some of the original actors. He should have just left this piece of garbage the way it was so it wouldnt have to be unleashed upon the world in its pure awfulness. The biggest insult is the ending in which everyone is getting ready to stop the monster (this also drags on) but then it just disappears for no reason. Its revealed that Frank Douglas was rescued in the North Atlantic, and the monster never existed in the first place. That was a big "screw you" to the audience, totally. Some bad movies do have redeeming factors. Monster-a-Go-Go however has NONE whatsoever. Just pathetic. Sorry if this seemed more like a review of the movie itself than an analysis of the monster but this movie is so horrible I felt I had to get my anger out.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD2yrLUzvbA(MST3K stingers, monster is at 1:34)
14. From Hell It Came (1957)
In this 1957 horror flick, after a South Seas island price is stabbed in the chest, nuclear radiation resurrects him as a murderous walking tree stump! Out of all the monsters on his list, I will say that this is at least the most original. It looks pretty cool in general but moves around very awkward though, therefore earning a place on this list. However, it is not as bad as some others on this list. Overall, a good idea, but not the best execution.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiP6W0ZCQRg
15. Torg from Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
I think we can all agree that a movie with a ridiculous title like "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" is going to be a horrible piece of garbage. That being said, this is probably one of the worst Christmas films ever made. Yes, it was obviously aimed at kids but its hard not to point out the flaws. There were actually two ridiculous monsters in this film. One was a really fake looking polar bear costume (obviously a guy in a cheap suit) and of course the robot Torg (very similar to Torgo, coincidence?). This robot has got to be the cheapest looking thing I've ever seen! You'd honestly find better production values at a school play! It looks to be made out of whatever cheap materials they could find. As Crow in MST3K said, it pretty much looks like a guy in a "cardboard box with a coffee urn on his head". I remember some Year 3 kid in my old school made a life-size robot and I can tell you it looked WAY better and somewhat more realistic than this thing! Quite funny how later in the movie, Santa turns him into a toy, even though he looks like a toy to begin with. Well like I said I've actually seen toy robots that look more realistic. Well maybe this was just a typical depiction of a robot at the time so maybe I guess I'm nitpicking too much.
Monster in Action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZhLH-5fws
So there you have it. 15 of the dumbest monsters you've ever seen, though I don't think Torgo counts since he was mostly human though a satyr at best, at least he was supposed to be. Tell me out of this list you thought was the sillest looking, and I'm aware that there's dozens of bad movie monsters out there. This was simply to discuss my favourite ones. If there's anymore you thought looked dumb but weren't on this list, tell me and I MAY consider doing a third part. Until then, hope you enjoyed reading.
I think for me 'It's Alive' is actually the hardest to get through although I suppose some of that may be because I grew up watching most of the other films so I'm more used to them. 'Blood Freak' is one of my slightly newer favorite all-time awful films, and although some of that may be just because the concept and its very pedigree is so incredibly bizarre, having scenes like his girlfriend quickly going from shock of her turkey-headed boyfriend to wondering what their children would look like is just priceless stuff. I think my newest favorite discovery was 'Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster' from 1965 I think which is just awesomely fun stuff. Great list!
@Lord_Daemon Yeah, I read that you were a fan of Blood Freak on The Film Appreciation Board. Thanks for commenting though!
I think I've seen quite a few of these films before and I've got to say the monsters did look cheap, but at least they tried unlike some of today's low budget monsters that look quite silly using cheap CGi.
Pretty much any black and white movie that tries to include a monster of some kind turns out bad because of the lack of special effects or decent costume designers. Personally I don't watch old movies, but these are some seriously horrible movie monsters nonetheless lol
@Venom_Raptor The best monsters in old movies usually had stop-motion or more effort put into the costumes. These flicks however had very low-budgets resulting in some pretty sorry looking beasts.