Before I get to the meat of this blog I want to get a few things straight. It's not that I have some sort of guilty conscience its just that I want there to be no misunderstanding with my views or my intentions towards my Gamespot blog.

1. I don't hate the people who practice an organized religion. My best friend on Gamespot, my friends in real life, my parents and even my girlfriend who I love more than anything in this world have a particular religious tilt.

2. The points that I make are not out of some self-righteous, sanctimonious view of the world. They are put out there as a method of getting to understand other people's views since they're not my own.

3. Unless there is some huge shift in my own personal views towards Gamespot or the people who frequent it, I will no longer be writing any editorials to be posted in the User Soapbox section of the site.

Ok, with all that said let me start point by point. I don't hate organized religion or the people who practice it. Like I've said time and time again organized religion just doesn't happen to be for me. I have taken much time to examine my own views and put them against the views espoused by organized religion and no matter how I try to make them fit they just won't. Does this mean that organized religion is bad? No, of course no. It just means that it's not for me.

I realize that at times that I've appeared to attack those who hold on to certain beliefs and while I can't say that it was an accident I wanted it stated clearly for the record that I don't hold any ill will towards anyone. The whole point of any blog posting is to get people to explain their beliefs.

If you honestly hold your beliefs to be true then asking you to explain them should not seem like an attack on them. It's my honest belief that anyone who holds their beliefs so strong that any attempt to get an explanation as to the reasons why they hold them so and have it turn into an attack on me as the questioner is much more of a statement of a lack of firm conviction than it is an attack of their belief structure. If you honestly believe something that you've come to a firm grasp through your own soul searching then you should have no problem explaining why you believe what you believe. Any querry as to the reasons why you believe what you do that you take as an attack on your belief structure just shows that you might not be as fervernt a believer as you might like to portray.

Like I stated on that one blog that involved the whole "tell Gamespot 5 things they don't know about you" I stated that my blog postings where more about fostering discussion than they were about espousing my own personal beliefs. The name of this blog, afterall, is "Controversy Creates Comments". Now, does this mean that at no point are my own personal views leaked through the questions that I ask? Of course not. Any intelligent person can more or less put the pieces together to discover what my own personal beliefs are in life. The other thing that comes from an intelligent examination of my blog postings is that very rarely are my blog postings a blatant disrepectful attack on certain belief structures. Granted, there are people that my barbs are more aimed at than others but those people who face my written venom are usually the people who have aimed their own bile at me. Does that make it right? No, but for a bunch of people who believe in "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" I feel like its only fair.

So what this basically comes down to is the this:

I am done attempting to foster discussion with an audience that seems more content to call you names than engage in an serious and fruitful discussion.

I am done asking questions of people who would rather label a person who gives dissenting opinion than answer a question honestly.

I am done attempting to get people to see beyond the bubble in which they've been raised to look at the world in a much bigger picture.

I am done writing Soapbox posts only to get responses along the lines of, "Man, they'll put anything on the Soapbox" from people who've been trying for a year to get their emblem to no avail and are such, bitter and pathetic in their criticism. If your editorial post is so profound then why are my pointless musings on there and your Earthshatteringly brilliant writings left off? Oh yeah, I forgot, Gamespot is against you, but for some reason loves my "mindless" banter. Get a grip. The fact is that your mother is not the one who judges what gets on and what doesn't so when it comes to an objective determination of what's Soapbox worthy and whats not, you lose and you can't take it. Sorry.

Don't worry, wannabe Soapbox writers, there is now one more spot for you to take. If there is a way of giving my Soapbox emblem back then all someone at Gamespot needs to do is read this. Take it, I don't want it. It was cool for a while but now its more hassle than its worth. The majority of the people who read my posts would rather call me names than engage in intelligent conversation. Once my spot is up for grabs lets hear your excuses then.

"Oh.... wahhhh, someone else who can form complete sentences and writes better than me has an emblem and I'm still left in the dark... MOOOOOMMMMM! These guys won't give me my Soapbox emblem!"

Good luck, future Soapbox writer. Let's see how long your profound writings hold up under the scrutiny of getting 1000 views a day. Its easy to say that your writings are great when the same 20 people read them every day. Let's see how you do when they're out for everyone to see and when other people who are products of "No Child Left Behind" start to critique your work and say you can't write worth a damn.

Frankly, I have better things to do with my life. I have a job to enjoy, creative endeavours to conquer, friends to hang out with, a family to love, a girlfriend to adore and two children to help raise. Like a lot of people who got their Soapbox emblem, I got a little full of myself and lost track of what's important. I've come to realize that my self-worth is not determined by any emblem on Gamespot so, in the name of waking the hell up and smelling the roses, I don't give a crap anymore. Take it, I don't want it.

This is not about me whining about wanting to take my ball and go home because I had a great ride. Let me tell you why.

I met some really intelligent people.
I was involved in a lot of really great discussions.
I wrote well enough for quite a few people (250+) to track me and for that I am eternally grateful.
I also got a lot of attention (66,000+ views since I got my emblem) and for that I am also eternally grateful.

Now, my time has passed.

I want to let one of the whiny douchbags who is constantly saying, "My developmentally disabled nephew could write better than this" to give it a shot. Just keep one thing in mind: If my writing is so terrible and the bar for Soapbox entries is so low that even I have one, how bad must your writing be?

In the name of being fair, let me give you a few little tips...

1. Finishing each word that you want to pluralize with a "z" does not make you look smart or cool.
2. Its not as easy as it looks.

You're welcome.

So with that, I wish you, wannabe Soapbox writer, good luck and God speed...

I can't wait to read your mindblowing musings and leave you comments. Lets see how you like it... if you can manage to get an emblem.

Laughlyn

Let's take 100 game developers and divide them into five groups and we'll break them down like this:

Group A - 33 people
Group B - 21 people
Group C - 18 people
Group D - 16 people
Group E - 12 people

Now, let's say that Group A comes out and says that they are the only ones who know how to make a game correctly and that all the other groups should follow what they do or be subjected to ridicule or the loss of their jobs.

If you're in any of the other groups you're probably sitting there saying, "Who the hell do these Group A people think they are? We know how to make games just fine. Who says there's a 100% certified way to make games? Who decided that Group A's way was the right way? Why does the way that's right for them automatically have to be right for everyone? Because they're the biggest company?"

Group A's response could be something along the lines of, "Well, we were told that ours was the right way by the people who taught us how to develop a game."

Any of the other groups' response would be something along the lines of, "You think you're the only ones who think that their way was the right way?"

So, who's way is the right way? Group A because they're the biggest? Group B,C,D, or E because they've heard the same lesson from their teachers? Everyone? No one?

The answer is everyone and no one. Right and wrong are not the black and white issue that some people think they are. They are a matter of perspective. What's right for one company might not be right for another. The idea that one company has the market cornered on correct game design is simply a falacy and telling people that your way is right and their way is wrong is arrogance at its worst. Does anyone disagree with me?

Now, lets change the groups from game developers to religions and their views on game design to views on how to live your life. Does the analogy lose any credibility? No. The same rules still apply. What might be right for one group might not be right for another and telling people that their way is wrong still screams of arrogance.

There was a lot of hub-bub in the last week in relation to the "morality" of Grand Theft Auto IV. There were plenty of people calling GTAIV "immoral" and projecting that view onto the people that played the game. Now, I have no problem with the people who think the game is "immoral" as that judgement is derived from their own personal perspective. What I do have a problem with is the labeling that came of the game and the people who played it.

Just because you think something doesn't make it so for everyone. You might think the game is "immoral" and that is your right to express it. What is not right is the fact that you get to make judgements of the people who play that game because they don't share your views.

Yes, I know sticks and stones blah blah blah but still. Imagine how you would feel if the people who you cast as "immoral" for playing a game started calling you, "lemmings" for doing what you're told in lockstep with a belief structure that you had no part in founding or input as to its current stances on issues. You'd be mad and justifiably so. What makes you special that you can label people something as arbitrary as "immoral"? What is your criteria? You judge them based on a belief structure that they might not even share? If they're not playing the same belief game as you are then there's a chance that the rules for you don't apply to them.

What if I was to call everyone who ate apples "immoral" because in the belief structure that I have eating apples angers a higher being? Would you stop eating apples or would you be mad that I am labeling you by a criteria that you don't share? Chances are you would be mad. "Who does Laughlyn think he is? I don't think eating apples is immoral, how self-righteous do you have to be to judge me?" Now, if apple eating is wrong for me then that's as far as it goes. I won't eat apples but I have no problem with others eating apples as the chances that everyone in this world shares my views on apples or anything else with 100% certainty is simply insane.

The idea that somehow you, me or anyone has the key to game design or life is simply crazy. No one knows for sure. Who knows, the belief structure that you hold so dear that you feel the need to project it out onto others could be wrong. You don't know. You think its right but the key thing is that its right FOR YOU. For every reason that you could give as to why your belief structure is right, I could give you one for why those reasons are a matter of perspective. There is absolutely no concrete evidence to support the idea that one belief structure is more right than any other... that's why it's called "faith".

Whether you believe in a higher power or not the one thing that we as human beings, no matter our belief structure, have is choice. We choose to act in ways we see fit, we choose to believe what we believe, we choose our own paths in life. No matter who you are these things are true. What isn't discussed very often and is lost upon people at times is the choice to let other people make their own decisions. They are no more wrong or right in life than they are in how to design a game. The one hard thing that comes with choice is that we have to allow people to make decisions that we wouldn't make for ourselves whether we like their decisions or not. Their decisions are their decisions not ours. As long as their decisions don't hurt any real people then what's the big deal? After all, this all pertains to gaming which in case you weren't aware of, is not real. Labeling someone who doesn't believe the same things as you shows a gigantic lack of respect and along with the ability to choose, respect is the most important thing in this world.

For every label that you can place on someone there are just as many that people can place on you using their own metrics of belief. If you don't want to risk being labeled something you think is unfit then don't label others. There is no absolutism in game design just like there is no absolutism in life... only shades of grey and personal choice.

Laughlyn

Since I'm not above nitpicking, nose picking or any other sort of picking... come to think of it, I'm not above much of anything. Is that a good or bad thing? Oh well, this blog is only two run on sentences long and we've already become so tangental that it reminds of a Gamespot member commenting on a serious blog about a completely unrelated topic. Where was I? Picking my nose? Yes, but I'm always doing that so that's not the answer... oh yeah, I was going to nitpick GTAIV. Well then, as soon as I take my finger out of my nose we can begin.

There's a lot of hub-bub surrounding the GTAIV's "perfect 10". Personally, I don't see what all the rigamarole is about. The game is good, damn good in fact but no need to get in some sort of donnybrook over. If you think the game is a 10 then fine. If you don't then that's fine too! Take that, you self-righteous Christians who believe that just because something is right for you it has to be right for everyone! I got news for you, you may be the #1 religion based on population but you're still only 1/3 of the world's population... are you gonna tell me and every other member of that 66% of the world's population that you're right and we're wrong? I dare you!

Apparently, I need to take my Ritalin as I keep vearing off topic. Ok, back to the lecture at hand which is me nitpicking reasons why GTAIV doesn't deserve a 10. Wait till you see how petty I can get. The following reasons are completely true issues I have with the game that keep me from giving it a 10 in my book with the main reason being that this game doesn't feel revolutionary so much as it feels highly, highly evolutionary.... uh oh, I talked about evolution... I mean this game just screams of a reason to believe in "intelligent design".

1. The radio stations are horrendous. I know that because Vice City and San Andreas were set in the past thus allowing the soundtracks to be filled with total classics that I'm going to be a little harder to please. The problem is that my musical tastes for the most part are stuck in a time frame between the 1960's and about 2002. I don't listen to the radio and detest MTV so I don't keep up with what's "new" and "cool" musically. Even the talk radio station which is usually hilarious is only moderately amusing as I feel like I can hear way crazier things on Fox News and that's not even satire!

2. The targeting system is still terrible. Do not target people through walls. If I lock on to one more person who is in the next room I'm going to break something.

3. There are WAY too many parking spaces in what is supposed to be a mirror of New York City. I'm sorry, I've been to NYC tons of times and I have never once parked less than 6 blocks away from my destination but in Liberty City, I can constantly find a place right in front of my crappy apartment? Also, for all the car theft that goes on, not once is my expensive Porsche or Ferrari (both of which are parked right in front of my **** apartment) stolen.

4. Why is it that I can't leave a car parked somewhere for more than 3 or 4 minutes before it disappears like the Liberty City towing service is following me around waiting for me to get out of the car? That must be how I can always find a parking space!

5. Why aren't I browbeaten and forced to go to church on Sundays? I know that by playing this game I am endangering my own soul because the game is so OBVIOUSLY immoral to members of a certain 33% of the world that they make it seem like it HAS to be that way to the other 66%, but my soul aside, why do I have to worry about Niko's eternal soul as well? I mean, I'm already a lost cause obviously but there's no reason my little Eastern European avatar has to suffer in hell along side me. Something tells me "accidentally" crashing the helicopter into the Cathedral is not going to do anything to help either one of our cases.

6. The new pigeon/hidden package thing is dumb. I must have walked by at least 15 of them thinking they were standing on a gun before I learned that you had to shoot them. Weak.

7. The whole dating component just seems tacked on as a way of adding more salacious content. Unless Michele or any of the other women somehow figure in the ending, I think its time to stop caring. Why should I worry about getting Niko some booty when I'm not getting any of my own?

8. The mini-map is almost too good. I've become so dependent on it that I don't even watch where I'm going while I drive. Its the real world equivalent to having a GPS on your phone that you're looking at while texting, trying to light a cigarette, changing CD's and driving at 80mph in downtown city traffic.

9. Why do I still have the cell phone numbers of people who are dead in my phone? Now, I'll admit that in real life I have all kinds of random people's phone numbers in my phone. However, if I ever was to be responsible for their demise, I think after I killed them I would go ahead and delete them from my phonebook. Maybe that's just me.

If anyone can come up with even more petty complaints as to why GTAIV doesn't deserve a 10 I'm more than willing to listen.

Laughlyn

Around the beginning of the year I set out some modest deadlines for things as they related to my newest machinima projects. The scripts would go out April 1 and the voice work from my actors would come back around May 1. At the time I set this schedule I hadn't planned on getting GTAIV. I thought it would be another game in a gradually declining series that I would get around to eventually but not right away.

Yeah, well cancel that. It turned out to be an amazing game and I got it the day after it came out. The part where things get wonky is that my machinima schedule is still going strong. I have almost 1/2 of all my voice work and should be animating but instead I'm pulled to GTAIV!

Damn you, Rockstar for actually doing what you're supposed to do!

Damn you for delivering on all the hype!

Damn you for not delaying the game one more time until the summer!

Damn you for shipping enough to my little town that I was able to buy one the day after it came out!

Damn you Microsoft for getting the title at launch instead of a few months later like you had with previous iterations of the series!

See, the cool thing about being weak willed is that, like with most things in life, I can just blame everyone else but me! Your kids are criminals? Its video games! Your kids can't read? Its video games! I can't my work done! It's video games!

Now, that I actually say it and use it as an excuse for my own misgivings and lack of focus, it feels natural. No wonder the politicians and parents feel so self-righteous... when you can blame an inanimate object for things that you SHOULD be doing then it absolves you of any kind of guilt. I don't even feel bad about being lazy and not working on my machinimas... I feel like a victim who was taken advantage of be the big, bad, evil video game industry! Oh, poor me, as a free thinking adult in this world who is able to drive, vote and drink how could I not see this coming?

Games truly are the devil and I don't mean just for me. I am so resolute and sure that MY opinions of this game are the absolute, 100%, lead pipe lock, universal truth applicable to 100% of the world's population that I'm not even going to give you the right to decide. What's even better, I'm going to call you names because you play these games. I'm going to tell you that your soul in is jeopardy even though your belief structure might not be mine! Who cares what your belief structure is? Mine is right, yours is wrong... deal with it!

Satire is fun....

Laughlyn

No one has ever accused me of following the pack so in time honored Laughlyn12 fashion I am going to buck the trends just to be different. So, with this being my mission statement for the day let's get to the meat of this dinner... a GTAIV blog! Be forewarned... this blog may contain minor spoilers, if you could even call them that but I just wanted to warn people ahead of time. One man's trivial information is another man's game ruining spoiler.

Like just about everyone without some moral objection, time crushing responisbility or indifference to the franchise I have been spending most of my time over the last couple of days playing GTAIV. I'm not sure this game deserves a 10 but I will say it's damn good. The amount of polish on this game is simply unbelievable. Even me, the uber cynic that isn't really impressed by anything think aspects of this game are unbelievable. Let me just touch on a few highlights.

1) I was in a headon collision so violent that it shot me through the windshield of the car I was driving and killed the driver of the other car. When I went to begin driving the car that I had crashed into, I pulled the driver's lifeless body from the car and it just laid in the street. I'm not sure if this is new to the GTA series or if I never noticed it before.

2) I was walking through the park and when I tried to punch a woman, two men came over and tried to beat me up while the woman ran. I remember in past GTA games the NPC AI all reacted the same, man or woman would just fight. I thought the idea of two men trying to fight someone who was attacking a woman was very cool.

3) Apparently there are secret packages in this game. I was pretty sure there weren't until I saw an achievement for finding all the secret packages. I spent most of my time playing tonight just running around on foot and didn't see anything that might be a secret package. In past games it seemed like you couldn't swing a dead cat without finding one, now I found myself even questioning their existence.

4) I can't find the damn motorcycle that Brucie wants you to steal from his email. The car theft side quests have always been one of my favorite aspects of the game and my inability to find this one (and from what I understand its ONE specific bike as opposed to one type of bike) is really frustrating me.

5) The voice acting is absolutely top notch. I love Seth Green as Brucie and whoever plays Little Jacob. The cutscenes where Niko looks like he has no idea what the hell Jacob is saying are awesome.

6) I took a helicopter ride with Brucie today and the second we went up in the air we were at a 6 star wanted level but nothing happened. Also, driving around the tarmack at the airport is another quick way to get your wanted level up.

7) The auto-targeting system is still terrible. It's the only real complaint I have about the game.

Even though it hasn't been getting that much attention in the gaming media, the Euphoria engine (that will also be used in Star Wars: Force Unleashed) is amazing. It's everything my geeky little heart thought it would be and more. The things it does are almost unnoticable until you really pay attention and then once you see them you'll notice them every time.

9) What the hell are pigeons and why do they need to die? Aside from the obvious reason that they are winged rats of the sky!

10) Even the side missions are fun... delivering weed for Jacob, racing for Brucie, driving for Roman. I never did them in the GTA games before but this time I'm enjoying them.

11) I'm thankful that I don't have to go to the gym anymore. I'm about the most lethargic person around... why the hell would I want to play a video game where I have to go to the gym? Why not just give me a game where I have to sit in traffic for 2 hours a day?

12) Speaking of the traffic, its awesome. There's something about this game that really gives me a feeling of NYC. I've spent lots of time there and something about this game just reminds me so much of the nuances of the city. I know that's the point but this is much deeper than just the obvious look.

13) The cops are freaking smart in this game and I love the new "Wanted Level" mechanic with the radius of them looking for you. No matter what your wanted level is you can pretty much escape if you know what you're doing unlike in past games where once you were above three your choices were Paint and Spray or die.

I don't think I'm all that far in the game but my completion level is 28% and I'm not even to whatever the equivalent of Manhattan is yet. I read that by completing the quests in the game your completion level will be 65% so it somewhat troubles me that I'm almost half through and haven't really felt like I've done all that much.

Well, I hope everyone is enjoying their GTAIV experience as much as I am and if anyone could just tell me where the hell the motorcycle I need to steal for Brucie is I would be much appreciated. I don't need the neighborhood, I need a more specific location.

Thanks and have fun out there.

Laughlyn

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog titled, "Blasphemy". The whole point of the blog was to write about how I secretly wished for GTAIV to fail as a way of possibly teaching the gaming public to not just rush out and buy games on launch day based on previous iterations in the franchise.

The point was also for people to wait and see as opposed to just pronouncing a game great even before anyone had actually played it. I'm kind of a stickler for language and when people pronounce something as ""going to be great" as opposed to "I really hope its great" it just really bugs me. Its a little odd and I imagine most people mean "hope" when they say "will" but its just my thing.

Now, having said that, I spent the last four days getting as many different opinions about GTAIV as possible. I've read multiple video game websites, read mainstream media reviews of the game, TiVO'ed X-Play's 20 minute live gameplay demo on Sunday morning and watched Gamespot's gaming marathon. After getting as much information as I possibly could without becoming some sort of bizarre, obsessed shut-in I went out and got myself a copy.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for (well, probably not but still...) the game is amazing. Is it the best game in the universe? I don't think I'd go that far but its damn good. Now, if you go back and read "Blasphemy" you'll see that I never said that I thought the game was going to be crap just hoped as a way of teaching over zealous gamers to hold off before going out and buying a title in a well known franchise. It now looks like I'm going to have to wait for another title to completely bite people in the butt and all those who happily go out and buy games on launch day will use this as an example of one time when it was worth it. Oh well, in the end, I guess its kind of a wash.

I still stand by my point, just because this game was exactly what people had hoped for doesn't mean they all will. Just keep that in mind. I'm glad this one worked out as I've been looking for something very time consuming to play but I implore you, my gamer friends, don't use this as the reason why you should just go out and buy every single game on launch day. Eventually, one game will completely blow and it will already be too late for you.

Developers need to deliver like Rockstar did here and not just take advantage of us and our love for certain franchises... I'm talking to you, Ubisoft.

Oh well, I hope everyone is enjoying their game but just keep this blog in the back of your head for the future.

Laughlyn