- lazyhoboguy
- Rank: Sword of Sodan
- Member since: Nov 26, 2007
- Last online: 05/26/13 3:22 am PT
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lazyhoboguy's blog
My consoles are: Game Boy, Game Boy Advance(and gba sp), DS Lite, Nintendo 64, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, NES, SNES, and Gamecube. Here is my video game collection: -------------------------------------------------------------------------www.lazyhoboguy.webs.com psn: lazyhoboguy
Xlink Kai: lazyhobobum
I also am active in playing PS2 games through LAN tunneling programs. I play games that have had their online servers taken down. A program called Xlink Kai allows PS2 games with a LAN option to be played online still. Timesplitters:Future Perfect is the game I play the most through this method.
Another long time PS2 online enthusiast and I have created a website to plan PS2 online and LAN tunneling (Xlink Kai) matches. It is:
ps2onlinegaming.com
My youtube channel: youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy
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13Jul 10
IT has been over a month since my last blog. Deal with it.
I am normally not one to partake in the mood altering mind boggling effects of alcoholic beverages, but since I am house sitting for my parents for over a week I needed some cheap entertainment. You see, there is no cable television or decent caliber of internet speed here. I brought few video games with me because I planned to only stay for a mere 3 or 4 days. However, it was requested of me that I stay for nearly 2 weeks, so now I am trapped here with only a very small number of NES games and GC games. Boredom has constantly been on the offensive, trying to destroy my very existence. It nearly had won its nefariously started war, but I managed to trick the sly beast of boredom with an expertly blended amount of cheapness powers.Here is a list of items needed to follow my now proven winning strategy to combat cruel mind- deflating boredom.
Item 1: Used Dreamcast from a thrift store for 25 bucks.
It came with a fishing controller, a normal controller and all wires. I also picked up a demo disc of several Dreamcast games for 2 bucks. This disc helped me confirm that the Sega Dreamcast indeed did function at the optimal level I expected of such a console. Unfortunately, it also has tormented my soul or whatever you may call a persons inner essence or imaginary sense of being. These brief glimpses of potentially amazing or mediocre games that are momentarily forced into my brain's consideration are such a tease. I cannot help but want to play the complete games to reach an ultimate conclusion on whether each game will deserve to hold a coveted and respected spot in my permanent gaming collection.
Item 2: Megadeth CD "Cryptic Writings"
Which is currently playing on the before mentioned Dreamcast with the additional aid of a 14 inch television set which has finally found a way to make up for its unimpressive screen size. Here is a fun fact that I recently just discovered. Playing CDs on the Dreamcast results in the display of a spinning CD on your television screen. This swiftly revolving virtual representation of a compact disc is split into 2 magical halves of separate yet equally intriguing colors. One is white and one is red. A hole in the middle of a CD is shown as well. This hole in the direct center of the spinning CD, in addition to the two perhaps merely coincidental combination of colors, cannot help but stir up a thought in my mind. This image flaunted before me brings up memories of a Poke Ball. If I was Dale Gribble, I would launch into countless conspiracy theories in a sort of deranged attempt to justify this eerie occurrence. If I truly was Dale Gribble, the potential spreading of the already frighteningly powerful influence of the world of Pokemon would be of immense concern to me. I am not Dale Gribble ,however, so I am left on my own to wonder what this strange visual sign means….
Get the hell away from my newly acquired used Dreamcast you Pokefreaks!!!!!!
Item 3: "5 Hour Energy"
The purpose this aquiring this bottle, which is full of a mixed batch of potential future positive and negative consequences, is to keep me awake after being up for more than 24 hours in my crazy reckless near impossible mission to return my sleep schedule to a normal state of affairs.
Item 4: $3 Vodka!!!!!!!
Really. It cost freaking 3 dollars. I cannot believe this still. It is 3 dollar vodka for 3 dollars! For a mere 300 pennies I have acquired one of the finest and fanciest varieties of Vodka available in this fine United States of America. The name of this brand of vodka, one containing an epic amount of quality formerly unknown to my simple mind, a mind which was in the past and probably in the future still will be an irregular partaker in the realm of gulping down alcoholic beverages, is eloquently stated as " VIP Select Premium Vodka" .Does that packaging look like it's made of glass to you? I hate to inform you but it just isn't. It is created from cheap plastic like that found in a water bottle. The cap is like a twist off 2-liter bottle of soda cap. C-lassy isn't it?
Item 5: Something to drown out the taste of a horrible tasting and previously unwisely praised 3 dollar Vodka. This miracle drink would be called Orange Juice.I did not notice this in the store but apparently the particular type of orange juice that I acquired contains
"Juicy Rewards". I was for quite a long moment of time terribly confused as to the meaning of this strange trademarked slogan that covered the front of my carton of liquefied oranges. Through expert detective work ( 5 minutes of reading random different parts of the box in a drunken frenzy) I discovered that a mystical code of numbers and letters lived beneath the cap of this purchased box of once solid oranges. Apparently, if you are some sort of crazy hoarder person that collects millions of these things you can in about twenty or thirty years earn enough magical beneath the cap points to acquire some prize. I can only guess the prizes are plastic and made in sweatshops overseas and worth about 30cents. Good job I guess Tropicana…….
Conclusion to the Blog??!?!?!?!?!?
While a normal person would at this point in this blog realize that enough nonsense had already been unleashed onto the poor unlucky readers of this massacre of the whole notion of writing in a decent manner,
you obviously fail to realize that I am an AssHat sometimes. No, I do not mean that my Ass gets chilly and requires a hefty cap for warmth on occasion. Nor do I mean that my head is often adorned with an Ass shaped hat. I mean that I am an AssHat. An AssHat like myself is a person that can be so uttterly ridiculous that merely calling them an Ass does not suffice to convey the magnitude of their treachery. NO! An extra word is desperately needed to be joined to the word Ass. That word is Hat. It shows that I am no mere Ass, but an Ass that needs the word Hat also attached to that already vile word. I am sure that must have cleared up the meaning of the word AssHat for you now. If it is still not clear to you, perhaps it because I am an AssHat and my explanations about my nature cannot be trusted?So, anyways. Unfortunately for you, my blog shall continue for no valid reason. Deal with this as you see fit. Pull out your hair, punch a wall, throw a barrage of uncooked eggs at those in life who you dislike. I do not care how you react or overact to the news that this already lengthy blog is not coming to a desperately wished for halt. But you must find some way to deal with it, because onward this blog continues to flow….
Welcome to the drunk ramblings of a lazyhobodrunk. Enjoy them or swiftly fly your mindplane into the inescapable airspace of insanity.*EDIT* ERRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGH
I ran into the character limit for a blog post. Apparently gamespot itself is revolting against the idea of me continuing my blog. I tried various editing tricks to save space to make it fit, but alas gamespot has won this round...
Or has it.....
A magical link of wonderfulness is emerging! This link takes you to a dangerous place. A place where my gamespot blogs are mirrored for backup purposes mainly. However, this time this realm serves an amazing purpose that outshines its gamespot brother. The character limit is far longer for some reason!!!!!!
This means you can enjoy my drunken and 5 hour energy induced rant -infested instant messenger conversation! mUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CLICK HERE IF YOU DARE. YOU SILLY MORTALS!
Also, no cencorship on that blog means curse words are naked and free to be themselves and frolic in the nippy breeze of the internetz.
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5Jun 10
I have been feeling lazy, so consequently, I have not felt like writing many blogs lately as you may have noticed. I have been getting in a lot of gaming lately though and that is probably why I have not felt like blogging. Sometimes I end up reading and writing about gaming more than I actually end up playing games. Lately that trend has shifted. Since it's been awhile since my last blog, I will just fill you in on what's been up.
The biggest gaming news of mine is that I finally rebought a Xbox 1 console. I owned one for about a year around the time halo2 came out, but then it got stolen by some dirty asshats. I had forgotten how freaking heavy and huge this thing is. I mean just holy crap. Next to my slim ps2 it looks like a freaking monstrosity.
The place I bought this from online has a shrink wrap fetish. They shrink wrapped the console, its wires, and the controller. Their shrink wrap leaves a grease behind too which is annoying.
So because of the arrival of the xbox I now have 7 consoles hooked up to a tv or my pc moniter in my tiny room. (Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Gamecube, SNES, NES, N64, and Xbox)
I payed 60 bucks for the console and a controller. It is used and cost about 10 bucks more than I could get one on ebay, but mine came with a 90 day warranty against defects. So spending that extra 10 bucks was hard for a cheapo like me, but made sense in the long run. One of my main motivations to rebuy a Xbox was because of its online capabilities. I knew Xbox Live was already dead for the console, but I never intended to use that anyways. I use Xlink Kai which is a LAN tunneling program that lets you play certain games online forever basically.
So, the first games I bought were ones that could be played online through this method.
Doom 3
Halo: Combat Evolved
Halo 2
Rallisport Challenge 2
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Island ThunderI have already played Halo 1, Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Island Thunder, and Rallisport Challenge 2 online with Xlink Kai several times. Here are some videos of that (http://www.youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy#p/c/0F353BC1F645E219 ). Doom 3 has online co-op but I have not tried that yet as I am playing through its single player first.
Oh yea, Doom 3 is pretty freaking awesome. I play with the lights off of course and nearly have peed myself far too many times to count.
I also have been playing Gunstar Super Heroes on Game Boy Advance.
It is a fun shoot em up game where you also have a wide variety of mellee attacks. The game is fun, but also pisses me off a bit because the developers are some sadistic asses sometimes. The game is challenging and you will die a lot which is fine to me. However, Treasure, the developers felt it was necessary to ridicule the player after each occurence of the gamer's tragic electronic demise. The sad moments after your death soon will enrage you because the sick twisted developer forces the game to reset back to the title screen after each death.
The game is cool sometimes because the gameplay radically and randomly changes from time to time. Sometimes you are thrown into a helicopter combat level, or you are on a board game type level where you roll a dice of sorts to get through a series of boss battles. These keep things fresh, but the board game scenario in particular is maddeningly frustrating because it takes extreme luck to time the moves of your "dice". Like you can either move 1 to 5 spaces across the board depending on if you can hit a button to make a rapidly scrolling thing land on the correct number you want. The huge amount of luck that this requires means that in many attempts by the time you reach the end boss of this evil board game you will have barely enough health left to fight him beacuse you landed on too many minibosses beforehand. I have been stuck on this part for over a week.
Besides these problems, it still is an amazing game.
I also finally bought my first Guitar Hero game.
I really hate giving this guy and his company money though. He is only smiling in this picture because he used that plastic intrument to beat 3 baby seals to death.
I am a few years late I know haha. I had played one of the games a handful of times before many years ago, but never felt the need to spend like 100 dollars to buy a fake guitar and the fake guitar game. I know how to play real guitar, so the game did not seem worth buying. Now, I have pretty much realized I probably wont ever play real guitar actively again, so Guitar Hero seems like a nice substitute haha.
So, I ended up getting Guitar Hero 3 with the wireless guitar for Playstation 3 for 26.99.
I remember this cost like 100 dollars when it came out, so I finally could not resist getting it. I found it in a random department store called Ross too lol. It was the only one there.
I played it for a few hours last night and I am enjoying it. I find that after 2 or 3 songs my hand cramps up like a mother ****er though. It is interesting playing Guitar Hero after spending tons of hours playing Frequency and Amplitude on the PS2. I think I still like these 2 games more than the fake plastic guitar type of games though.
To show you my cheapness and lack of care about having fancy looking clothes, I will inform you that I bought new jeans for the first time in over 3 years lol. This only happened becasue my favorite pair of jeans that I wear whenever its possible is finally starting to die. I bought a few new T-shirts as well since the Dryer in my apartment building has started burning and ripping wholes in my clothes.
I have been reading some books for leisure now that I am off from college for the summer. It is nice reading stuff besides history books which I was forced to read for my major. I picked up a big old stack of 1 dollar a piece books from a thrift store too, so I will not run out of reading material any time soon.
ALSO. DEMON'S SOULS IS NOW ONLY $29.99. IF YOU HAVE A PS3 AND HAVE GOOD TASTE IN GAMES AND STILL CHOOSE TO NOT BUY THIS. WE CAN NO LONGER BE FRIENDS.
http://www.destructoid.com/demon-s-souls-29-99-for-a-limited-time-175471.phtml
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13May 10
http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/drifting/chat.html
So, I found this little Cortez chatbot thing. He is the guy from Timesplitters. I spent about 20 mins messing around with this even though I have 11 more pages to write for my final. It is due in 12 hours.
1st attempt
You: you look slightly different from the game somehow. Haircut?
Cortez: Where are you from?
You: Earth
Cortez: I think a monkey took my Temporal Uplink...
You: Well you should spank him then.
Cortez: FRD should let me have a blog.
Cortez: Don't you think so?
You: Honestly... no.
Cortez: For all you know I could be your great-great-great grandson.
You: I would surely hope not.
Cortez: Time to Split!
You: LMFAO!!!!!!!.... NOT.
Cortez: Whew, that Jo-Barf Creepy was a DEMON! Scary!
You: Too bad she didn't chew your face off on her way to devouring your delicious brains.
Cortez: Hmm, I see.
You: Do you? Do you really? I doubt it.
Cortez: I've never been too good with women.
Cortez: I feel like I miss opportunities with them.
You: Just teleport back to the stone age, their standards are probably much lower.
Cortez: Did you really just say Just teleport back to the stone age, their standards are probably much lower. ?
You: Yes Maam.
You: Poo
Cortez: I've been trying to avoid Poo lately.
You: Good for you
Cortez: My name is Cortez. I'm a Space Marine. What's your name?
You: Asswipe
Cortez: So what kind of music are you into?
Cortez: I like techno.
You: Asstechno
Cortez: One time I found out a Time Crystal I had found was fake.
Cortez: It was disappointing.
You: Asscrystal
Cortez:
You: ......
Cortez: I sure did.2nd attempt
You: hello assface
Cortez: I once tried to domesticate a Reaper Splitter.
Cortez: Everything worked out fine until it ate Private Jones.
You: That sounds like it still worked out quite wonderfully.
Cortez: Damnit!
You: ?
Cortez: Right now?
You: ?
Cortez: So what kind of music are you into?
Cortez: I like techno.
You: You are a strange computer chat bot...
Cortez: You are a strange computer chat bot... is cool, but I'm cooler.
You: That made no sense. None at all. I get it. You must be a writer for Family Guy.
Cortez: Tough to say. Could I have a minute to think it over?
You: Are you high on crystal meth?
Cortez: Oh, are you still talking to me?
You: Lol, I will take that as a yes.
Cortez: I'll get the gun.
You: Holy **** Good Bye.
Cortez: I'm ready to kick some ass!Another guy (Rusty Shackelford in my Im conversations on previous blogs) and I hijacked the chatbox on this site with the following comments.
14 May 10, 01:05
Treyarch: Level Design Brainstorm= Poo is brown.... ALL LEVELS AND CHARACER MODELS SHALL BE BROWN!
14 May 10, 01:04
Michael Q. Schmidt: I'm going to raise my roof, I'm going to raise my roof! I'm going to raise my roof, I'm going to raise my roof! I'm going to raise my roof, I'm going to raise my roof!
14 May 10, 01:02
Bobby Hill: Anybody sniff today's garbage?
14 May 10, 01:02
Fat Sweaty Asian Man: They don't stop... tabernacle.... They don't stop... tabernacle.... They don't stop... tabernacle.... They don't stop... tabernacle.... They don't stop... tabernacle.... They don't stop... tabernacle
14 May 10, 01:00
Rick James: **** YO COUCH!
14 May 10, 00:59
CoD2 Soldier: Reporting from the muddy, N64-level textured front lines. Ran out of rations, almost got shot in the head. Looking for some refuge here in Germany. Can't wait to see you at home honey. Love ya!
14 May 10, 00:59
Mr. Garrison: Cortez, you go to hell. You go to hell and you die.
14 May 10, 00:59
Boomhower: Dang ol' chatbox man!
14 May 10, 00:58
Mantel Grunt: Booooooooosh.
14 May 10, 00:57
Boomhower: HeymanyaknowwhatIamtalkingaboutman thatthingisridculousemandidyouseethatguyoverthereman.
14 May 10, 00:56
Skincoat: Did somebody tell me to go suck some balls?
14 May 10, 00:55
Cat: Meow. I am going to pee on your surround sound receiver!
14 May 10, 00:55
Bobby Kotick: I own you all! Muahahahahahahahahahah.
14 May 10, 00:54
Dale Gribble: The aliens are clawing the insides of my head!
14 May 10, 00:53
Crytek UK (Free Radical ): HEH.... Sorry for Haze guys.
14 May 10, 00:52
Sarah Palin: Onward Christian Soldiers. Africa is a country. I can see Russia from my house.
14 May 10, 00:51
Hank Hill: Hi, I sell chatboxes and chatbox accesories.
14 May 10, 00:48
Hung Down Lo: Feel the sweat from my balls! -
5May 10
I have not felt like blogging in the last 2 weeks even though I have ample amounts of topics to talk about. I did not feel like writing anything though. Deal with it. I cannot help but channel my lazyhoboguy qualities sometimes.
(7:35:57 PM) ME: there was a man
(7:35:59 PM) ME: on the bus
(7:36:05 PM) ME: who was like 40 or 50 maybe
(7:36:09 PM) ME: a fat asian guy with glasses
(7:36:13 PM) ME: he kept repeating 2 words
(7:36:34 PM) rusty shackleford: buchholz and pingas?
(7:37:02 PM) ME: the were muffled and did not sound like english. Perhaps they were a real language but I think he invented his own language. He kept saying something like theydontstop and something that sounded like tabernacle
(7:37:15 PM) ME: "theeydooontstop.....tabernacllle...."
(7:37:22 PM) ME: 5 secs later
(7:37:23 PM) ME: "theeydooontstop.....tabernacllle...."
(7:37:27 PM) ME: 5 secs later
(7:37:29 PM) ME: "theeydooontstop.....tabernacllle...."
(7:37:35 PM) ME: he did this for 12 minutes straight
(7:37:36 PM) ME: OH
(7:37:40 PM) ME: and as an added bonus
(7:37:57 PM) ME: he pulled up his tshirt and scracthed his big fat hairy gut for aabout a third of the ride
(7:38:16 PM) ME: The small wonderful joys of public transit
(7:38:21 PM) rusty shackleford: wow
(7:38:24 PM) rusty shackleford: just... wow
(7:38:32 PM) ME: yae lo
(7:38:37 PM) ME: everyone on the bus was just like wtf
(7:40:40 PM) rusty shackleford: "itellyouwhat...propane..."
(7:41:06 PM) rusty shackleford: you should have started singing the cyberdillo theme
(7:42:00 PM) ME: lol
(7:42:01 PM) ME: i forgot it
(7:42:27 PM) ME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixybLSwI4wE
(7:42:33 PM) ME: heres another video of how tiny my room is
(7:46:14 PM) ME: oooooo nooooo
(7:46:23 PM) ME: that independent game store in my city might be dead
(7:46:24 PM) ME: i hope not
(7:46:32 PM) ME: i called them and it says the number has been disconnected
(7:46:42 PM) ME: i was hoping they sold original xboxs
(7:49:11 PM) rusty shackleford: =/
(7:49:20 PM) ME: i emailed them
(7:49:23 PM) ME: hopefully they are alive
(8:02:10 PM) ME: http://www.destructoid.com/7-eleven-used-games-sales-is-totally-happening-171453.phtml
(8:05:49 PM) rusty shackleford: did you hear ubisoft is getting rid of manuals in games?
(8:06:37 PM) ME: yea....
(8:06:43 PM) ME: http://www.destructoid.com/review-3d-dot-game-heroes-171436.phtml
(8:06:46 PM) ME: oh oh
(8:06:52 PM) ME: this game sounds like what I feared it would be
(8:07:01 PM) ME: too much of a zelda ripoffSo…ya. That happened. It was quite odd.
I have played way too many games since my last blog.
I started playing PixelJunk Eden off of my imported retail copy of PixelJunk 3 in 1 Pack. I really am enjoying that game, well just like pixeljunk monsters the difficulty randomly ramps up to an insane degree about halfway through. It is somewhat spoiling my love for the game. Nevertheless I like the game's crazy weirdness enough to soldier on and finish the game eventually.
I had an 8 page paper due a couple days ago. I started it about 5 hours before it was due. Bow before my procrastination prowess.
I started watching a bunch of movies on Netflix's online streaming thingamabob. I wonder why people say thingama "bob". Why is this guy so special that his name gets stuck in a word that is meant to describe so many things. Why not thingamaherbert. Oh wait, I understand now. Bob is short for bobby. Bobby Hill. That boy ain't right. But he is the son of a propane salesman…
I tell you what. Boggle. Pegggggggggggy Hilllllllll speaks perfect Espanol.
I watched Taxi Driver. Wow. That movie was amazing. I watched the movie Blow. That movie was not amazing and was all flash and no substance. I watched a documentary called "Heavy Metal in Baghdad" It was about … you guessed it heavy metal in Baghdad. But, it was more than that. It showed the band members perspectives about living in Iraq in a warzone. I thought it was very well made. I also watched Full Metal Jacket. That was good, not amazing.
I have been up for a day and am stupid off 5 hour energy. I usually put this warning at the start of my blogs. However, in this particular instance I felt like ****ing with all of your minds instead. I am enjoying it.
I also played red dead revolver. Boy was that disappointing. No story, repetitive gameplay. No open world. You just go straight from one battle to the next. Gun was a way better game.
I also got in some NES games. I played double dragon finally. It is ok. It is kind of a cheap beat em up since the game holds abilities hostage from you until you get certain high scores each playthrough. That gets annoying since your attacks suck at first.
I also started playing Nintendo World Cup on NES. This is freaking fun! It is a not too serious soccer game where you can do crazy ass super kicks and attack other teams' players so much that they will just all start lying motionless in the grass after awhile from the beatings.
I usually put in pictures in my blogs. But I wont this time. Hahah. Take that. No visual breaks for you from the boring looking text.
I finally reordered an xbox original console. It is coming in the mail. I used to have one but it got stolen from my house a few years back. There is no greater crime to commit to a gamer than stealing the devices that enable his or her hobby. If I ever find out who took it….. I shall have to do unspeakable things to them. Example: I might tie them up. I might chug a 5 hour energy. I might then proceed to unleash the twice hourly fart attacks caused by 5 hour energy into the dirty thief's face.
ERRRRRRRRR what else happened. Oh, I like the show Breaking Bad a lot. It had a very amazing episode on Sunday.
Where the flying (crapping in mid air down on unsuspecting humans) **** am I going to place that Xbox monster console when it arrives? My room is quite tiny if you remember. I think I may have to throw away my mattress.
Somebody stole my paper towels.
Really.
A roommate here is such a dirty shameless puke face that they actually stole some of my paper towels and used them. Really??? What the truck. Yuck. How freaking cheap are paper towels. WTF. I left out a container of brand new dishsaop on the kitchen counter for 20 minutes one time. When I came back half of it was gone…. Somebody actually was such a dirtbag that they stole soap…… They saved it for later apparently. Or they ate it? They probably are that sick if they steal soap. Well soap does smell kind of like fruit and delicious sometimes. Or maybe they took a shower in the sink.
Oh Gamestop makes me madder and madder. The local independent gamestore in my city went out of business. Gamecrazy is going out of business. That sucks.
Here is the internet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-SVbBgQeKQ
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14Apr 10
Warning: This blog contains graphic talk about turd. Skip over this first section if you are afraid of natural bodily functions.
START OF TURD TALK
So, a lot of interesting stuff has happened since my last blog a couple weeks ago. I went back to my parents' house for 2 days during spring break to visit them. Upon my arrival, we went out to eat at restaurant called Black Angus. It is chain steak house restaurant. I had eaten there many times before so I was not alarmed by the fact that the name of the restaurant would mean "Black ****" with the subtraction of only one letter G. I did not notice anything significantly wrong while eating the food that this Angus restaurant managed to squeeze out onto my plate. I did not feel sick for the few hours I was awake when I first got to my parents house. All of a sudden at 3am when I was trying to sleep though my stomach starting feeling like an angry midget was inside of it and was thrashing around in a drug fueled rage. I ran to the bathroom and had the most unpleasant type of bowel movement imaginable. The D word,. Diarrhea, aehrraiD backwards. I hoped the unpleasant feelings in my stomach would fade away after suffering through a most atrocious experience on the toilet, but I was very wrong. Every 20 minutes for the next 5 or 6 hours I had to run to the bathroom for countless sequels to the prior explosive diarrhea event.
I finally managed to fall asleep somehow for a few minutes after one of the many diarrhea attacks. But there was one climatic bathroom trip still lurking in the future. I woke up feeling even worse than before. My stomach was going crazy. I barely could make it to the bathroom before that damn diarrhea demanded to be freed. What was even worse…. while sitting on the can I felt a new feeling in my stomach…. a feeling that something was rising in it. I realized quickly that I was going to have puke. I was still sitting on the toilet dealing with the first expulsion of bodily waste. WHAT TO DO! Well there was a small trash can near me so I grabbed it and puked my guts out for 5 minutes straight. I eventually cleaned up and got out of that wretched traumatizing bathroom and slowly made my way to other end of the house and then collapsed on a couch where I slept for a day straight and woke up at 10pm.
I will not be eating out for a very very very very very long time.
END OF RECTAL RHETORIC
GAMESTOP……………………………………………………..
So, I could not resist the lure of the most immoral business in the known universe. Perhaps there is an even worse gaming establishment in existence in the butthole of the universe somewhere, but for now LAMESTOP takes the prize for being the most purely evil video game store in the cosmos. I foolishly went back into one of these sickening manifestations of corporate greed. I should have learned from the many times this chain of game defiling stores has screwed me over, but I was an idiot. I bought 3 games from this wretched buttmerchant. I bought Valkyria Chronicles on PS3 for 20 dollars new and got a sealed copy. I got Midnight Club 2 on PS2 for like 6 dollars used. The final game I got was Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus. "Those are not too bad prices" you might say. "What are you *****ing about" you may think to smugly think to yourself. Well, 2 days later while checking my bank account I discovered that Gamestop I had given my money had decided to be idiotic puke monkeys and double charged my debit card for my purchase. So, today I went back to the store to get this stupid mistake of theirs fixed. Of course they had no clue how to help and could not even find the 2nd charge in the system. They gave me the number for the corporation itself to call because they could do nothing further to fix their mistake. I went home and fearfully dialed the 1800 number of death. I was calling the evil gaming empire itself. Merely filing a complaint to them might result in them sending one of their adolescent HALO3/CODMW2 fanboy assassins after me. But I bravely finished dialing the number. I am a cheap ass, as you must already know, so I could not stand to lose $32.71 because of Gamestop's ineptitude.
While on hold waiting for a customer service representative of the evil empire to converse with me, Mario and Zelda music began to leap from my cell phone into my ear. Those sly asshatical executives at gamestop, they must think that playing gamer music would calm my fury. No, I would not be tricked by this tainted offering of gaming music.
I finally started talking to a guy and he was surprisingly cheerful and told many unfunny and horribly cheesy jokes in an attempt to make me less perturbed at his employer. The phone connection was very bad and every like 3 seconds his voice would cut out momentarily. He informed me that this was a common problem with their phones. I assumed it must be so that his superiors would have the time needed to stealthily whip the call center's employees, masking their screams with the brief moments the phone lines cut out. No wonder this guy was so strongly upbeat on the phone, any small mistake and his masters probably would devour his flesh to feed their monstrous appetites. Yes Gamestop's upper management consists of monsters, ghouls, demons, and Dick Cheney- like beings.
Dealing with the ever present threat of violence from his masters, the poor Gamestop call center slave worked pretty efficiently and told me he would contact my bank to clear up the double charge. After I made this call, I checked my bank account again and noticed that actually the double charge had been refunded randomly a day or so before. I guess someone at Lamestop realized their mistake or something and tried to fix it, but since I was not notified at all I still ended up wasting an hour or so going back to that Gamestop and calling the oppressive corporation itself.
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok fine, I know I cannot resist the buy 2 get 1 free deals on used ps2 games they have 2 times a year. So…. Besides these rare sales,
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
From now on I will just buy my gaming crap online or make the long trip to the slightly overpriced independent games store at the other end of the city I live in. Every other time I give Gamestop business they do something to enrage me or completely make me lose faith in gamerkind.
What an odd picture from google images.
It is like a crackhead going to a drug dealer that randomly deals out uncalled for forceful kicks to his customer's testicles. Yet, this customer is so addicted to the product of the merchant that he soon forgets about his swollen nuts and returns to that same cruel merchant for more potential abuse. I shall no longer be like that crackhead.
I was going to talk about the 10 hours or so of Valkyria Chronicles I had played too, but I have already gone on for far too long. I will wait for the next blog to do that.
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1Apr 10
I love my Dualshock one controller. Even though it came out for the Playstation 1 it still works with about half of all the Playstation 2 games that were released. The analog sticks on it are much more fluid in their movement and are built better. The face buttons are digital so they don't have that squishy feeling like on ps2 controllers which have the terrible pressure sensitive stuff built into them.
Pure Beauty!
I was madly in love with the Dualshock 1 ever since I picked up a used one from a thrift store for $4 a year ago. It was used and dirty when I acquired it, but I lovingly nursed the poor thing back to health with the help of some alcohol wipes and paper towels.
I used this controller for a year straight and I played a ton of ps2 games with my beloved controller. It had never had any problems in an entire year of using it. It was a used thrift store controller so who knows how many years someone else used and abused it before I even acquired it. On the other hand, every Dualshock 2(PS2 controller) I have used has had its analog sticks start to wear out after 2 or 3 months of heavy use.
My Dualshock 1 controller and I were quite the pair for this wonderful year of gaming bliss. Together we went on countless exciting adventures. Some of my plastic buddy and my gaming escapades included sniping people in the face in slow motion (sniper elite), rolling tons of random crap and Earth inhabitants up into a massive ball of death and awesomeness (Katamari Damacy), beheading undead monkeys (Timesplitters: Future Perfect and Timesplitters 2), tugging on giant boobs to kill enemies (Stretch Panic... really it's part of the game), having our minds blown (Rez,Frequency, Amplitude, Lumines Plus), creating a "naughty british dancing" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vcun5XqM3c) video that was really a work of art (Cold Winter), and we gorily dismembered hundreds of jack ass gunman with various weapons.(Soldier of Fortune: Gold Edition).
So, today I was deeply troubled when I discovered that my old friend had something seriously wrong with him. My poor Dualshock 1's square button was nearing death. It would jam up after every 3 or 4 presses. I discovered this while playing the button mashy game called Dynasty Warriors 3. I guess my unlucky Dualshock 1's square button had already had a few too many mashes. My Dualshock 1 and I both knew that such vital button could not be allowed to be in this faulty condition for my gaming sessions and I knew the frightening thoughts that my Dualshock 1 could not help but think about.
It probably thought that since it was no longer functional it would be tossed into the garbage or sent back to a thrift store again. But no, I could not take the easy way out and dispose of my old amigo plastico. I had performed controller surgery before and I knew I could do it again. Unfortunately, I was just an amateur electronic gaming surgeon. I had only taken apart simple SNES controllers and opened up a Fat PS2 console (which resulted in disaster). I feared that the inside of a Dualshock 1 would contain more crazy electronic gizmos and mechanisms than I could handle. I feared that opening up the Dualshock lad would lead to his quick death.
I decided it was worth the risk to perform this hasty surgery. I could just spend 10 dollars to buy another Dualshock one and replace this one, but this one had too much sentimental value. I would use all of my lazyhoboskills to try to save the life of my beloved controller.
I tried doing some quick research to see what I was getting myself into. Unfortunately searching on google gave me no useful information. If you search for a Dualshock 1 or ps1 controller all you get is ps2 and ps3 stuff. I realized I had to just open up the controller and hope I could figure out what to do.
The mysterious innards of this wonderful piece of gaming engineering were sealed up by the collective defense of 7 tiny screws. I whipped out my screwdriver set and I thought I would make short work of these twisty metal rods that stood in my way. But when I opened up my screwdriver set a horrible site leaped out at me!!!!
RUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mother ****ing RUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What was even more alarming was that the rust was only on the one screwdriver that I needed. The other 5 or 6 in the set looked as good as new still. It was at that moment that I realized someone or something must be plotting a scheme to stop my attempts to resuscitate my fallen gaming pal. Some purposeful sorcery must have taken place in order for the one screwdriver I needed to be ravaged in such a shocking way.
I started surveying my crappy tiny tiny room that I mange to somehow not go mad in. I slowly scanned my surroundings to try to catch any hidden enemies that were lurking about. I was about to turn around and give up this search when I caught something in the corner of my eye.
You sneaky son of a *****!!!!!
It was my neglected Dualshock 2 controller peeking out from the cabinet below my TV! He certainly had an ample amount of motive for sabotaging my attempts to save my Dualshock 1 controller's life. Ever since the Dualshock 1 arrived my Dualshock 2 was usually banished to my cabinet in the bottom section of my TV stand. Over time he must have grown madder and madder at his sudden neglect, reaching an irreversible state where all that was left in his plastic mind were thoughts of utter insanity. It all made sense now. I confronted him and he of course denied my accusations of his participation in the aforementioned treachery. But I would not listen to the lies that spurted forth from his dirty controller mouth and I tossed him back in the dark cabinet to punish him. I pushed some random heavy junk in front of the cabinet doors to seal him in. He would not be disturbing me any time soon.
Dualshock 2s are as evil and disturbing as this image.
I tried to use the smaller screwdrivers on the screws, but they would not work. I knew that I had no choice left but to use the rusted screwdriver. I angrily wiped off as much rust from the screwdriver as I could using a paper towel. When I picked the tool up it still left a nasty residue on my hands. I lashed out at the Dualshock 2 by very loudly yelling out obscenities at him. I was so furious that I even made crude jokes about his mother (SONY). I was not sure if he was able to hear me since he was locked away in that cabinet dungeon. But seconds later, I could not help but smile when I could faintly hear his electronic weeping.
I managed to use the dirty rusted screwdriver to yank out the 7 screws on the Dualshock 1's backside. Before attempting to split my poor Dualshock 1 in half, I prayed to the gaming gods, begging for their guidance in this delicate operation. To show my reverence and earn their favor I pulled out a copy of Superman 64 and viciously released my bowels all over it. The gaming gods must surely be proud of me now! Confident in having supernatural aid in my gaming surgery, I returned to the task at hand.
I separated the Dualshock 1 in half. When I removed the back half of the controller I was greeted with a sight that completed discombobulated my simple mind. The amount of electronic wizardly that must have gone into creating the innards of this great controller must have been immense. I realized that my prior experience with opening up Super Ninendo controllers would be of little help to me. There was a main board where all the various microchips and metal junk was stuck too. There were a few different wires going from this. There was a green looking paper thick foldable sheet type of material that folded under the controllers buttons yet remained attached to the main circuit board thing. I tried to remember in my mind how the innards were held together as I pulled them apart, but it was impossible to remember every subtle detail of their organization.
I now had all of my unfortunate Dualshock 1's guts lying all over my floor. I figured I would worry about trying to but this mess back together again after I attempted to repair the Dualshock 1's Square Button. I examined the rubber piece that lies under the button and saw no problems with it. I looked at the button itself and saw nothing wrong with it. I was a bit puzzled as to what could be causing the button to jam then. I then noticed in the hole where the button resides, there was a tiny amount of nasty looking gunk. It was in the sides of the button hole, so it must have been pushing on the side of the button and causing it to become lopsided when pushed in, hence the occasional jamming. I used some trusty alcohol wipes to thoroughly get rid of any gunk I saw and hoped that this was the only thing causing the button to malfunction before.
Now that I had made my repair, I had to deal with putting the controller back together. I had no idea how this crap was going to fit back together. I spent nearly 2 hours trying configurations of the controller guts to see how it was supposed to fit back together. I finally was able to figure it out and attempted to put the controller's 2 shell halves back together. They would not close together at first, so I had to keep going back inside the controller and tried to make sure that everything was pushed down into the correct spots. After many of these attempts the controller shells finally started almost closing, I heard some pops as the pieces fit together and I rushed to grab the screws to make the this closure permanent. I used my strength to make sure that all the screws were in securely and worryingly turned my controller over to see if my repair had worked or if all my effort had been for nothing.
I nervously poked at the Square Button on my post-op controller and ….. it seemed to be functioning normally again!!!!!!!!!!! I tapped on the button continuously to see if it still jammed and it did not do so once! I tried this for about 30 seconds and I knew that the button was in great shape again.
My Dualshock 1 WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awwwwww how cute, the little guy started chasing his tail and got all tuckered out. He is back to his old self.
I did a dorky celebratory dance around the room (Really… I did haha). I had not felt such a sense of accomplishment and immense joy since beating Demon's Souls. After I had stopped I noticed a sharp pain coming from one of my fingers. I looked down at it and realized I had not escaped the dangerous surgery with no negative consequences. My finger had a new nasty blister residing on it. It was from the amazing strength I used to turn the screwdriver to close up the controller. I guess I just did not realize how powerful I really was….
OUCHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways…the blister was starting to get all puffy and it was right on the spot I would need to use if I wanted to play video games. I could live with this terrible gamer injury though; it was worth waiting for the agonizingly long video gameless period to end while my blister healed because my old Dualshock 1 buddy was ALIVE AGAIN!
I also realized that the fresh feces that was sprayed all over the Superman 64 cartridge was beginning to reek, so I cleaned that up as well and tossed the game corpse and poopy mess outside in the trash. Well, actually that game is a poopy mess even when it is not literally covered in one. So I really should have just said that I tossed out a poopy mess and a pile of feces.
I cannot even claim that sleep deprivation was the cause for this atrocious blog. I was well rested when I wrote this. This blog was based on a true story. Did I really expel my bodily waste onto a copy of Superman 64? You shall never know for sure!
muahahahhahaha(*farts*)muahahahahahahahahhaha
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9Mar 10
I have had no sleep for a day. YAY!!!!! you may say! Because despite my suffering this day, you know that a blog is coming that willmake no sense in any way.
I have some startling information for those belonging to the distinguished gamer nation. I shall tell you of a snack that I devour twice every 24 hours. While dining on this crunchy, chewy, party in my mouth treat, I automatically become extremely upbeat. Unlike some other edible crud, it holds the power to unleash an orgy of flavor onto every single eager taste bud. This addictive crack-like snack always has me coming back. In fact, until finding this miracle food which always positively alters my mood, I never would have foreseen a more scrumptious way to ingest protein.
I am a deranged lunatic poet? An hour ago I did not even know it.
I am actually having quite a delightful time creating this short wacky rhyme. I cannot think of another word that rhymes with rhyme. Really I lie, because I did already think of butt slime. I thought it was a waste of your time to hear such an immature rhyme. See my laziness is real, for I rhymed the word rhyme with rhyme time after time. My pure perfect laziness is so sublime.
The following conversation may give you a great elation. On the other hand, it could lead to your mind's irreversible devastation. So, in closing, be aware of the consequences of reading the following clas-sy exchange of words, keeping in mind that there will surely be an overabundant mentioning of things relating to turds. My dear blog reading folk, I warn you that this is not a joke. I swear by the beard of Zeus that it is true that this blog will contain an unnecessary amount of mentioning topics pertaining to poo!
Also, remember for the future that I shall never grow mature. My trademark as a sleep deprived lazybum will always be to write nonsense that is random!
OH YEAH. THe timestamp had to be deleted on the second half of this conversation because apparently gamespot's blog character limit is 20,000 characters haha.
Nonsense Talk
(10:05:39 PM) ME: arg 5 hour flatulence
(10:05:55 PM) ME: every 30 minutes about I gotta go in the bathroom and let out some wicked loud chains of farts
(10:06:09 PM) Rusty Shackleford: can you record this?
(10:06:14 PM) ME: lol
(10:06:25 PM) Rusty Shackleford: change your name to
(10:06:27 PM) Rusty Shackleford: buchholzman
(10:06:44 PM) ME: themightyanus?
(10:06:48 PM) Rusty Shackleford: yes
(10:06:55 PM) ME: madden?
(10:07:09 PM) Rusty Shackleford: i like madden
(10:07:17 PM) Rusty Shackleford: it is good
(10:07:26 PM) ME: thats rude
(10:07:45 PM) ME: no matter how huge and wrinkly he is, he is still a human being of sorts. He is not an it.
(10:08:27 PM) ME: lmao if i did record those farts
(10:08:30 PM) ME: I could title the video
(10:08:36 PM) ME: 5 hour energy review
(10:08:40 PM) ME: then just go straight to the farts
(10:10:42 PM) Rusty Shackleford: lol
(10:11:08 PM) Rusty Shackleford: i think you gotta curb the fecal stuff on your blog
(11:07:35 PM) ME: yea lol, i know i realized that too
(11:07:40 PM) ME: its starting to get old even too me
(11:08:06 PM) ME: theres only so many poo jokes one can make
(11:08:36 PM) ME: unfortunately i thought of a new pooword today
(11:08:36 PM) Rusty Shackleford: I'm not here right now
(11:08:39 PM) ME: turdnut
(11:08:46 PM) ME: i still find that funny
(11:13:11 PM) ME: maybe i will switch to pee jokes
(11:13:15 PM) ME: lol
(11:13:34 PM) ME: earwax?
(11:13:45 PM) ME: boogers?
(11:13:52 PM) Rusty Shackleford: ear wax...
(11:14:08 PM) Rusty Shackleford: i hate ear wax
(11:14:13 PM) ME: lol
(11:14:22 PM) Rusty Shackleford: i had a build up of ear wax when i was a kid
(11:14:25 PM) ME: ah
(11:14:29 PM) Rusty Shackleford: couldn't hear very well
(11:14:33 PM) Rusty Shackleford: then all of a sudden
(11:14:41 PM) Rusty Shackleford: the doctor found the build-up
(11:14:43 PM) ME: i always dont hear well, well a lot of the time
(11:14:55 PM) ME: because allergies makes fluids build up in my ears
(11:15:03 PM) ME: unless i take a nasal spray 2 times a day
(11:15:08 PM) ME: takes 2 weeks to start working
(11:15:20 PM) ME: and allergies randomly ****ing start and stop because of the crazy weather
(11:15:24 PM) ME: so i just live with it haha
(11:15:54 PM) ME: still better than earwax though
(11:15:58 PM) ME: i hate picking that out of my ear
(11:16:05 PM) ME: its chunky, yet greasy
(11:16:19 PM) ME: i hate when a big chunk falls out of your ear randomly sometimes
(11:16:22 PM) ME: feels so disgusting
(11:16:38 PM) ME: i think i will sneak some earwax into your food
(11:16:40 PM) ME: lmao
(11:17:05 PM) Rusty Shackleford: it hurt like hell when i had it taken out
(11:17:15 PM) Rusty Shackleford: it was stuck to my ear canal
(11:17:40 PM) ME: ow, how does that happen?
(11:17:44 PM) ME: using cutips too much?
(11:17:48 PM) ME: i heard that compacts it
(11:17:50 PM) ME: i never use it
(11:17:53 PM) ME: i use my trusty finger
(11:17:58 PM) ME: pinky to be exact
(11:18:10 PM) ME: because your not supposed to stick anything into your ear canal
(11:18:16 PM) ME: you could easily rupture your eardrum
(11:18:21 PM) ME: eardrum
(11:18:26 PM) ME: which would suck turdnuts
(11:18:35 PM) ME: picture that
(11:18:38 PM) ME: turdnut
(11:18:41 PM) ME: hahaha
(11:18:42 PM) ME: im sorry
(11:18:47 PM) ME: poo shall always be funny
(11:18:53 PM) ME: i just need to use those jokes in moderation
(11:19:15 PM) ME: all on brown assaults of fecal jokes can be overwhelming to the senses i know
Rusty Shackleford: no, it was fairly deep in my canal. it had been there awhile and stuck to the outer wall.
Rusty Shackleford: i didn't do anything to make it happen
Rusty Shackleford: it just grew there
ME: it grew there.....
ME: sounds like a demon
ME: or like a brain parasite
ME: it slowly grew hidden away....
ME: earwax spiders
ME: that would be terrifying
ME: spiders made of earwax
ME: your earwax giving birth to living beings
ME: that crawled out of your ear
ME: ive had 1 hour sleep in the last day so i aplogize for this conversation
Rusty Shackleford: lol
Rusty Shackleford: why the lack of sleep?
ME: wat if you pooed out earwax?
ME: with nuts in it
ME: and corn
ME: and carrots
ME: what else leaves with poo...
ME: celery?
ME: i had a midterm
ME: which i think i did horrible on
ME: may be my first d ever on a midterm
ME: its 20 percent of my grade
ME: so i can fix my grade still
ME: but ive really been slacking off this semester
ME: need to buckle down and make myself do all the terrible tedioius reading
ME: holy ****nuts
ME: this conversation is pretty funny
ME: at least to me
ME: since ive had no sleep
Rusty Shackleford: i thought you had been keeping up on the reading?
ME: nah not for this **** thought i could bs the midterm, learned that didnt work too well, maybe my guessing got me a c or b, I am pretty sure I have a d though.
ME: I have never done that in college, gotten worse than a C on a midterm.
ME: Hopefully I pull off a C with my procrastination/slacker powers.
ME: I wont find out for a week.
ME: I am really going to start doing all the reading now though. Means I will be doing like 60 or 70 pages of reading 7 days a week to get everything done.
ME: So will suck sweaty buttcheeks, but I managed to that a year ago when I had an insane workload.
ME: Dude, I got to post this conversation in a blog. Would you like your alias to be HANK HILL? or do you want to change it up a bit? Dale Gribble? Cotton Hill? Soda Popaski?
ME: or "Guywithearwaxfetish"?
ME: "?fundamentalistMaddendisciple_D_Bag?"
ME: "FamilyFeudFetish"?
Rusty Shackleford: Rusty Shackleford
ME: "Phatman"?
ME: lol
ME: rusty shackleford
ME: Thy will shall be done.
ME: Great mystical being who manages to get enjoyment out of the Turd and Eric awesome show Buttjob
ME: All Praise and glory be done onto you.
ME: I shall make bountiful offerings of 5 hour energy.
Rusty Shackleford: All praise and glory be done to Tim and Eric
Rusty Shackleford: Masters of lulz
ME: That is not funny. Jokes can only go too far before they get distasteful and offensive. That joke is vulgar. Free Speech only goes so far my friend. That is more damaging than public threatening to bring swift death down upon somebody. You shall be incarcerated now.
ME: O wait though I forgot you are a weird mystical being.
ME: So I shall send kratos after you.
ME: And he will make testosteronely manyells as he rips you in half.
ME: You may be a GOD, but you cannot defend against button mashing.
ME: WTF am I talking about.
ME: I noticed you stopped typing. You are probably just taking this all in.
ME: Watever, enjoy my brilliance.
ME: You know what has been bothering me.
ME: Toilets with motion sensors that flush the toilet.
ME: There are pros and cons to these devices.
ME: People are so ****ing lazy that they often dont flush, so these things fix that problem. However, if you happened to hate sitting on bare dirty toilet seats like me, automatic flushers detect the movement of you laying down the paper toilet seat cover so sometimes by the time you finally get to sit down on the can, the toilet thinks yoiu walked out of the stall and flushes and gets your ass all wet with splashback because you were not ready for the plumbingness machine to start its duties up!!!!!!
Rusty Shackleford: hahaha
Rusty Shackleford: that has happened to me
ME: I dont get why people dont flush the toilets though. Use a foot. Thats what I do. So I dont gotta touch the nasty metal handle, and that way I am not a wangbreathed asshat that leaves there smelly urine sitting in the toilet for the next lucky arriving citizen in that defiled stall.
ME: Yea it gets maddening sometimes.
ME: I have had to learn a technique to deal with the stupid motion sensor toilets.
ME: I learned to move super slow motion like when sitting down on the can so it doesnt think I am walking away after a dookie drop. I have nearly perfected this method now and have cut down on surprise mid-crap flushed by like 95%
ME: So **** you technology.
ME: Bring on the rise of the terminators
ME: I can handle that **** if I can trick toilet robots.
Rusty Shackleford: Terminating your bathroom experience prematurely
ME: Exactly, this is how the terminator beta was tested out. They figured if they could interfere with the most intimate and necessary function of the human body that mankind would implode on itself because it could not handle restroom chaos of this manner.
ME: On the other hand, the evil toilet robots do have some much kinder relatives like the motion sensor soap dispenser, motion sensor paper towel dispenser, and karate chop activated water faucet starter (ok you dont have to do a karate chop but if just feels so awesome).
ME: How come I can write such long rants about bathrooms in like 20 minutes, but I procrastinate on a 1 page paper until 3 hours before its due???
ME: A deep question to ponder.
Rusty Shackleford: you have so much passion for the subject of bathrooms
ME: I am getting hungry though..Frozen Taquitos time??? Or should I go with a 12am bowl of cereal?
ME: I know, but honestly we humans have to spend so much time relieving ourselves of waste, that creating a functioning and pleasant experience while doing so is something that I think should be the focus of all of top scientists in the world.
ME: Why is bathroom talk leading to me getting hungry... never mind dont want to think about that.
ME: TTYL Rusty ShackleTurd. I mean Shackleford. My apologies sir.
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2Mar 10
Unfortunately I fell asleep before I could add more to this list while in my tired random rant capable state. I spent 34 hours awake and slept for 12 hours after that. I am sure that was super duper great for my body!
Also. For those of you complaining about that Daniel Day-Lewis illustration in the last blog. I shall give you the backstory so it will make more sense to you. He ate a lot of beans. The opening stages of his bowel movement contained lots of explosive gaseous emissions. Those powerful blasts of poo gas ripped a hole straight through his pants. Consequently, solid poo logs had the escape hatch needed to jump easily into the environment.
Some things I hate.
1. Cheap Scratchy Public Restroom Buttwipes. Ow.
2. Bathroom stalls with no coat hanger on the door. WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT MY STUFF?? When I have a backpack, a wet umbrella, and a coat I need a freaking hook. I don't want to have to put my umbrella down on the feces covered floor and later have my umbrella drip fecal matter on me when I use it to block the rain. WTF am I supposed to do with my backpack?? The only solution when there is no coat hanger is to find the least damp looking section of the floor and rest my backpack down on that spot, making sure the smallest amount of surface area of the backpack is making contact with that vile surface. For my coat, I have to fold it over the top of the stall. What if some hobo yanks it down and steals it while I am on the crapper? It is not like I can chase after him!!! There is also the risk of someone's fart in the room causing a draft which blows my coat off its perch into the a filthy chunk filled toilet bowl.
I consider myself a connoisseur of crapping, so I know what I am talking about. If any of you reading this have a business or own a turdcake receptacle room building company, spend the mother ****ing dollar per stall it costs to put in a hook !!!!!!!!! JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST! (quoted from southpark, I love it)
3. People who when riding the bus do not move to the back. Every day I see these dunces standing at the front of the bus staring at you while you are crammed into position next to them. You look behind them and see the whole back of the bus has free standing room. How hard is to walk backwards a few steps? Do these people like standing in the front blocking the walkway so they can brush up against all the old elderly bus riders who smell like moth balls? Perhaps these people refuse to walk to the back of the bus have a bunch of moths living in their bodies' crevices and wish to massacre these moths with old people smell? Hopefully this is the reason. Because otherwise, they are just turdberry eating, crap nuggety, manure breath people that are somehow continuing to survive even with brains full of super yellow dehydratey urine!
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1Mar 10
I have been posting lots of actualy decent blogs that are coherent and readable. Well **** that. This a no sleep for 40 hours 5 hour energy type of day. You know what that means. Lots of randomness
and of course
There Will Be Poo! Maybe There Will Be Blood! too, depending on what was eaten.
I will post up the blog after my night cl ass tonight or tomorow. I am working on a list of things I hate. I am off to boring night cl ass for now.
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22Feb 10
Wow it has been awhile since my last blog. What can I say; I am a lazyhoboguy after all. Well here is an excessively long blog that will rot your brain and make up for my absence.
I have been getting in a good amount of gaming lately and picked up a few new games with some birthday money I got. I am now 21 and can legally drink. Although, I have no interest really in drinking alcohol anymore so this birthday was not as exciting as it could have been if I was a typical habitual overdrinking loud college student like many of my peers.
Two days after my birthday I decided to buy a 6 pack of Corona just because. It stayed in my fridge about a week before I even touched one. I did not like it much. It has been about 2 weeks since I bought them, yet 4 out of the 6 beers are still sitting in my fridge. I don't really understand why people like beer. It tastes nasty, it makes me feel all full and like a slob after, and they usually upset my stomach. Plus, I am cheap and would rather spend my money on something else. Also, if you drink beer for the purpose of turning into a super drunk person, why not just get some hard liquor and not deal with the super full feeling that beer gives you?
Anyways, back to gaming. I don't want a bunch of angry drunks realizing I trash talked their miracle beverage, so I am shall quickly change the subject.
The games I picked up recently are:
PS2
Amplitude
Family Feud
Lumines Plus
Rogue Trooper
PS3
Red Faction Guerrilla
I have not touched Amplitude or Rougue Trooper yet, so I don't have much to say about them. I absolutely loved Frequency, which Amplitude is a sequel too, so I am obviously excited to try it.
Also, here is a new animation I was inspired to make after playing one of the following games.
There are NO SPOILERS in the following Reviews/ Game Impressions
Family Feud (PS2)
This Family Feud game is terrible. I expected such, but I did not realize quite how terrible it would turn out. I got it mainly to try its online mode with a friend, but it turned out the online mode is most likely no longer functioning. Two other people and I all get the same error when trying to host an online game of this. In fact, one of these guys called the company to see if the game was officially offline now, and the guy had no idea what was going on with that game. My friend was the first person to ever call the company about it lol.
I wrote a quick review a little while ago about this game.
http://www.gamespot.com/ps2/puzzle/familyfeud2006/player_review.html?id=706595&tag=all-about;review1
I tell you what.
The only thing this game has going for it is its family creation system. I had about 10 minutes of amusement making Hank Hill and his family play the game. Here is a video of that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMGihV0rk4w
Once the novelty of that wore off, I realized that I can't stand to ever play this game again. That tells you something is really really atrocious, when even the most brilliant salesman of propane and propane accessories cannot save the game.
Lumines Plus (PS2)
This is a puzzle game that originally came out on the PSP. A guy I know had been telling me for months about how fun it was and then recently I heard that this game was created by the Japanese dude who made the game REZ. Finding this out made me very eager to try it so I picked it up off of amazon.
I really like this game. It is a deceivingly simple puzzle game at first glance. You drop squares that are made up of 4 smaller blocks that are mixed up in random combinations of 2 colors. You can flip this big square around and you try to line up 4 small blocks of the same color. When you do that those 4 small blocks disappear. You lose the game when the stacked up blocks reach the top of the screen.
What makes this game innovative is that all the time there is a scrolling horizontal line that goes from left to right. Your groups of 4 same colored blocks will not disappear until this scrolling horizontal line reaches them. You can get lots of combo points by adding more blocks to your group of 4 before that horizontal line reaches the mass of same colored blocks. This makes things interesting because you are always rushing to add more blocks before the line reaches that section so you can get the most points. However, you have to be careful because if you carelessly toss blocks down, you may miss and screw yourself over for the future.
Also, this game has a beautiful visual design and cool music. If you last awhile in the game, the visual theme of the game will shift and so will the music. It is nice because it gives you a cue that tells you when the difficulty is going to ramp up. When you're in the middle of tons of block stacking madness, it's hard to keep track of the level counter at the bottom of the screen, so the changing visual theme helps a lot.
This game is very very addicting. The game keeps track of your high scores, so it compels you to keep replaying the game over and over to beat them.
I had not acquired a new puzzle game in a very long time, but I am happy that this particular game ended up as my newest one.
Red Faction: Guerrilla (PS3)
My PS3 has been getting a lot of use after a few week period of me not touching it and that is because I got this game. I had wanted this game since its launch, but I am a cheapo and could not shell out the cash for it. It finally dropped down to 20 bucks for a new copy on amazon with free shipping and I could not resist.
I have probably put in over 10 hours in this game. I loved the demo of this game when it was released and played that for hours and hours. That is because the destruction engine in this game is simply amazing. Any building or object can be destroyed. Stuff breaks apart differently based on which weapon you use to attack it. You can ram a car through a building. You can cover your car with 10 mines, jump out of the car at the last second before it hits a building, and after its has crashed into the building you can detonate the mines on the car and totally devastate that once proudly constructed structure. The only thing in this game that cannot be destroyed is the ground.
There is not much story to this game. Basically you are part of a guerrilla movement that is challenging the EDF (Earth Defense Force) who are oppressing the miners on Mars. The voice acting is well done in my opinion, but the story just does not have much meat to it and is not fleshed out much. But who needs much of a story when the destruction in this game is so much fun.
This game is a sandbox game. Meaning you can choose to go wherever you want in the game world and do missions and other things whenever you feel like. If you feel like tracking down some EDF soldiers and blowing them up and fighting a small scale war with their respawning forces, you can. The game limits you to sectors of the map until you beat all the missions there and reduce the EDF presence in that area to 0 percent. The map highlights important EDF targets, usually big buildings and military structures that you need to blow up. I really enjoy this part of the game because coming up with a plan of action for taking out a fortified position and successfully implementing it is really fun. Or, you end up having your plan go completely wrong and you have to suddenly improvise and hope you can take out the building and survive the pursuing forces afterwards.
The weapons in this game are very fun to use. Your default weapon is a sledge hammer. Do I really need to explain the awesomness of this? Ok fine I will. It is such a satisfying weapon to use. It can one hit kill enemies. You can bash is buildings with it. A sledge hammer is just fun to use. The other weapons in this game are just as fun. Your other trusty weapon is remote mines. You can originally only place one or 2 at a time, but you can eventually upgrade that ability and currently in the game I can place 10 mines at once before I detonate them all. Mines stick to anything. It is really funny sticking them on the soldiers because they will start running around frantically and will eventually shake them off. Mines are great all around weapons in this game since they easily allow you to destroy enemy vehicles. A few well placed mines can take down massive buildings as well. Other weapons include an assault rifle, and assault rifle with heat seeking bullets, a rocket launcher, shotguns, a gun that disintegrates anything you shoot (people, cars, buildings, etc), and a gun that shoots electricity that can electrocute multiple enemies at once.
So far I am loving this game. It lacks a gripping story, but the destruction engine in this game is the best and most realistic one ever created. Yay for Geo Mod 2.0. I have not even tried the multiplayer yet and it looks really great as well.
No Rules: Get Phat (GBA) I have had this for years, but just recently found it again
Before you read further, watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsf7oes2BHA
I have decided to make this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7qHUWMGS4c&feature=response_watch ) the first in a series called "Unbelievably Terrible Games" which is up on my youtube account. I do not have too many crappy games like this in my collection anymore, but there are a few hiding in it. Whenever I come across a game that makes my blood boil from its shocking amount of mediocrity or outright blatant suckage, I will post a video of that game and add "Unbelievably Terrible Games:" before the video title.
I created a new playlist ( http://www.youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy#g/c/0E4390477A4A27CA ) where all other "Unbelievably Terrible Games:" videos will be located.
Here is a quote from the instruction manual to help you understand what this game is like.
"Background
One Eye Jack's got a kickin' life: Get juiced up with a bowl of Cocoa Soul Puffies, catch a little Snoop Nasty and The Super Homeez on TV, bust some airs with the crew at the skatepark, maybe even mix some phat beats after hours...
But when aliens from Planet Punkazz arrive, Jack's lifest_yle (gamespot wont let me typ sty le) takes it in the shorts. The Punkazzes say they're here to "get phat." But the Punkazzes don't want to serve people on a plate. To survive, they have to wack Jack's culture. And Jack don't play dat...."
Ummm yea lmao. Reading the instruction manual is much more entertaining then actually playing the game.
The story in this game revolves around One Eye Jack, who is some mutated freak kid who only has one eye, has white hair, and apparently thinks he is a hardcore gangster. He reminds me of like a little shriveled up Bart Simpson. He rides a skateboard and his weapon throughout the game is a slingshot.
The cut scenes in this game are the only interesting thing about it. They are like a comic book where One Eye Jack talks in gangsta talk about trying to save his precious cereal called "Cocoa Soul Puffies" from the "Punkazz aliens".
I had this game for many years, but forgot I owned it until this week. I remembered the game being frustrating as hell when I was a kid and it played just how I remembered it. The controls in this game are horrendous. You ride a skateboard or snowboard throughout the game and when you move left or right you glide for a bit. So it makes quickly turning directions or platforming needlessly tedious and sometimes near impossible. The developers have tons of sections where you need to make precise jumps on tiny moving platforms. The controls make this very very annoying. Also, you cannot shoot and move at the same time....Boss battles in this game randomly turn into a mediocre rhythm game where you press the buttons that scroll across the top screen. When you hit a series of the buttons at the right time, you press the A button and the boss loses health. Repeat that about 10 times and the boss dies. You are djing during boss battles and apparently the sound of you scratching is able to kill aliens and make them explode.
Also, the only reason I bought this game as a kid was because it included a free knock off tech deck finger board lol. I think that is the only way this game sold any copies. I believe that fingerboard broke shortly after I bought it too. -
5Feb 10
If this Peeping Tom monkey was in Sniper Elite on PS2 I would snipe him between his beady little eyes.
OOO AHHH OOO!!!! ME BRING A SNACK AND WATCH YOU GO POO!
One of my roommates hangs this towel on a rack over the toilet. It has 2 monkeys like this that creepily stare at me while I expel urine into the urine devouring receptacle. These perverted monkeys make me feel uncomfortable. Why are they getting ready to eat a banana in the bathroom? That is unsanitary! What if they lost their balance and dropped their food into the toilet?? It could splash the newly arrived urine in the toilet bowl back at me!! These darn inconsiderate monkeys…. I mean DAMN DIRTY TOILET LOITERING APES!!!!!!!!!
Also, you would think this monkey would be afraid of some pee splashback landing on him. Well considering monkeys do things like this **WARNING VERY DISTURBING I AM NOT JOKING DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE NASTY STUFF** ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADiZpOPRzFo ) I guess I should not be so suprised that this monkey is attracted to urine.
So, I am finally almost completely settled into my new place after being here about 2 weeks. I at least have pathways for walking through the room now. I am in the process of trying to get all of my game consoles setup at once. I have a NES, SNES,N64,GC,PS2,and PS3 and I want them all to be setup to TVs or monitors and be plugged into a power outlet so that I can play any of them whenever the mood strikes me. People who saw my room in my video ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpJ3k2NaeAg ) kept telling me it would never happen. Some people on a digitpress.com thread ( http://www.digitpress.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140542 ) told me to sell my collection and switch to emulation to save room. As expected, gaming blasphemy of that kind made me quite perturbed and even more determined to prove these naysayers wrong.
Well, This morning I spent an hour or so thinking of possible console setup scenarios and trying a few out. I am now completely certain I will be able to get all of these consoles hooked up and ready to play. Screw you people who told me I could not do it! A determined gamer geek is a force to be reckoned with and can accomplish unprecedented things!!!!!!
I did not game at all for about a week once school started. That was painful. But, I am happy to inform you people that this depressing state of affairs is no more. I have started replaying Sniper Elite on PS2.
SNIPER ELITE! (No Spoilers, any aspects of the story discussed are in the games intro already)
**EDIT** I decided to add the remainder of this blog to the review section for Sniper Elite. So you can read it here also ( My Sniper Elite Review )
This is one of my favorite PS2 games and I have played a lot of them. This is one of my favorite World War 2 themed games and I have played far too many games in this often stale and boring genre. Also, This is one of my favorite third person shooters. Yes it is set in a World War 2 setting, but it follows a fictional and interesting story. You play as a special agent guy whose enemy is not the Nazis or any other Axis power. His enemy is The Russians, but, more specifically, the enemies are the Russian secret agent people. They have a plot to get a hold of nuclear material in Germany to make their own Nuclear weapon. So in essence, you are starting to fight in the cold war while World War 2 is still going on. What is cool about this from a gameplay perspective is that in many levels you will encounter dueling German and Russian forces, but you do not need to kill them. They would rather shoot at each other than you. But of course I snipe all those guys for fun anyways muahaha.
Why do I love this game so much? It is just such a unique game. There is no other game that I know of that is purely focused on realistic sniping like this. You can adjust the difficulty/ realisticness of your single player campaign. I play on the rookie level.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
,some of you less enlightened gamers may proclaim to yourself in a giggly prepubescent frenzy, but this game is very challenging even on the Rookie difficulty setting. You see, enemies in this game are tough and they are intelligent. If they spot you they will run from you and go hide. Unlike in other games, when they get shot at by a sniper they have the common sense to go take cover. They will even try flanking you if you stay in the same spot too long. They often will sneakily toss a grenade at you if you camp in one spot too long after you are spotted. This makes things very intense and makes enemy encounters play out difficulty almost every time.
As for the realism of sniping, it is really great. On the Rookie Difficulty setting, gravity affects your shots. This means that based on how close or far away your targets are, you have to adjust your aim vertically to compensate. It makes getting sweet headshots on far away targets or from quick shots even more satisfying. Your heart rate also effects how you play on the Rookie difficulty setting. Think real snipers can sprint for 5 minutes then dive to the ground and hold their breath for 30 seconds to stabilize their shot? Well, they can't. If you do lots of running around you see a little heart rate monitor thing act up and if you try holding your breath to stabilize your scoped in view, it won't work until you catch your breath.
On higher difficulty settings, you can add even more variables to the gameplay like wind for example. This means that on top of taking gravity into making consideration when placing shots, you have to adjust your aim to the left or right depending on how hard the wind is blowing in either direction.
You know what else is great about this game? Sniping is fun. It is really fun. Especially when this game lets you compete for high scores on levels. You get more points for lining up 2 or 3 people and hitting them with one shot. You get points for "remote detonations" which means sniping explosives or having somebody trigger a tripwire explosive you set. You get points for headshots. Even cooler is that this game compares your scores with other players online.
Even though this game is about sniping, you can use other weapons. You have various machine guns and grenades/explosives to use. However, relying on these weapons will get you killed very quickly since they are so loud and the enemy is just as proficient as or better than you at using them. So, the game forces you to be a good sniper, meaning that you are encouraged to try to engage enemies from far away and take them out without others noticing when you can. You can use a pistol to sneak up on enemies and get silent kills on them too though.
This game also has the coolest headshots out of any game ever. When you happen to land a headshot, as soon as you hit the trigger the camera switches over to a view that follows the bullet from the instant it leaves your rifle. It follows the bullet until it makes contact with an enemy's unfortunate skull. It will also do this cool zoom in camera effect if you hit multiple people with one bullet or hit moving targets.
I have probably played this game for over 50 hours total in the few years I have had it. Every like 6 months I start replaying the campaign and get addicted to it again haha. This game even has offline split screen co-op which I imagine must be awesome, since one player could draw out and spot the enemy while the other snipes those enemies. This game also has online multiplayer.
I played 2 or 3 matches of this in the last week. I had a blast. This is one of the most tense and most satisfying online multiplayer games that is still playable on PS2. The enemy artificial intelligence in the game was pretty great, but human intelligence is even more challenging to go up against. It makes your victories that much more satisfying and your defeats become even more devastating.
Me loves me some sniping. Pick up this game people! This is a gem! If you like stealth/third person shooters/AWESOME SNIPING get this game. You will not regret it. If you only play Run and Gun shooters then this game may not be your cup of tea, but I think that if you give it a chance you can come to love it as well. This game is a bit pricey for a PS2 game. A used complete copy will run you around 30 something bucks at the cheapest. It is worth it though, believe me, but make sure you get the game with the manual. It helps explain sniping tactics and aiming strategies which help you get better at the game quite a bit.
If you plan to get into the online aspect of this game, check out this forum (http://sniperelite.hqforums.com/ ) If you ever want to play this game online with me. Just Private message me. I will cry buckets of manly tears when this game's online servers are inevitably shut down. Until that time though, I will snipe as many people in the face as I can hehe.
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21Jan 10
Moving sucks. Why can't somebody invent some teleportation device so I dont have to pack my stuff into boxes, pack those boxes on a dirty rented truck, then unpack those boxes in a tiny room, and then unpack in that room and have no way to walk through it for a week???
I got here on sunday. This room is really really really really tiny. It was not meant to be a bedroom. It has a window but no sunlight reaches it. When I wake up at 2pm (early morning for me) it is still pitch black in here. It bothers the hell out of me. I am going to buy a lamp timer or something to turn my lights on when I need to wake up. Otherwise, I wont realize its daytime and I need to wakeup for school lol.
But yea it is my fault I am stuck here for awhile. I was rushing to find a place before school starts, so I did not think carefully enough about how turdy it will be like living here. I now get 6 months of living in a batcave!
Here is a crappily shot video of my amazing room using a Playstation 2 eyetoy. Hopefully my violent thrashing around with the camera makes you nauseous. That would be cool. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpJ3k2NaeAg
Also, I dont know how many of you people have been paying attention to the whole Jay Leno being a butthead thing and wanting to take Conan's show back from him. It is a complicated thing. But basically Jay Leno is a buttfaced sleazebucket.
Despite your feelings on this issue. You must give Jimmy Kimmel tons of credit for this. This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long long time. Jay Leno is basically castrated on his own show Watch the whole thing. It get progressively funnier and genius as it goes along.
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9Jan 10
This conversation may make a bit more sense if you read this blog first .
Also, you grammar nazis out there may want to avoid reading this. This is a spur of the moment conversation so there is lots of crimes against grammer contained within this mass of text. I am far too lazy to clean up the grammatical errors. To save yourself from wetting yourself in horror, you may wish to flee this webpage as soon as possible.Also, here is the naughty unedited version of this conversation. http://lazyhoboguy.blogspot.com/2010/01/very-very-very-stupid-blog-enjoy.html
11:48:40 PM) Mr.Hill: F.W.Buchholz High School
(11:48:55 PM) ME: ?
(11:49:01 PM)Mr. Hill: http://bhs.sbac.edu/
(11:49:13 PM)Mr. Hill: i bet that school really stinks
(11:49:19 PM)ME: hahahaha
(11:49:42 PM)ME: farty weiner bucholz high school
(11:50:29 PM)Mr. Hill: lol
(11:51:34 PM)ME: ill be up for a long time to play something else, but guessing ur going to bed
(11:51:45 PM)Mr. Hill: yessir
(11:51:50 PM)ME: or searching for other buchholz things
(11:52:06 PM)Mr. Hill: i don't know why there is an animal on their site
(11:52:13 PM)Mr. Hill: it needs to be a giant *******
(11:52:21 PM)ME: fecalfeline
(11:52:39 PM)ME: or felion
(11:52:46 PM)ME: forget the spelling
(11:52:51 PM)ME: its a buchcat
(11:53:04 PM)ME: meowholtz
(11:53:54 PM)ME: "Siemens Foundation and College Board
Recognizes Buchholz
for Outstanding Math, Science Education"
(11:53:57 PM)ME: haahhahahahahahaahahahahahah(11:54:10 PM)Mr. Hill: i heard they have a great anatomy teacher
(11:54:19 PM)Mr. Hill: who makes all the students perform self enema
(11:54:51 PM)ME: lol
(11:55:10 PM)ME: Gainesville, Florida
(11:55:16 PM)ME: hey you can go for a visit(11:55:30 PM)ME: "New to Gainesville? Thinking of attending Buchholz?"
(11:55:31 PM)Mr. Hill: yeah, you know that kid i saw with the buchholz shirt?
(11:55:38 PM)Mr. Hill: that is the place
(11:55:41 PM)ME: lmao
(11:55:47 PM)ME: you nutjob Floridians
(11:56:07 PM) Mr. Hill:you are killing me with the buchholz jokes
(11:56:58 PM)ME: http://www.eteamz.com/buchholzboysgolf/
(11:57:10 PM)ME: those werent jokes
(11:57:15 PM)ME: those were quotes from their site
(11:58:10 PM)Mr. Hill: Buchholz boys
(11:58:12 PM)ME: "Buchholz boys duo ties for 11th at state:"
(11:58:13 PM)Mr. Hill: LOL
(11:58:29 PM)Mr. Hill: the kid in the back, HAHA
(11:58:34 PM)ME: "WELCOME TO BUCHHOLZ BOBCAT WRESTLING"
(11:58:43 PM)Mr. Hill: WELCOME TO BUCHHOLZ WRESTLING
(11:58:44 PM)ME: http://bhsbobcatwrestling.blogspot.com/
(11:59:02 PM)ME: "Support the Buchholz Bobcat wrestlers and come experience
the WILL to WIN. "
(11:59:05 PM)ME: o man....
(11:59:08 PM)ME: this is too much
(11:59:25 PM)ME: "Head Coach
BillyPankey"
(11:59:26 PM)ME: ahahhahah
(1/9/2010 12:01:29 AM)Mr. Hill: Bill Pankey wants some hanky panky from the Buchholz boys
(12:02:01 AM)ME: lmao
(12:02:04 AM)ME: this is just cla ssic
(12:03:42 AM)ME: "WELCOME TO BUCHHOLZ BOBCAT WRESTLING THE SEASON HAS BEGUN AND THE EXCITEMENT IS HERE!!"
(12:04:08 AM)Mr. Hill: WELCOME TO BUCHHOLZ BOBCAT WRESTLING THE DIAHERRA HAS BEGUN AND THE STINK IS HERE!!"
(12:06:10 AM)ME: lmao
(12:06:32 AM)ME: dude, would you mind if I posted the buccholz part of this convo on my blog? This is ****ing hilarious
(12:06:42 AM)ME: I could change your name if u want so crazyies dont im u
(12:07:00 AM)Mr. Hill: yeah, sure
(12:07:08 AM)Mr. Hill: call me uhh... Mr. Hill
(12:07:25 AM)ME: lmfao
(12:07:26 AM)ME: ok
(12:10:36 AM)ME: alright i really need to go eat
(12:10:44 AM)ME: this buchholtz talk was too distracting
(12:11:41 AM)ME: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AkmxZUzsuvE/R5eQc3TJAjI/AAAAAAAAAEI/AyQ8umScLuY/S660/logosign2.jpg
(12:14:45 AM)ME: holy ****
(12:14:47 AM)ME: holy ****
(12:14:49 AM)ME: http://www.eteamz.com/BuchholzBoysGolf/guestbook.cfm
(12:14:53 AM)ME: they have a guestbook!!!!!
(12:15:06 AM)Mr. Hill: oh my GODDDDDDDDDDDDDd
(12:15:28 AM)ME: ah, we have to register for some **** account
(12:15:30 AM)ME: its free though
(12:15:33 AM)ME: I am going to do it
(12:18:39 AM)ME: meh
(12:18:44 AM)ME: it sounds like too much of a hassle
(12:18:52 AM)ME: damn you buchholzes!!!
(12:19:07 AM)Mr. Hill: they are truly buchholzes to the end
(12:19:27 AM)ME: yea the terms of service to register are a bit stinky
(12:20:05 AM)ME: No wonder why this poor buchholz high school has zero signatures in their guestbook.
(12:20:19 AM)Mr. Hill: you mean their holtzbook
(12:20:46 AM)ME: guestbuch
(12:21:32 AM)Mr. Hill: ha
(12:21:43 AM)Mr. Hill: a buchholz for guests to use at their own convenience
(12:22:22 AM)ME: lol
(12:22:24 AM)ME: well I need to go eat
(12:22:32 AM)ME: this site gave me tons of laughs
(12:22:52 AM)ME: wonder if their sports jerseys are all brown
(12:23:12 AM)ME: The janitors must spend a lot of time cleaning up in the bathrooms
(12:23:17 AM)ME: buchholzes can be very messy
(12:23:18 AM)ME: lmao
(12:23:26 AM)Mr. Hill: lol
(12:23:34 AM)Mr. Hill: especially if they have had korean food [This relates to a recent experince of mine. I shall tell the story in equation form. Crappy Korean Restaurant's Food + My Digestive System = Long Time On Toilet]
(12:23:40 AM)ME: lol
(12:24:00 AM)ME: alright well ttyl
(12:24:01 AM)ME: food timeSome of you may wonder why the person I am talking to is labeled as "Mr.Hill". Well you sleazy skimmers of blogs, had you read the whole thing you would see why lol.
I shall show mercy to those of you who fear big blocks of text like the one above. I will just tell you why the other person is shown as "Mr.Hill". We like the show King of the Hill. It is muy hilarioso. I was not sure how many stalkers and everyday lunatics frequent my blog, so the other guy came up with the "Mr.Hill" alias to protect himself from being tracked down by you crazies lol.
Internet blog? Bwwwaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
A few of you overly curious readers may wonder why there is random spaces between lines of dialogue. Well, you can thank gamespot for that. I had to mess with a link to get it to work in gamespot and for some reason it messed up the formatting. NO matter what I did I could not get rid of those blank lines. O well.
Also, here is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen in my life. It may also scar you for life. Click at your own risk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtkSVCd4JSo
Someone showed me this video in a gamespot.com offtopic forum which did not get locked. So, it is nothing too bad, but I would not open this up at work or something.
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31Dec 09
I posted my last blog on December 13th. It is now the December 31st. 31 is 13 backwards in case you missed the amazing significance of the previous 2 sentences...
I like how I never mentioned anything Christmasy/ holidays related in a blog. I think I will keep that up. Oh wait, DOH. I just mentioned it. You know I like the grinch character, all before he turns good at the end lol. Christmas kind of annoys me a bit, I do not know why.
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... It is 6:24 am. Not sure what I should talk about. It has been over 2 weeks since my last blog, so I know you are all eagerly awaiting for another glimpse into my lazyhobomind.
Oh yea, I have been watching the Sopranos. I finished season one yesterday. I really like this show. Mafia stuff is always so entertaining. I got the 4th disc of the season from Netflix last night, assuming there would be 4 hour long episodes on there like the other 3 discs. I watched one episode and realized it was the last of the season and discovered the rest of the disc only had special features. Ugh... now I must wait 3 or 4 days for my next rental to arrive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I bought another PS3 game. It cost me 30 dollars used. I was not happy with that price, but I had promised that one haze loving fool from a previous blog containing a Rant about a smelly turdgame . I had promised this guy that if he bought Jak X: Combat Racing by 12/21/09 that I would keep haze and do one online co op playtrhough of the games unbelievably horrid single player campaign. I ended up at that buy 2 get 1 free deal where I saw horrible crimes against all of gamerkind. I could not resist selling off Haze and so I did. I broke my word about keeping that crudtastic game, so I had to buy some other game that this dude wanted. He wanted me to get another online co-op ps3 game. Having already gotten cheap vomity games like Army of Two and Haze for that reason, I decided that if I did get another ps3 online co op game it would have to be at least slightly good. After surveying my options like that 50 cent blood on the sand game... I decided getting Call of Duty: World at War used for 30 dollars was my best bet.
**********SPOILERS*************************************************************
Call of Duty: World at War (PS3)
SinglePlayer
I finished the singleplayer campaign of Call of Duty: World at War. I would rate that like a 7/10. It ripped off way too many movies and games. It copied cod4 in many ways unsuprisingly. It had the "sniping level" like cod4. I love sniping. I still somewhat enjoyed this level but its blatant rip off of cod4's idea and the movie "Enemy at the Gates" really annoyed me. The sniping scenario starts out almost idenetical to a scene in that movie.
This game was obsessed with flamethrowers and fire. Like it was fun using one to burn down enemy infested grass and trees for 5 mins, but after that holding down the trigger button and flailing my joystick around to light stuff on fire got boring quick.
This game also did not seem to run nearly as smooth as cod4 (aiming response and frame rate), but maybe that was just me.
I did enjoy the gore in this game though lol. It has Saving Private Ryan level gore when people get near explosives. O yea, this game also ripped off the D-day scene from that movie. It even had the above water and under water camera shots of the soldiers who got shot out of their boats. I personally think that Conker's Bad Fur Day on N64 did the best verion of this scene lol.
The singleplayer campaign also seemed a lot more linear and hostile to free movement around the environment than cod4. I ran into lots of invisible walls and it annoyed me. At least in cod4 you had buildings which had real walls, so it did not feel as limiting as running into a random fence or line of trees that had some type of supernatural ability to keep me from moving past them.
Also, this game made me realize how sick of WW2 games I am. I am sick of having to shoot mother ****ing stupid garands! At least this game changed it up by having like 40 percent of the campaign be based in the Japanese side of WW2.
Another minor annoyance in the game was that it had those "modern" crazy randomly moving type of intro graphic thingamajigs that cod4 had. They were almost comical to me. The screen would flip around way too often and unnecessesarily. These intros just seemed so out of place in a ww2 game set in the 1940s.
Alright, enough of my *****ing about the single player.
Multiplayer
Luckily the multiplayer of this game is quite good. I would rate it a 8 out of 10. It basically just takes cod4 and gives it a new World War 2 theme. I find the sniping to be much more enjoyable in this game when compared to Call of Duty Modern Warfare. In Cod4, they made sniper rifles so weak that they might as well had shot rubber bullets at people. It would take 2 shots to the chest at least to kill people usually. I know they wanted to keep things balanced, but as a sniper you are at a severe disadvantage since you are useless at closerange. The game likes to randomly spawn people 10 feet away from you too. The whole point of being a sniper is that they have long range powerful weapons, but are crappyin close range figthing. If you take away the effectivenes of their weapon they are pretty useless. Luckily Cod4 had this stupid sniper rifle that was rapid fire but weak. You had to just learn to spam shots very quickly and use it like a machine gun. It was fun, but did not feel like a real sniper rifle. In Cod5 the sniper rifle is powerful and can kill with one hit to the chect, but like all the WW2 weapons reloads slowly which makes it a balanced weapon.
Also, Nazi Zombies is freaking insanely fun. This is a mode where randomly dead nazi's start rushing at your shoddy run down location. You have lots of windows, but they are only covered by a few hastily placed boards. The zombies try to get in by tearing the wood planks from the windows. You got to kill them and repair the windows when you have time in between the zombie slaying. The amount and speed of the zombies increases with each wave and things get intense quickly. I think this mode is better than the entire single player campain lol.
**************End of Call of Duty: World at War Spoilers********************
Wow, this blog has morphed into a insanely long boring one. Cool. I feel proud of myself.
Demon's Souls (PS3)
I was eagerly waiting to be done with finals so I could hop back onto this superb game. I had not played it for 3 weeks because I did not want to fail my finals. This game was so addicting that when playing it I got very little done, so I had to ignore this marvelous game for far too long. When I finally did get to play the game again.... I finished the game within 5 hours. The game took me around 65 hours total to finish. The ending was a bit unsatisfying. But the game was so good that I still think the game is amazing. I felt very sad after finishing it though, because I craved more demon slaying, but I did not feel like replaying the game again on the harder difficulty just yet. I rated this game a 9 out of 10 and it was one of the best gaming experiences I have had this whole year.
Eye Toy Play 2 (PS2)
I just got this in the mail today. I got the game and eyetoy camera itself new for around 20 dollars. The game has a bunch of minigames on there like table tennis, some ninja smacking game, a chef game, a drumming game, and many others. My mom even played it lol. It is pretty fun because it is so different. I can see myself growing tired of it after a bit though. I also got this because I found drivers that let you use the camera as a pc webcam. The eyetoy also works on ps3 for video chat and stuff.
PixelJunk: 3 in 1 Pack (PS3) [Imported from Korea]
I also imported my first game ever this month. I got a new copy of the PixelJunk: 3 in 1 Pack off of ebay for around 30 dollars. It contains 3 PSN games on a disc. It was not released in North America. I refuse to buy digital download only games, so I am very happy to be able to get a hard copy of these games so that I can actually play them.The disc edition of these games also has the game soundtracks for 2 of the games and includes PS3 themes based off the games.
PixelJunk Monsters is the only game I have played extensively so far. It is a tower defense game. That means that you have an area to defend and monsters will march in from parts of the map on their evil buttmunchy mission to destroy the area you are defending. You run around the map setting up towers in trees that will shoot at the monsters in different ways. There are lots of different tower types. They can shoots arrows, cannon balls, lightning stuff, fire and other things. The towers can also be upgraded by killing enemies or if you move your character over to one and dance. LOl, I am serious. Dancing makes your towers get stronger. You also have to collect coins things from killed enemies. These are used to buy new towers. You also collect rare gems or something that can be used to research new tower types or quickly upgrade existing towers. This game is very addicting.
The game is so awesome it even has a built in video capture thing that lets you record footage of you match and upload it directly to youtube. I decided to use it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSyT5-DvTMM
The other 2 games I have barely touched. I have not started PixelJunk Eden at all, but I played its demo months ago and loved it. I only played PixelJunk Racers for less than 10 minutes, so I cannot claim to have a valid opinion of the game yet.
I guess I should shut the hell up now. I have been blabbing on and on and on. It is now 7:29 am. I should probably go to bed. I am sure there are lots of typos in this long rambling used diaper of a blog. I should fix those typos with some dilligent proofreading, but that will have to wait until tomorow...the Sun is rising. My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adult Swim knows about the evils of the spawning of a new day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKZ4pNfOhJQ&feature=related
-
13Dec 09
So anyways...Bah. I am like a gaming crackhead. I have been trying to avoid buying more games since I have little money coming in for myself, but stupid deals break down my defenses.
Estarland.com is having a deal where all used games get you free shipping. So, I bought Star Wars Battlefront ($12 complete) and Nascar Thunder 2004 (Don't laugh, it was for testing purposes. It was said to have a secret LAN mode that only shows up after you enter a code. I tried it and it works. It was only 4 bucks for a complete copy)
Soon after this, shamestop (gamesuck...gamestool...lamepool...tamedrool ...gameslop...lameslop...flamingplop...LOL, fine ok gamestop) sent me a sinister email declaring that the cruel and oppressive giant corporation was having a buy 2 get 1 free deal on used games. I felt like I was entering into a hostile place, a place rivaling the evil and hostility of the feared kingdom of Boleteria (If you get this reference to this PS3 game you are awesome) The trip to this terrible store of tortured games (who have been ripped of their dignity, their covers and manuals tossed away, leaving them naked, violated, confused. Now they are trapped in a horrible existence, sitting in generic plastic prisons created by the Gamestop corporation.) started out ominously. There was a great rainstorm that made me have to drive extremely slowly and the roads were all but deserted. It seemed as if the general populace sensed that something was wrong about this gloomy night and hid away to protect their lives.
Once I arrived at the parking lot of this terrible establishment I had to walk swiftly from my car through the relentless pouring rain. This journey was only about 50 feet, but I was drenched to the bone after completing the brisk walk. Before even entering this death dealing gaming shop, I saw , to my horror, 2 sections of shelving sitting outside the store. As the distance between them and I inevitably shortened, I realized that my worst fears had come true. Contained on these shelves were nearly half of this merciless store's Playstation 2 stock. These poor wonderful contributions to the rich history of gaming were placed outside in a horrendous rainstorm with only a small part of the roof covering them from above. I examined these unfortunate fellows and as I had feared nearly all of them were completely drenched. The cases, cover art, and game manuals were all covered in foul smelling water. The proud identities of these games were fading from existence as the ink that made up the manuals and cover art ran off the paper...
I rummaged through the wounded and dying games. I knew most were too far near gaming death and I had to ignore their eerie pleading stares and rescue the few games that were only mildly injured from the rain. I grabbed a few that were not yet mortally wounded and were able to be healed with some wipes from my sweater.
Emotionally scarred from the insane watery genocide I had witnessed, I stumbled into the store with my few liberated games. The warmth and dryness of the privileged games in ths store only made my rage grow about their gaming brothers who were left for dead just feet away. But I realized I mustn't blame these fortunate games. It was not their fault, but the fault of the evil regime that ran this domain. I gathered up a stack of these dry games and brought them to the counter, a place where many poor games are sold into slavery by their Jack Ass owners. The strange creatures that stood behind this counter looked up at me. While looking into their blank stares, I informed these monsters about the condition of the games outside in the storm. They shrugged and said management told them to do that. So, these 2 masses of flesh in front of me were merely the footsoldiers of a stronger and hidden force...
A Gamestop Employee
A Gamestop Employee Emerging from A Refreshing "Sleeping" Period
These pawns of the gamestop corporation went about their task of finding the game discs for the cases I had brought to them. After a very long time, one of these teenage minions informed me that one of the game cases I had brought them had no disk behind the counter. "SUCH CRUEL TRICKERY", I thought to myself. But I restrained from voicing my rage, realizing this game was beyond saving and I should focus on saving another. I went and picked out another Playstation 2 game and brought it back to these evil employees. After yet another extremely long amount of time, this miniature satan informed me that once again the game for the case I had brought had apparently vanished. "These games are suffering so much that they must be escaping themselves", I thought. "But, without their artwork and manual, they would not last long in the outside world. A lone disc is a vulnerable object in the hostile realities of this bleak world." Again, I cautiously glanced through the store, hoping to find another video game to set free. I found a gameboy advance game and brought it back up to the counter. While operating the cash register, one containing a collection of cash earned through the annihilation of once noble games, I saw a box full of "$1.99 and under games". I looked through the dozens of EA sports and madden games, my expression changing to let these games know that even though they had committed their own atrocities towards gamers in the past, not even they deserved to be presented in paper sleeves like this.
I tried to connect with these strange beings behind the counter by nervously conversing with them. Saying, " I have never seen so many Madden games in my life" while pointing at the box of $1.99 and under games. The amoral employee let out a horrible laugh and said " I wish we could sell all the PS2 games in paper sleeves like that" Immediately, vomit rose up in the back of my throat. I realized that these former normal human beings had lost all traces of humanity now and were but empty shells dealing out the torturous destruction delegated to them by the rulers of the kingdom of Gamestoptaria.
All I could think about was getting out of this repulsive location, while the gamestop minion babbled on and on about taking a survey and being entered into a raffle for some dirty blood-soaked money. After my receipt was handed to me, I walked out of the store. I am a changed person. I shall never forget the things I saw this day. My grateful liberated games will always remind me of why I must avoid this place for as long as I can. But deep down I know, that there is a sick dark side of me that may overtake my sensibilities and con me into returning once again....
Games Liberated From The Kingdom of Gamestoptaria
PS2 SOULS
Gun
Alien Hominid
Sega Clas*sics Collection
Medal of Honor Frontline
Onimusha 2: Samurai's Destiny
Max Payne
Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
GBA SOULS
Konami Collector's Series: Arcade Advanced
C la ssic NES Series: Castlevania
I may have hated the cruelty of this sick twisted kingdom of Gamestoptaria , but I am no angel or similar bird-like dead guy. I sold HAZE to these monsters. I hated the game so much that I have commited this terrible atrocity in order to ensure the game has a long period of unbearable torture at the hands of Gamestoptaria's demons.
Hopefully though, the unprecedented terribleness of HAZE can slowly eat away at the foundation of this vile kingdom, causing it to one day collapse on top of itself from the rapid manner in which the ASSHATical disease contained in HAZE has spread.
-
6Dec 09
This is for a destructoid.com contest. http://www.destructoid.com/get-serious-and-win-serious-sam-hd-shirts-156572.phtml
We are supposed to have something related to the site in the picture and make a serious face.
I know many of you must be eager to glimse at the face of the madman who gives birth to such shocking and mind-destroying blogs. So here you go nosy people. I don't know if I will keep this blog up permanently, so enjoy this while you can lol.
This was my first entry.
Then I saw that others were posting a bunch of pictures. I had a bunch, so decided to post them. I don't care too much about the prize anyways if I get disqualified (serious sam hd on pc and a tshirt).
**edit**
YOU DODGED A HORRIFYING VISUAL EXPERIENCE BY GETTING TO THIS BLOG TOO LATE...
JUST READ THE COMMENTS TO HEAR ABOUT THE TERRIBLE EYE-DESTROYING IMAGES YOU AVOIDED
I assume you are rolled up in the fetal position now, rocking back and forth and consoling yourself after witnessing such a horrifying cluster of images.
-
2Dec 09
So.... I bought a used copy of Haze for PS3 on Black Friday for 8 dollars. I knew it was going to bad, but I thought reviewers were just punishing the game for the hype with their very low reviews. Free Radical, the developers, have made some of my favorite First Person Shooters ever (Timesplitters Series), so I felt like I had to feed my curiosity and see if it was true that such awesome developers could really make something so many people hate with a deep passion.
Well I played this game 5 or 6 hours and I could not stand any more of it. After coming to the realization that spending any more time with this game would make me vomit and crap myself uncontrolably, resulting in a very unpleasant and smelly death, I talked to this crazy guy on msn (nosferatu1922) who I frequently talk with about my gaming adventures. I had mainly got this game so we could play it's online co- op mode.
I was going to make a big huge rant just for my blog, but after making this spontaneous one in msn I was too drained and discombobulated to write another.
I also should note I woke up at 5 am this morning and had 4 hours sleep before that. Sleep deprivation always leads to my most scholarly and G-rated blogs doesn't it?...Some Spoilers about the TURDgame Haze are in this rant, so you have been warned.
Also, since I am sleep deprived in this, very angry at wasting 5 or 6 HAZEY POOPNUGGETY hours of my life playing this... I say a lot of random and potentionally offensive crap. So you have been warned about that too lol.
I thought it would save me time just to show you this rant about haze, but then I rememberd gamespot doesn't like lots of needless cursing. It took me a long time to sift through this and make it gamespot blog appropiate.
PSSSSSSSSSSSST, for you naughty people. Here is the unedited version of this convo.... on my other blog that doesn't force horrible cencorship on me!Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:36 PM):
*wow haze...
*the single player is terrible
*ive played a few more hours
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:37 PM):
* ****ing boring as hell
*there was like 20 mins of the game when it was intersting when u switch sides, but thats it
*im near the end I think
*moving a ****ing ****** missle
*i hope im almost done
*i wont be able to play this **** online co op
*its terrible
nosferatu1922 says (11:38 PM):
*WRONG!
*we shall make it interesting
*with backstabbing goodness
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:38 PM):
*its ****ing as bad or worse than army of 2...
*free radical....
*where u on crack
*?
nosferatu1922 says (11:38 PM):
*bull ****
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:38 PM):
*its bad man
*really bad
*i wanted to like it
nosferatu1922 says (11:39 PM):
*ARMY OF 2 IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST GAME EVAR!!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:39 PM):
*its ****ing repetiive, and the gunplay is just boring
*ugh free radical has betrayed me
*this game
*imagine if I paid 60 for it haha
*I would commint a mass murdernosferatu1922 says (11:40 PM):
*we need to at least try it
*also i dont think your even close to the end
nosferatu1922 says (11:41 PM):
*if your moving the missle...
nosferatu1922 says (11:42 PM):
*i think your about 1/2 way
nosferatu1922 says (11:49 PM):
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIiK-fVypTo&fmt=5
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:29 AM):
*im halfway....
*dear zombie jesus
*i give up
* **** this game
*it shall be sold back
nosferatu1922 says (12:29 AM):
*would you like one of these ---->
*rkewmxn (Was a Smiley Animation. He blew his little smiley brains out. Shame I cannot present it for you here.)
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:29 AM):
*yeas that is what i mean
nosferatu1922 is sending a sound*.
Action: Play "Come On!". Show in Panel: Show
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:29 AM):
*i hate this more than army of 2 i think
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
*no way in hell am i playing the co op
* **** this game
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*we need to at least try and play haze in coop
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
* **** it
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*WE NEED TO TRY!!!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
*its terrible
*noooooooo
*I refuse sir
*its too bad
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*WE SAW ARMY OF 2 TO THE FINISH LETS TAKE THE MASTERS CHALLENGE!!!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
*I would rather put a pineapple up my ass then play any more of this game
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*you aint no hitler >.>
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*but man
*this is soo bad
nosferatu1922says (12:31 AM):
*whats so bad about it
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*I thought people were exagerating
*its so ****ing ****ty
nosferatu1922 says (12:31 AM):
*its a reletively average shooter
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*boring ass repetive combat
nosferatu1922 says (12:31 AM):
*pretend your playing it on the ps2
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*long pointless walks to artificially lengthen the game
*no sprint
*so you walk even slower
nosferatu1922 says (12:31 AM):
*then it BECOMES AMMAZING
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
* ****ing 2 enemy types...
*boring ass weapns
*boring ass everything
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:32 AM):
*the only cool part was when he trips out and shoots up the mantel people
*after that its just awful again
*I am sorry to say this but free radical deserved to go bankrupt after making this fecal berry
nosferatu1922 says (12:33 AM):
*okay, lets go burn our copys of tsfp3 then
*THAT WILL SHOW THEM
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:33 AM):
*no **** that, you know what I mean
*their money problems were warranted
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:34 AM):
*this game was total ass in video game form
*not good ass
*stinky 500 pound hairy stretch mark covered ass
nosferatu1922 says (12:34 AM):
*so more cushin for the pushin?
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:34 AM):
*lol
*man this game
*its as bad as soldier of fortune payback
*army of 2 was better
nosferatu1922 says (12:35 AM):
*what the hell
*you need to calm down
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:35 AM):
*ughhhhhhhhhh you dissapoint me free radical
nosferatu1922 says (12:35 AM):
*it was average
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:35 AM):
*I must go exectue an innocent monkey now as revenge
nosferatu1922( says (12:35 AM):
*AAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVV EEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGG GGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:35 AM):
*its was bad
*below average
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:36 AM):
*it wasnt unplayable or broken
*but it was boring as hell
*its like a 5.5 out of 10
*6 out of 10 max
nosferatu1922 says (12:36 AM):
*you need to crank up the difficulty then
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:36 AM):
*maybe, but even then it would be boring as hell
*there is no strategy to the combat
*just run at them and hold down the trigger or wait for them to do the same to u
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:37 AM):
*2 enemy types??!?!?!
*cmon
*wtf
*boring as hell
*ughgghghghghg
*crappy ass vehicle handling
nosferatu1922 says (12:37 AM):
*..............
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:37 AM):*ugghghghghgh ghghghghghghhghgghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghgh ghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgh ghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgh ghghghghghghghghghghgh
nosferatu1922 says (12:37 AM):
*well lets play coop
*NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWZZZZZZZZZZ
*or tommarowazcdjaklfn
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin is sending a sound*.
Action: Play "M16"
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:38 AM):
*no
*I will put a bullet in my skull before that occurs
nosferatu1922 says (12:38 AM):
*yes we will be shooting people with guns in the game
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:38 AM):
*I am selling this game back as soon as possible
nosferatu1922 says (12:38 AM):
*did you even play multi?
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:38 AM):
*yea
*it was meh
*wasnt terrible
*but not good either
*was just a nade spamfest and teamkill fest
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:39 AM):
*and the mantel trooper just *** * the rebels every time
nosferatu1922 says (12:39 AM):
*bull****
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:39 AM):
*i only played like 30 mins of a team mode
nosferatu1922 says (12:39 AM):
*rebels allways ussually wins
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:39 AM):
*but I really have no interest to try it anymore
*lets just wait until i get cod5 , then we can online co op
*because this **** is ****
nosferatu1922 says (12:40 AM):
* Come on!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:40 AM):
*lol I am mad I payed 8 dollars for this
*lol
*it is worth 1 dollar
nosferatu1922 says (12:41 AM):
*coop is worht 7 more dollaersz
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:41 AM):
*and that is only for the meh multiplayer
*that single player
*uggggggggggggggh
*i cant imagine co op being fun
*same **** game
*just with 2 people now
nosferatu1922 says (12:41 AM):
*4 peoplez
*on insane mode
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:41 AM):
*so, now its just a crowded **** game
nosferatu1922 says (12:41 AM):
*with flamethrower
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:42 AM):
*stop defending this game, deep down in your evil cold black heart you know this game is a steaming pile of rancid horse maneur
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:43 AM):
*heh, you care if I post this in my blog
*THis convo
*about my hatred for the game
*I was going to rant about it in the blog
*but already did it ehre
*here
nosferatu1922 says (12:43 AM):
*i say its an average shooter and with the price you pay for it nowadays makes for a great experienc
*COOOPZZNLJNLKAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWZZZ
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:43 AM):
*no
*I refuse
nosferatu1922 says (12:43 AM):
*YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:44 AM):
*hey so u care if ur im name is in my blog, since your paraonid in all
nosferatu1922 says (12:44 AM):
*i say its better then halo 1 & 2 PUT TOGETHER
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:44 AM):
*or I can change your name to something else like "******wholikeshazeforsomestrangereaston"If you made it through this vile trash.... You are a very strong willed person and deserve a treat. Well it is also just as vile lol. But you know the risks of reading my blog, so I blame only YOU.
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20Nov 09
I don't know if you guys noticed , but in my last blog I mentioned that I found mold under my window in my room. I was at first trying to convince myself that it was just a scuff mark or some dirt, but later that day I looked at it more closely and realized that it was for sure mold, and it was over a humongous section of my wall. The more walls of the room I checked, the more mold I found. It was even in my closet. You know that wooden legged table that my TV sat on in my gaming setup blog?? Its back legs were covered with mold, and I had to throw it out. Apparently mold is no new problem in this neighborhood. The buildings are townhouses, meaning they are long connected sections of apartments. They have flat roofs mostly. But even worse, the sections of the buildings that have normal triangular roofs are usually attached right behind or to the side of the flat roofs and they are like a story higher. This means that all the water runs off of the high up triangluar rooves and stays on top of the flat ones. The designers of this neighborhood deserve repeated kicks in the nads for this "brilliant" design.
The mold was really bad, so I had no choice but to move my ass out of there as quick as possible. The next day I managed to get all my stuff out and am living back with my parents until the semester is over in a month. I now get to spend 2 hours each way commuting to school. I take a boat for one hour and then a train for another hour 2 times a day now. I have to wake up at 5 am 2 days a week! That is usually when I go to sleep lol.
Anyways, I live (well lived) in San Francisco, one of the few cities that puts a lot of focus on its public transit system. Even a city that cares about its public transit system still manages to have an unreliable and piece of crap one. I can only imagine what the public transit in other cities must be like.
I SEE NO EVIDENCE TO VALIDATE YOUR CLAIMS!! You may be thinking to yourself angrily. Well, like I have mentioned in previous blogs, keep your damn pants on! I will give you some proof.
Well perhaps this guy should find some new pants.
The second day of commuting to school, the trains broke down. I had to take a shuttle bus instead, wasting an additional hour of my time. Fast forward to 12 hours later, I am going to start my trip back home. I assumed they must have fixed the problem and the trains would be up and running. They still weren't. Luckily, someone just returned from dealing with the crappy shuttle busses and informed me that the trains were still broken before I took that route
Teleport your mind 2 days forward. Shockingly, the trains actually work on my way to school. Although the trains had no mechanically problems, my particular train was invaded by a lone zombie hobo. I kid you not. As the train was nearing the school, I heard a weird grunting noise. I looked around the train and could not figure out where it came from. About 15 seconds later, I could hear another slow grunting noise and located its source. It was some old guy, with bloodshot eyes, pinkish/black humongous bags under his eyes, and a thin layer of white colored beard stubble. He had a small duffel bag, so I was not sure if he was a homeless guy, simply a crazy lad that wandered onto the train, or somebody high on some type of drug or model airplane glue. Once the train stopped I had my answer, but until then I got the treat of hearing
"aargh. aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghaarrrrrrgh. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH"
for the next 5 minutes.. As soon as the doors of the train opened when reaching my stop, this interesting character promptly marched himself over to the nearest trashcan and started digging around in it. I hope he found something nice. If he really was a zombie though, he would be disappointed since there were probably no brains in there.
On the way back from school, in the middle of the train trip the driver pulled to a stop and informed everyone to get out. He had no real reason just that his superiors told him to do this. We all had to get out and wait for the next train, while our previous train put up a sign "not in service" and slowly slinked away in the opposite direction. While this only cost me another 10 minutes, it was very annoying because it occurred during rush hour. I had actually managed to get a seat on the first train, but since the driver kicked us all out, on the next train I had the privelage of standing up on it for 40 more minutes. I have to carry a backback full of various school related crap, so it becomes quite heavy.
Well I should not just focus on the negative I guess. This new train I had to get on at least allowed me to experience something interesting. As we pulled into my stop, the train driver announced the stop in a Donald Duck s_tyle (apparently s tyle is a naughty word to glitchspot.com) voice ( If you have no idea who Donald duck is… ) , continuing to make duck sounds for a few seconds after he announced the stop lmao.
Oh google image search, you teach me so many wonderful things. How else would I know that Elton John dressed up as Donald Duck at a concert?
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9Nov 09
I seem to have a pattern of posting a blog at least once a week. This time it has been over 2 and I have had nothing very interesting to blog about. So thought I would just say random crap happening to me and on my mind. I am sleep deprived and operating on 5 hour energy right now, so who knows what this blog will devolve into.
1. "(8:33:48 PM) ME: my bucholtz cannot contain the power of the flatulence caused by this mysterious potion
(8:34:08 PM) ME: the pandoras box of poo gas has been unleashed onto the cosmos!!!!"I just really said this to someone seconds ago. 5 hour energy gives me gas.... Bucholtz is apparently a real town in Germany (sick freaks lol). This was discovred in Call of Duty 2: Big Red One on Playstation 2. It is one of the multiplayer maps. That particular map is pretty bad actually. One might even say it stinks....
When I typed Bucholz Germany into Google, this joker popped up.This guy should invest in a better fitting sweater.Why is his tongue out? His tongue should not be out. Buchholz + Scary German Guy with tongue out = A website I would never want to see, but the site probably is extremely profitable.
I am delighted to find out that buchholz is also the name of Red Sox Player LMAO. I want to be on his team. I could say "HEY, Buchholz get your head out of your ass!" or "Buchholz focus on your defense. Do not let any balls get past you!"
That jersey is suprisingly clean for someone named after such a vile region of human anatomy. I guess he did not want to reinfore stereotypes of buchholzesess being low in the hygiene depatment.
I wish I was enrolled at this school so much...
2. I recently have been watching random 1990s cartoons on Youtube. Such shows as "Gargoyles" and "Life with Louie" were watched alot by me as a kid. Shockingly these 2 cartoons are still entertaining to watch a decade later.
3. I have seen the worst television show EVER MADE. This travesty of a show is called "The Tim and Eric Awesome Show: Great Job!". Look. I like stupid humor. I like randomness. This show is soooooooo stupid and soo random that it is unwatchable and completely lacks anything funny. Please do not subject yourself to this terrible show. If you find this show funny I lose all respect for you as a person. I will never be able to understand the handful of people who think this show is some new revolutionary masterwork of sketch comedy. In reality it is a low budget show where 2 idiots wander around drooling overthemselves and make their show terrible because that is their whole joke. They make their parodies of stupid crap just as stupid and craplike as the things they are parodying. That does not make a good show. It is not clever. It is just stupid and craplike. This show makes me angry just thinking about it.
The anger I just experienced from thinking about this show at least made me momentarily forget about the gas attack I am fending off. This is the first positive thing I can say about the show.
4. I realized I am a procrastinator and that will never change. I waited until 7 hours before my history ****to start writing a 6 page paper. It was a book review of 2 secondary sources. I got it done and it turned out pretty well, but damn why must I stress myself out for no reason like this. O well.
5. I have put in over 60 hours into Demon Souls on PS3 in 2 weeks. That game is addicting. Level 5 in it is cheaply designed and made me dissapointed in the game since the rest of the game was fair and well designed.
6. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 on playstation 2 is insanely fun for some reason. I dislike skating in real life. But this game is very fun. I played it for many hours this weekend when I should have been getting ahead on that previously mentioned 6 page paper. I really like wallriding for some reason. Do people do that trick in real life? "Let's just ride my skateboard on a wall for no reason..."7. It looks like the window in my room leaks water. It looks like there is mold underneath my window now. I think I will ignore it.
8. I recently got this shelf liner thing. It amazes me. I layed it down on top of my microwave, so my glasses and other things up there won't slide off and break. That thing works so well. You literally cannot slide any flat object layed on it. It is like some bizarre magic.
9. I watched that Dirty Jobs show on Discovery Channel for the first time. That host annoys me a bit. He tried ridiculing a supervisor on that show that he had never met before. He just kept making lametastic jokes that all the supervisor does is sit on his butt drinking cappuchino's. I find it funny and lame because he is just trying to appear to be an "average joe" like the workers on the show. Really, this guy probably makes tons of money and is more like that supervisor. Perhaps he is having pyschological trouble with this and needs to lash out at those resembling his income level lol. I don't know what I am talking about lol.
10. Mythbusters on the other hand is freaking awesome. They shot a frozen chicken out of a air cannon. It broke straight through 12 panes of glass. But, a thawed chicken could only break 2 panes of glass. Poor fellow. Also, the bigger guy on that show has a huge mustache. It bothers me. It always is scattered in different directions and is not symmetrical. I think it needz a trim. He reminds me of that old cartoon character guy with the giant red mustache. I cannot remember his name. He had a cowboy hat and thick eyebrows as well. Was he a cowboy? I don't know. Somebody fill me in on this. I think he was in some shows with bugs bunny. Was he texan? I think he was a short fellow.
Myess! This is who I mean. Thank you Sector-7 for pointing him out.
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24Oct 09
I have never really been much of a rpg guy. It is not that I didn't like them, but I just thought it would take too much time and energy to get into them. My ps3 had been sitting around collecting dust for a few months and I felt like I needed to finally buy another ps3 game to put an end to that situation. I got a 25 dollar gift card to gamestop and had a very hard time deciding which new ps3 game I should get because I know I will not be buying another for a very long time. It was between Red Faction: Guerilla, Valkyria Chronicles, and Demon's Souls. I could not decide at all between the 3 so I just went into the shamestop to pick on the spot.
Crapstop made my decision easy because for Red Faction: Guerilla the only copies they had were the "new" ones where they violated the game by wripping off the plastic and taking out the discs. I refuse to buy "new" games.
The only copy of Valkyria Chronicles they had (was there the week before) was now gone too.
So, they had sealed copies of Demon's Souls and I picked one up. Although, I had to ask them for a sealed copy. The guy went and found one and then said "How come you want it sealed? Do you plan on never playing it? This really pissed me off. I said "well if I am going to pay full price for a game I want a copy that isn't already opened by your employees."
Anyways, I started playing it last night and played it about 6 hours last night and 4 hours so far today. It is very addicting and well worth the purchase in my opinion. I am a RPG noob, but even this games difficulty does not put me off very much. I think people greatly exaggerated the difficulty of this game. This game is about as hard as a good NES game, meaning there is lots of trial and error/pattern memorization. But, the difficulty is not cheap. When you die it is because you messed up.
I am still suprised I am liking a RPG so much haha.
