Time has come again when I plug in some old games and commence play. The only next generation console that can hold my withering attention span is the Nintendo Wii. Bizarrely, the best games for the system are the ones that ignore all that gimmicktry and stick to the more conventional route. That's no bad thing. Just a bit pointless in making the control system a remote.

Anyways, as always when I'm stuck for new NEW games I always jump back to the good old PC classic range that I have built. Rather than get back into DIablo 2 like everyone else is doing right now because of the announcement of DIablo 3, I've been playing Thief and Thief 2. Two incredible games that not many played because everyone is always busy playing the next iteration of that evil game, FIFA.

I'm also playing Fallout 2 with the female character this time round, as well as the good old never disappointing masterpiece Half Life. I also got the mods for System Shock 2 and I must say they do bring some life into the game like never before.

This will have to do until I get some motivation into writing something.

Paper Mario rules. Get it if you have a Wii. Just download it.

Yep, it's past midnight and I thought I'd type this before I go to bed.

New games, all for the Wii:

Super Paper Mario
Link's Crossbow Training+Wii Zapper
Super Mario World
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Super Mario Bros
Super Mario Bros 2
Super Mario Bros 3
Kirby's Adventure
Street Gangs aka River Side Ransom
DBZ Tenkachi Budokai 3 ( I didn't get that)
Alien Storm (my mom and dad love that)

Still need to get Snake for Brawl!

Night night!

I hate it when famous people get into game making simply because they're famous and are "Keen Gamers". Their ideas on what makes a good game are soooo far from what actually makes a good game. Using the Hollywood template of sorts (what the hell this is I have no idea. Obviously it's something to do with Hollywood, but what the actual template is, one can only assume). There's nothing more intoxicating with venom than game developers saying:

"Making games now is similiar to producing Hollywood movies."

Whoever uttered those soul destroying words need to be castrated in a bag and thrown onto a sea of spikes with acid on them. The moment this happened, every Hollywood junkie who saw the little comical dollar signs (complete with arms and legs) running round came out of the woodworks of that famous sign and instantly moved into the territory, complete with the Hollywood ideas. Thanks to that person, I hate you! Hollywood in all sense of the word, actually means "Destroy all artistic merit, integrity and desicrate what's left of the artist's body, mind and soul". You want a sci fi narrative in a game? Make it like Aliens. You want a fantasy setting? Why make it look and feel like a Lord of the Rings film! You want an action game? Just make it like every so=p1fi gq3i0fowehjil

I could go on like that, but the truth is there's only a few games that have a game only plot that couldn't and shouldn't be made to film. I of course speak of the excellent Deus Ex, the triumphant Half Life and the glorious Bioshock. I respect these games and I just wanted to point that out.

So here we go:

1: Make the script like a summer blockbuster.
No, let's not. The moment you make a 10 minute story stretch hours with an interactive side is the moment you destroy the story. Quake 4 is guilty of this. Guys! You didn't need a story! You needed to make a game! And look what happened, you got downgraded on quality because of it. It's not like the name Quake means anything to gamers does it? ¬_¬ Tacking on a film screenwriter is another downfall. This person you so insistently intent on bringing into the hype is used to writing 120-200 page scripts. Games with any sort of deep narrative are closer to 800-1000. How can anyone maintain that much dialogue at such a quality with a film background is asking for sheer trouble. Bioshock is the pinnacle of good script writing, and without any Hollywood influence in sight that makes it all the more better. In fact, Bioshock was more inspired by literature than Hollywood. See where I'm going? Hollywood bad.

2: It's more cost effective to include advertising in games.
Okay, I admit it. Having advertising in games does help with costs. It's when they tack on these five evil words.

"It makes it more realistic."

The moment I hear that is the moment I belittle, the game, the game developers, the game publisher and the person who said it. I hate it when people say this and I hate the fact that they think we need to be told that it'll make the game more realistic. I think we've got past the point of being wowed when we see, I dun know, Nokia in a game. It's now irritating. I also hate how it's in your face rather than subtlely.

3: Famous actors.

No, no NO!!!! Any famous actor that has cash thrown at them to voice a game character is the biggest waste of money ever. Like all stuff that come from Hollywood, it doesn't mean it'll be a guranteed success. Most actors of today can't act to begin with and any chance of them impressing me with their whiney, high pitched squeaking need to be killed. I just, just can't stand it. That's why I like Rockstar. I may not like their games that much, but at least they stick to unknown actors who can actually act and avoid all that Hollywood ****.

4: Famous actors/musicians/directos who get into game designing.

What!? What the.... HELL!?! They have no clue, no clue on what makes a good games. All they do is grab certain things they like from other games and slam them together and hope for the best. I can't stress enough how much, how much I hate it. They have the nerve to tell people that they haven't got what it takes to get into movie making or music making, yet when they make games they're all high mighty. Well no more! I can say it quite loud and proud that none of these famous **** have any clue on designing games. Just stick to what you know man and stay away from the medium that I love most because you're ruining it.

5: Using famous peeps to promote games, like that Pharrel guy and Halo 3.

He looked so bored, and if I go any more I'll get banned.

I have to stop here because Hollywood are ruining things for the rest of us. Hollywood is money and as soon as you involve Hollywood in anything it stops being entertainment. The quality dips severely and the stuff of today is so dreadful and nauseating it makes me feel like I what to slit their throats. I'm dead serious because what was once a unique and exclusive entertainment medium, that is games, is now destroyed by Hollywood's nagging interference. Games are meant to be fun. I want that fun back. I want to actually have some level of enjoyment from games. But now they cost too much. The marketting costs too much and Spielberg's salary on contributing a couple of ideas to a game costs too much. So anything that holds ANY new or exciting gameplay moments gets catapaulted into the sun, never to be seen from again. Only a few games of today are any fun. I hate Call of Duty 4. I can't stand it. I also absolutely loathe Halo 2 and 3 after it made more money than most Hollywood movies, OF ALL COMPARISONS. I hate Hollywood and it can rot in its own arse, because that's where it likes to be most of the time.

Oh yeah, games are becoming that way. Stuck in its own rectum. Thank God for Clover/Platinum Games, Grasshopper, Tim Schafer and the bedroom coders. I salute you all because you can flip the bird at Hollywood and say to me

"You know what, this thing you like. Well you can stay with it because as long as we're around you'll have games that are made by genuine gamers who understand the pros and cons of gaming!!!"

And that thought alone is reason enough to stay in gaming.

So yes, with the new weekend comes new games and the following I have:

Super Smash Brother Brawl for the Wii (what else?) Can anyone actually play the game with the Wii-mote and Nunchuk? I have to use my GameCube joypad. It just works better. Which begs the question why they decided to wait for the Wii to release this game¬_¬ Anyways, it's a good game indicated by my personal Wii message of the day that I spent 10 straight hours on it, neglecting Mario Galaxy and No More Heroes. Plus Children Of Mana and Advance Wars: Dark Conflict, Ninja Gaiden Sigma and getting the extras in MGS4.
***SPOILER***

Paper Mario for Wii's Virtual Console. Best 7 pounds I ever spent. Paper Mario is perhaps THE must buy from Virtual Console. I would get the other games, if I didn't already have 8 versions of each of them already. Plus how can I play Super Metroid on the Wii without the cool Snes joypad? Or any SNES game for that matter. Though Paper Mario works well with my GameCube joypad

Gunstar Heroes on Wii. I can't play this properly, so I have to fork out for the classic controller ¬_¬. I cannot play it properly with the Wii-mote or Gamecube controller. It's just too awkward. I want to jump and shoot at the same time and these control methods don't allow such a difficult move

Command And COnquer 3: Kane's Wrath. I haven't played this at the moment because RTS games aren't my bag baby. It does look more difficult than C&C3 though. ANd you don't need C&C3 to play it! That's for the 360 by the way, I should have mentioned that first.

Rayman 3 for the GBA. A surprisngly good game, it's a nice little platformer and perhaps Rayman's best outing on the portable side.

Why won't they release some really cool games on the Virtual Console? I really want to see Chrono Trigger, Earthbound and Super Mario RPG. None of these games came out in Europe and I can gurantee you that all these games would sell extremely well. I for one would get all of them in one go. I want to play them legitmately or without resorting to the annoying importing business. I'm also surprised that they never released Super Smash Brothers either to commerate the PALs release of SSBB. Ah well. Grunt grunt and grr grr.

For some reason, MGS 4 has an insane fascination on Snake's cigarettes. In every single cut scene, he crops up. He crops up in the most unsuspecting manner. In fact, I had a bit of fun playing a sort of Where's Wally/Waldo game. I forgot to note down how many times Mr Ciggy crops up, but it's a lot. First, the most obvious appearance is with the installing screens. Then, in the first briefing cut scene, Sunny and Old Snake wrestle over them. Snake even has a monument dedicated to the cigarette with an ashtray overflowing with cigarette ends. If that's not the most holy of objects, I don't know what is. Then when he's being examined by a certain doctor, she takes his cigarette away and the camera more or less focuses on it. You briefly glimpse at Snake's distress of him not having his cigarette. He tries all sorts to get his hands back on it. He eventually succeeds and the two hook up again. Snake's a complete rebel because of his disregard of ignoring No Smoking signs, not because of his serial killing shenigans and weapon dealings.

All hail the mighty cigarette, says Pandaramaster as he lights his tobacco stick of death.

I would have loved to have seen Snake grab someone with CQC (everytime I perform a CQC move I shout out "CQC") and burn the victim's neck with a cigarette. Mwhahahahahahahaha. And if you think that's cruel, remember, he does use syringes and knifes here people!

And never ever play this game with parents in the same room. I'm unfortunately in this position of having the HDTV and PS3 hooked up in the sitting/living/front/family room and I had to endure many comments and chatter during pivotal moments in the plot. Many of the following comments appeared frequently:

"Well that was weird."

"He's still not dead." For that my counter arguement is how many films has Michael Myers been in? 10 wasn't it? Or something ridiculous. That shuts them up.

"What is she wearing?"

"I wish that man with the eye patch would stop coughing."

"Why does he wear an eyepatch?" I explain why he wears it, and correcting them on the termonology.

"What does it do?" Grrrr.

"What's happening? Why are those men shooting at you?"

"How did he not see you there?" Because I pwn the guards.

"Why is she screaming?"

"When is this (cut scene) going to end?

"Put the Wii on now, I want to play Wii Sports, I'm getting bored."

And many many more.

There's nothing more frustrating then arriving at an important moment for them to start talking at that precise moment! Especially my Dad, he still thinks games are games and not stories. Bloody hell, he owns all versions of Space Inavders and that's all he'll ever play! Where as I am the art auteur and have moved on from mere gameplay elements. Granted, all games do need that aspect to succeed. I'm looking at you Fifa.

Oh, and for those who have completed what was your rank? Mine was Eagle because I killed so many guards with headshots

MGS 4 review (bear in mind it's crap, I'm not the best writer out there! )

In other game related news, I retract the statement about Mario Galaxy being the best Wii platformer. It's the best Wii game out. I have 29 stars so far, because of playing is sporadically and going from one game to the next. With MGS 4 done, I need to concentrate on one game. So in between that, I've played about 5 in one go. I haven't completed GTA 4 because I lost interest in it. It gets boring, a flaw that will always destroy GTA for me. I need to play more of Children Of Mana and I haven't scratched Advance Wars: Days Of Ruin! I also need to progress further in No More Heroes. I'm rank 9! Grrr. I'm not that bothered by Alone In The Dark to be honest (my 18 year old brother likes it a lot though), I also have my Orange Box back! Mwhahahahahaha! Only 5 months of nagging to get it back as well. Grr. They never asked me anyways to lend it out, damn brothers. I also want to complete Ninja Gaiden Sigma. It would make it my third time completing it. Hopefully it won't take me 2 years to complete this time round. Damn that Ninja Gaiden Black and its hard mode...

I've made a wish list of my next games. I definitely want Ninja Gaiden 2. I also want it for the DS. Though which one I want first is difficult to decide. I may get it for the DS first, or may not! All my worries are deciding what game I want next There's no other Wii game or PS3 game I particularly want, perhaps SSBB but that's about it. Anyone recommend anything?