It was a long standing tradtion on game sites across the internet to post a series of photos of the E3 booth babes each year, that is until 2006 when booth babes were outlawed by ESA and any exhibitor caught with scantily clad ladies working their booths were fined $5000 on the spot. Partly to blame for the worst policy change in the history of man was Show Director Mary Dolaher, who is now the CEO of IDG Expo.

Staring into the face of evil...

Why someone would want to stop us men from getting all geeked out over a curvy female dressed like Lara Croft is beyond me. Who could ever forget the DOA bikini dance show?

Okay, maybe this was a little creepy.

Last year there were no booth babes to be seen as far as I know, but this year they made a little bit of a comeback, although dressed alot more modestly than year's past.

Microsoft had a number of ladies working the event.

Nyko's ladies

I'm not going to make a full scale argument for the return of booth babes to E3, just feeling a little nostalgia for the old days when us guys got an eyeful of skin and weird costumes during every E3 event. What guy didn't enjoy seeing a life size Bloodrayne?

Or Tecmo's elaborate setups like this one from the recent Shanghai expo - Chinajoy.

I feel like I'm in the game! Anyone up for a game of butt bump?

Oh well, so goes life it seems... we just get a big ole DENIED stamped across our foreheads. In an effort to show us how it's supposed to be done, here is my friend Nadia working a MMA expo in Honolulu last week. She is second from the left and that's MMA legend B.J. Penn in the middle, who is from our island.

Anyways, if you are at all interested in seeing the ladies of this year's E3 (and I know that none of you are), Gamesradar was kind enough to put together a little page just like we used to see in the old days, before we all were neutered and made sterile by the ESA.

Gamesradar E3 Ladies

Excuse me, I'm trying mightily to digest E3. It's like Thanksgiving, or a really big lunch.

Big kudos to Gamespot for the live feed. They may have messed up with the first two conferences but the live coverage has been really good. I've had the feed going at work for about 6 hours each day and it's been cool to check in and see the cavalcade of developers and industry folks filing in.

Brain, Ryan, Kristen and everybody there is doing a great job.

Me and my buddy Lou had big plans this week, we were going to fly to visit Kelly in Canada and jump the pond in her backyard with her's and Chris' new motorcycles. Seeing how we had never done any jumps like that before, we figured they wouldn't mind. Besides it would make for an interesting vblog for GS (you could see my amazing abilities for yourself).

Unfortunately we couldn't put together the scratch for the plane tickets seeing as how they've added a $300 fuel surcharge to everything, so we wracked our brains trying to think of something cool to do instead.

I thought we could paint our neighbor's house black, so that all you saw at night was lit windows, but Lou had the brilliant idea of going fishing for a Great White shark instead. What fun!

First we needed bait, so we grabbed this kid that was wandering the beach looking for his Mom.

He was a bit scrawny, but we were too lazy to carry a heavier kid.

Then we needed a boat, so I called up my buddy Earl to see if we could borrow his. He said it was fine as long as we brought the boat back in the same shape we took it out in.

Lou had to sit on my lap and we towed the kid behind the boat like chum.

We took the boat out about 20 miles off shore, it took a little while to get out there and we were drinking alot of beer so we weren't paying very close attention. At some point though we realized that the kid was no longer at the end of the rope. We lost our bait! Crap. Now we were going to have to improvise.

Lou had eaten a bunch of squid the day before, along with a bag of pork rinds and chocolate milk, so he figured he could pinch a loaf that might work. It did. Within 5 minutes this sucker showed up.

Lou started screaming like a little girl and running around the edge of the boat, knocking all the unopened beers into the water. We had a long drive back to the shore - what were we going to do without any beer? I had no choice, but to jump in... luckily I had recently watched this movie, so I knew what I had to do.

I just had to concentrate - what would Sharkboy do? I know! He would throw it a frisbee bomb! As soon as I picked up the frisbee I could see the shark's eyes light up. I threw it out above the water and sure enough the shark took off after it.

The shark went back under for a moment and then...

No more shark. Man, if I hadn't watched Sharkboy the other day I wouldn't have known what to do. We picked up a few chunks that were floating around, but then we got attacked by some smaller shark/cat like creature that was scavenging the messy leftovers. It bit Lou on the hand and then hissed at us. We had enough for one day, fired up the boat and took off for home.

Next week I plan on going grizzly bear hunting with very sharp forks. Anybody want to join me? C'mon, it will be fun... it always is.

Amazon is running a special on both Dark Sector and Turok - $20.91 per game, which is almost half-price. I'm considering getting Dark Sector, what do you guys think?

Kelly is only one I know who played Turok, I was planning on skipping it, I still think I should skip it - anyone willing to argue I should get it?

So what is the deal with everyone saying "I mean..." these days?

It's starting to drive me nuts. Everyone from athletes, to political pundits, and everyone in between has taken to over-using these words, the same as "like" was so abused for years.

There appear to be three main reasons for using "I mean", the first is the obvious ploy of buying time, in a lame attempt to not use "um" instead. So you say "I mean..." and I know that your brain is feverishly trying to come up with something to say. But you know what? I'd prefer a measured pause as you take your time, it's okay, I'll wait just so I don't have to hear "I mean" used three times in the same sentence.

The second use is to bolster what you are saying, as if using these words "I mean..." before you say something means that you really mean it. But doesn't this sort of imply that anything you say before it doesn't mean as much as the things you say after it? Is there different levels of "meaning" something? Doesn't that kind of make you a liar? The only time you're telling the truth then is after you say "I mean".

Finally, the last use is a request for affirmation - I really love cheesy fries man, you know what I mean? Why are they always asking me if I know what they mean? I understand English so I comprehend what you just said... if you want me to understand on a deeper level, just say "you feel me dawg"? That makes more sense even though, technically, you just asked me to feel up your dog, and that's nasty.

So have any of you noticed this abuse taking place? I mean, what are people thinking right? You think we could find better phrases to use, or become smoother in our delivery, you know what I mean? I mean, it's getting kind of ridiculous.

I don't get it. I spent a ton of money, decorated until my fingers actually bled, and invited anyone that looked me in the eye over the past year, but my party was a complete and utter bust. Where did I go wrong?

I ordered this awesome entranceway and put it up in the driveway:

Isn't this spectacular? I think I'm going to leave it in front of the house for the rest of the summer.

I really wanted to do something different this year and make my party stand out so I decided to eschew the normal 4th of July party food of cheesburgers, hot dogs and beer. Instead I offered a plethora of raw food choices and my own homemade moonshine. The food was neglected, especially the raw chicken and uncooked macaroni salad, but the moonshine was a hit.

I might have made it a tad too strong.

For entertainment I hired Blight the Clown. He was the worst clown ever, what a miserable SOB. He drank three jugs of moonshine, ate all the raw chicken and left the party with every girl in attendence, leaving me with the two fun volcanos above. I should have realized that "blight" means crop disease. Now my lawn and every bush and tree within a 2 block radius is dying.

Blight - the party assassin. You ruined everything!

Next year I'll keep it simple - candy made to look like burgers and hot dogs, a banjo and tuba band, and I'll make a beef taco flavored moonshine. You are all invited.