• 11Nov 09

  Why Do Not I Like THANKSGIVING?

  The FOOOOOD!!!! The NASTY NASTY FOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!

  Cranberry Sauce this!

  Turkey that!

  Tryptophan nap!

  What's with STUFFING?! It' just STUFF! Whose idea was it to pile a bunch of STUFF together and call it FOOD!? NASTY!

  Ever heard of a Turkey Buzzard? Yeah BUZZARDS! That's what you're eating! They just take the BUZZARD off when Thanksgiving rolls around to make them seem more appealing! NASTY!

  Ham! PIG GUTS and BUTTS! NASTY!

  Cranberry Sauce! BUT IT ISN'T EVEN SAUCE!!!! I don't understand!!!! NASTY!

  Pumpkin! Have you ever carved out a pumpkin or even just been around a pumpkin for Halloween perhaps? I don't want to be eating that. Whose idea was it to bring over decorative left overs that littered our yards, porch steps, fields and side road ditches from the previous Holiday and insert them into our mouths during the next Holiday?!?! NASTY!

  Greens! Or Collard Greens for those who really get down. Why!? It's leaves! Leaves and Grass! Stems and all! And if you're really lucky you'll find a piece of........what is that? A Mouse Pellet?! Oh that's meat!?!? NASTY!

  Oh how could I forget.....GRAVY!! EW! NO! JUST NO!! This slop looks like snot and diarrhea got together and said, "Let's Coagulate!" GOD NO! And you people just douse it over everything! Really?! Your turkey, mash potatoes, stuffing and ham aren't complete unless they're drowning in phlegm!!?!?! NASTY!! NO! NASTY!!!

  Speaking of Mash Potatoes.......Mash Potatoes! Even has "TOES" in it's name! I don't eat toes. Do you eat toes? Unless you have some nasty foot fetish you don't! What is a mashed potato? A potato beat up for being so darn NASTY!

  Butter Beans! What a cruel joke! Butter doesn't taste like that! NASTY!

  String Beans! Where's the string? I just see NASTY!

  Broccoli! My god. This word looks German! And we all know how the German's get down. Their cuisine has messed up their vocal chords! Everytime they speak it sounds like a crime. Ugly language. NASTY!

  Peas! Don't even get me started! TOO LATE!!! These little balls of crap in disguise may look small, but they pack a punch. They will knock your taste buds right on out! Oh my jesus! They have like little stored packets of moosh inside! What is that? Who eats something that sounds exactly like a bodily function in which we perform in order to rid ourselves of waste?!?!?!?! Even in some places, people drink it! That's right! They drink Urine! Well hand me a cup! Too far? Did I go too far?

  Well people went too far when they decided to eat things that grew out of the ground! Who likes Vegetables?! Who likes peas!? Nobody! N-A-S-T-Y!

  THANKSGIVING is MANSLAUGHTER in disguise. Think of all the poor nasty animals slaughtered to fulfill your bellies. All of the turkeys......all of the pigs......all of the...............well that's about it isn't it.........Well think about the freaking Pumpkins Darnit!

  Stop forcing these excruciating expectations upon me every single time this time of year comes around! Don't make me feel as if I have to eat these people's nasty food! I'm not a murderer!

  And when did it become okay to make Christmas an accessory to murder?! Ever notice how Christmas has just become an extension of Thanksgiving!?!?! It's all the same freaking food!!! TRAVESTY!!!!

  I love Christmas! Don't taint it with the Unbridled Prepostery that is Thanksgiving!

  It's an emotional rollercoaster! "Time to open presents!!!!!!" "YAYYYYY!!!!!!!" "Time to eat!!!!!!" "PLEASE MOMMA NOOO!!!!"

  Come on Obama! Where's that freaking CHANGE we can believe in!?!?! CHANGE THINGS!!!!!!

  Take the Turkey Holiday away! What did Turkeys ever do for us?! Put us to sleep with that Tryptophan Poison! I can't open up presents if I'm sleep! So it's okay when we're put to sleep, but god forbid we put an animal to sleep! Double Standard! That's NASTY!

  *NOTE* The contents of this Blog Post are purely for _____________ ________, rest assured. But seriously, I HATE Thanksgiving from the depths of my being down to the pits of a turkey's gizzards and everything in this Blog Post __ ___ ________ ___ _____. It's NASTY! *NOTE*

  • Posted Nov 11, 2009 4:17 pm GMT
  • Category: Food
  • 6 Comments
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• 21Oct 09

  Androgynous Androgyny

  So that there's no confusion. I'm a boy/male/gentleman/man/lad/fellow/XY Chromosome bearing human being.

  Throughout my life I've gotten comments, whether observatory or derogatory, about my "soft" features.

  I've even been confused for a female before. Told by one individual that they could only ever think of me as a female.

  Okay.

  Now I'm in college. Off on my own. Been so for a while now. Nothing new. Now I'm experiencing a different side of what it means to look like me.

  People see my features and assume I'm homosexual. Well......that part isn't new. That started in 4th Grade.

  Even in Primary School, kids, specifically other boys, would ridicule me for my naturally curly eye lashes. They'd say I went home to curl them like a girl and what have you.

  I've gotten comments about my lips. About how pink they look. How red they look. How much they resemble a certain part of the female anatomy.

  I've been told I have girl hands. (Really? That's a new one)

  So now I'm getting hit on by boys........young men.........old men.......homeless men............

  Anonymously and in person.

  I've been accosted twice on the streets of my college campus by these older guys. Demanding I give them my number with their Cell Phone extended. Hovering around me as I pack up my vehicle to leave. Asking me about where I live. Complimenting about my eyes. Telling me I look like a super model. Asking if I'm coming back. Attempting to hop into my car to use a cigarette lighter that's not even there. Begging me to come back as I'm leaving. Still there when I get back. Leaning inside passenger side window of my car as I try to pull off.

  Asking me if I'm "interesting in being with a nigg@."

  I'm getting facebooked anonymously now by people from my college. They obviously know me. I have no idea who they are. They ask me questions.......compliment me........make statements........

  Of course I ignore. I don't want to be rude.......I don't want to give the wrong idea........

  I'm naive so my initial response to such compliments is to say, "thank you", and be done with it. It occurred to me that giving the circumstances, that might not be the best thing. So yeah......I ignore.......as a result......periodically through the years here, I get a check up from the select few individuals who are open about their status, don't care if I know, and continue to message me (in addition to the countless numbers who do so anonymously).

  Is ignoring them still leading them on? I don't know..........

  It's all rather interesting.......I don't lose sleep over any of this. I'm just trying to imagine how it's going to be once I'm officially out on my own in the real world. College is just a miniscule bubble society that's a lesser iteration of what is to come.

  Hope I'm ready.

  • Posted Oct 21, 2009 5:35 pm GMT
  • Category: Nature
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• 21Oct 09

  OWLCITY's "Fireflies" #1 On iTunes!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

  It's kind of surreal when you witness an unknown artist who has been way in the background for years just emerge out of nowhere and make it big.

  I never get use to it.

  So excited. And I'm wondering how long this has been because I don't check up on my iTunes Charts regularly but just so happen to check it today.

  Either way......good stuff!

  

  I mean, he beat out Miley Cyrus and bumped her frisky cheeks off the top.

  The Black Eyed Peas.....Britney Spears..........you name 'em, he beat 'em.

  Amazing.

  • Posted Oct 21, 2009 1:21 pm GMT
  • Category: Music
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