Well, the blogging has been fewer and further between due to an enormous workload. I've had a lot piled onto my plate as of late, and I'm steadily trying to chew through it all with barely a spare minute for other things. And yeah, that's my perverse way of twisting "I'm working my ass off" into "All I do is eat and sleep".

Ironically, all this proverbial munching has left me much thinner than is the norm. The bathroom scales informed me that I'm now even lighter than I was back when I did runway work, and that was that awful time when I had that burnout that left me waifishly thin solely from stress. I'm trying to look out for myself to ensure it doesn't repeat itself.

I'm also investing myself in caring for a very dear relative who's really having a hard time at the moment due to a sudden medical complication. I'm also helping with the physiotherapy. Dammit, I didn't expect to have a patient this early and this close to home. Geez, what happens if I end up being a doctor that gets way too emotionally attached? I have no idea. We'll get there. I'll do everything I can to help him get better again and try to stay positive.

Appreciate your relative good health, people. Run around, take in some air, see the sights , listen to your music, flex your fingers, wave hello , scream with your voice, laugh, physically help someone else, dance as if you can actually dance. You're not deluded if you're happy. Whatever you do don't park yourself on your ass eating fries. Appreciating the health of your body is seriously underrated. Sure there could be a lot of things that tell you you're not exactly fit right now, but don't fail to appreciate what you've got till it's gone.

On a whim I stole a solid 2 hour block from my schedule to go watch a movie with some friends. A great way to combat stress is to laugh, and normally I'm so irrepressibly happy and cheerful it's borderline inappropriate , but as of late it's not been as forthcoming. So I wheedled it out with a French farce: Moliere. Bit of an obscure film, and subtitled. But the promo posters just don't do it justice - they pitched it like some sort of frighteningly formulated Americanised romantic comedy of the type I carefully avoid. Instead it was hilarious and awkward and clever and warm. I found it really immersive. And true it had a romantic element but it was as beautiful as it was genuinely sad and human. I've rarely seen comedy blended with tragedy very effectively, but it nailed it. I highly recommend it. If only to see two Frenchmen run around imitating horses till you choke on your popcorn. It was a great film in itself, and going as a treat made it all the sweeter. Period dramas are great escapism, I've decided.

Cooler than Jack Sparrow.

If you're into something darker and a bit more contemporary, I saw another dark and gritty film on DVD, A Simple Plan. Three men find a dead body and a bag full of millions in a plane wreck in the snow. In a nutshell, it's all downhill from there. And I mean ALL downhill. There's absolutely zero redemption in the bleakness as the final credits roll. Very depressing fare, but a very taut, well-done movie. Trouble with this one for me is that I have this rascal of a habit of analysing film techniques in films, a pest I haven't been able to shake since it was drilled into me at high school. The thriller genre especially demands a whole heap of manipulative techniques and I sit there going "ooh, that was some clever editing", or "oh I see, the colours are a clue" or "that's gotta be some of the meanest use of vectors I've seen in ages". If I say it out loud my friends who went through that with me groan and FACEPALM if they noticed it too. We just can't watch movies normally anymore, it sucks. You just don't get as scared as you'd like to when you're analysing what the director's executing. At least at the end you appreciate if it was great work. The film successfully managed to make us feel uncomfortable. Recommended if you're into that sort of thing. And if you wonder - what would you do if you suddenly found millions of dollars lying around that belonged to a dead man, and no-one else knew of its whereabouts? Would you take it, or turn it in?

Well it's Mother's Day tomorrow. Don't just get her some cheesy feminine trinket or crap book like You Are Clairvoyant. Honestly, the clearance-stock-horror you see prancing in Mother's Day Sale catalogues. It's one big commercial ruckus. Give her a little of yourself, in time, in talent, in thought. Take some time out to think of a few things that you are grateful to her for or love about her, and if you are lucky enough to still have her, tell her. And never just confine it to the one calendar date.

And now, V shall come visit your blogs! Hooray! And I'll also reply.

Surprisingly often I find often myself more attached to the villains in a lot of TV shows, movies and games. And really awesome villains have some shades of grey to them. Constructing villains who are just pure evil solely for the sake of making a convenient dichotomy with a pure and wholesome hero is a pretty shallow and boring premise, methinks.

A friend and I were just discussing Looney Tunes the other day. Bit random, I know. But we agreed we invariably rooted for the bad guys, and probably hated those animations because (1) we hate slapstick and (2) the guys we actually liked kept getting flattened/blown up with dynamite/burned and beaten, only to somehow resurrect to suffer another day at the hands/paws/claws of some disgustingly cute thing like Tweety or Roadrunner and his repulsive meep-meeping. And I officially hate Bugs Bunny and his nasal twang. In fact I can't remember liking any of the "good guys". Despite the pretty face they seemed pretty cruel/sadistic.

Manipulative little swine!

In games the villains are also often pretty cool. And there are some "enemies" I just outright regret killing.

Goombas (Super Mario Bros)

On my second run through the Galaxy as Luigi, every time I saw one of these animated mushrooms squidgy-bounce up to me I melted and evaded him, unless I really had to thump him into oblivion. No, it's not ridiculous, I smashed them all the first time through with Mario, and then in mourning decided I would see how few I could kill the second time through. Proved an interesting challenge. Why must I massacre these things? They do hurt if they run into you but that's true of cars and you don't womp them for money. They're not even vaguely ugly. It's CUTE that they're angry, it's understandable that they dislike the random fat plumber wreaking havoc through the land just so he can make some silly princess happy. I am terribly fond of Goombas and have been since the NES. If only we could hold hands and be friends! Oh wait, no hands. Fine: if only we could be friends!

Zant (Legend of Zelda:Twilight Princess, Wii)

Zant was a squawking, incompetent freak. He danced around like a total pansy, and pirouetted like...who knows what that was. Poor wounded, little, usurper king who looked badass but was really a betrayed...oh, it's awful! And I stubbed his toe with my ball and chain of steel. Link, you are such a bully. Leave the kooky Japanes cosplay villain alone, Just because he's different and in need of a tan doesn't mean he should be persecuted.

Teeny Pokemon just out of Diapers (Pokemon, Gameboy)

There's no honour in smashing the living daylights out of a level 2 Pidgey with the level 73 mother-of-all-monsters that you personally reared and beefed up from day one, plus an entourage of death for back-up. I'm not actually terribly fond of turn based and being interrupted by random, spontaneous battles as I walk through the grass originally, but making me pick on someone a squillionth my size just makes the feeling more sour. BAM. It goes down on the first blow (with ten times as much force as necessary) and the game lamely says "It isn't very effective". Apparently the poor little baby only "fainted" Nintendo-euphemism-sty|e. But really, we know when we're being told a white lie. There's no more pixels where he used to stand. *cries*

Big Daddies (Bioshock, X360)

A moment of tenderness before a violent murder.

Whhhyyyyy, whhhyyyy did you make me kill the Big Daddies? Why did you have to pluck my heartstrings and CALL them Big Daddies? And use the power-up to make them turn on each other?

Please, wake up Mr Bubbles!

GLADOS (Portal, PC)

Atmospheric lighting, no?

My favourite enemy in my favourite game. Bit by bit. While she talks.

Agonising.

Any cool villains you personally thought were a shame to kill?

(Some of my other friends insist The Boss from Metal Gear Solid is worse. But I can't vouch for that as I haven't played that franchise yet myself).

***SPOILER***

After her novel The Gathering won last year's Booker Prize, Irish writer Anne Enright said, "When people pick up a book, they may want something to cheer them up. In that case, they shouldn't really pick up my book...My book is the intellectual equivalent of a Hollywood weepie." Reviewers have described the novel as "harrowing", "devastating", and (my favourites) "horribly skilfull" and exhibiting "exhilarating bleakness".

Sounds like fun.

I have read Enright's work and yes, it's brilliant. But I'd hesitate to recommend it. I'd like to champion the other side. The not so dark side, that doesn't have cookies.

I am writing in support of the chortle! The giggle! The guffaw! I know that guy laughs like a jackal, and has this really vicious eye twitch that kinda freaks me out, but let him!

When was the last time you finished a novel with your spirit absolutely soaring? Anyone? The last time a book made you read with a stupid grin and sore abs? Remember sitting on the train watching the person opposite chuckle as they turn the pages? Seriously, me neither.

More likely it was a charming cannibalising, child dismembering, man-castrating, forensic chop-shop thriller, or a torturous story of sacrifice and loss, losing love, struggling with injustice and grieving. And at least one character will die. More likely the person opposite was reading with a furrowed brow.

In the past few years we've come to understand that what you eat and drink will show up in the lovely form of love handles and choking arteries. We comprehend that junk food in excess plays its part in obesity. Without counteraction with exercise your body will suffer the consequences.

Less immediately obvious is the potential to make the same link with our minds. What we put into it - books, films, and yeah, blogs - does not leave our thinking unaffected if truly engaged with. How negative is my writing? How often do I write something with a smile? How often do I read something with a smile? It's something worth thinking about. Every day we lose good people who see the world as too hopeless, devastating and bleak to go on. A recommendation of a novel that speaks of betrayal, hate and suffering probably isn't the most tactful offering one could give them as a friend.

I'm not advocating literature full of happy-clappy sunshine bunnies, where bluebirds and rainbows guide friends into each other's arms, and cheery characters dance in the streets in picturesque 1950s gee-whiz endings. That fake, fixed-grin type of story lacks the heart and sincerity a truly good story has, and is more likely to induce book-tossing rage and boredom than a warm afterglow.

But equally, the world is not just a collection of tragedies. There is beauty here too, and humour, and silliness, and fun and not a small amount of love.

Nobel-prize-winning author Andre Gide asked, "What would there be in a story of happiness? Only what prepares, only what destroys it can be told." Tell that to Shakespeare, Zadie Smith, DBC Pierre and other damn rare and funny buggers. A story of happiness is Much ado About Nothing. Cannot Nothing have its place, have its right to make us smile? For every Othello or Macbeth, let there be A Midsummer Night's Dream and Much Ado About Nothing.

Truth is, a happy story takes real skill to write. It's an easy cop-out to kill your protagonists, it's easy to make them suffer. It can be done with skilful, praise-worthy sty|e but it's even harder to warm your reader's heart.

I recently had two pieces of writing short listed in a project, one happy, one tragic. It was judged by a panel of published writers, and they gave me their critique. They all grinned at the first title. "Young lady, this writing had a beautiful smile, you made our Monday morning." But it was the second, a brutal rollercoaster of misfortune that took the win, because, it "left us feeling mercilessly manipulated." Basically, "congratulations on excellent sadism". (But in truth, the happy was more demanding. I left thinking - "My gosh! It made that whole panel smile on a Monday morning! How does that happen?").

Are authors afraid? Afraid of writing a joke no-one will laugh at, when they can so easily write about pain we can all relate to? Is a depressing read a well-written read because it succeeded in making you depressed? Are we envisioning the world we'd like to live in? Why is a silly and fun comic book considered too crass beside a morbid graphic novel? Is the frown valued more than the laugh?

I defend the odd literary giggle. Dark and gloomy books are all well and good but wouldn't a humorous and happy read be novel?

Heh, lame puns rule.

Happy reading to you!

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This is an editorial for the Monkeys Writing Shakespeare. But seeing as there's no Soapbox category I can't mark this Editorial. *eye twitch*. Ah well, check out the monkeys. They're some cool kids.

The Ten Things I Envy of Link can be found here

10) He has to read what everyone says

In a world without voice acting, Link is doomed to read everyone's spiels frame by frame (and font size and text colour actually matter!). Doomed am I to mash the A-button through Ganon's typed gloating so we can HURRY UP AND FIGHT ALREADY. Sure, he elicits the odd evil chuckle, but everything else just sort of hovers in the ether for your reading pleasure. Though I guess here on GS we have to mostly read what everyone says as well...

9) He screams- no, fights- no, LOOKS like a girl

Yes, he has guns, he is strong, he projects the odd manly yell when dispatching an enemy, but really, when all is said and done: it is very easy to confuse him with Agyness Deyn. And when he's a little boy, well, he just looks like a petite, androgynous fairy.

I'll be the last to in any way disparage my lovely gender, and Manga-sty|e accounted for, I'll cut his Pantene-perfect hair and goo-goo eyes some slack. But like I said, I do not exactly envy him. One steps out lookin' that fine for a soirée, not for a battle with Chu Jelly.

8 ) He doesn't stop to appreciate a full square meal

Out of curiosity, why are meals considered square? Well Link wouldn't know either. He has a virtual eating disorder. Even partaking of Yeti's Soup is a 0.3 nanosecond affair - solely to up the health. He's eternally smashing pumpkins for Rupees, like he's angry at the world of calories. Seriously, man, the pumpkins are not the enemy, just chill and enjoy a hot, home-cooked meal.

7) He's reliant of performance enhancing drugs

It seems Link runs on empty, on pure adrenaline. And when that gives out, he's always got the reassurance that renewed health is a bottle away.

See Link there's this thing called sleep, and this thing called eating...

Oh, and this is probably the first time I've met a parrot drug-pusher who trades in Rupees, but hey, we all encounter new things each day.

6) His natural state is: Outnumbered

And when it's not the endless barrage of enemies, it's them damn kids pouncing in groups of three asking Link to show off the new slingshot! C'mon kids, let's give him some space m'kay?

5) He is condemned to wear the ugliest hat, all in the name of honour

Well as I mentioned last time the hero's garb has its perks, but it looks terribly dorky. That hat, my god, darling are you sure that's not a wind sock?

4) He has an eternal bossy companion that insists on nagging him

For the most part, the fairy is very important and helpful. But there are times...*strangling motion* (Mr Smith reference). Navi, knowledgeable as she was, used to explain concepts right in the heat of battle, and Midna took it to a whole new level by literally becoming his shadow, stopping me mid-stride on my way to somewhere important to make some sort of pointless comment. They stalk him from generation to generation, game after game. Also all sorts of weird sexual tension going on which is simply irritating for a female gamer, and probably rather annoying for Link. Ooooooh, Link I have a crush on yooooooou.

3) His life actually has game overs

He always has a violent death. He actually has to DIE when he stuffs up, and die somewhere dangerous all alone for the Tektites to pick his bones clean. Then he's forced back to life on a gamer's whim and must face again the last evil thing that sent him to his grave. I think the one time I died in Twilight Princess was falling off the chain of swinging cutesy monkeys (who followed me all through the damn temple) into an abyss. Reality-check: why am I hanging off the ceiling outside the boss's lair, on a chain of monkeys?

2) He must suffer the pain wrought by ergonomically unsound equipment

Your whole weight supported by one arm straining off the ceiling with a chain? Constantly spinning round and round and round along walls on the Spinner? Throwing yourself into force fields a looong way down with a pair of iron boots and no harness? Staggering awakwardly upside down along the ceiling in iron boots for several minutes? That'd be more tiring than wading, not to mention a whole heap of blood to the head.

I'm still confused as to how he doesn't break his back/sever all his nerves and quarter Zelda when performing the Spin Attack on horseback in the final fight. Yowch.

1) There will be no happy ending!

Nay, sir, you are doomed to rehash the adventure over and over and over, console after console, with the same guy with funny-coloured skin who just won't give up, merely for our entertainment. You will save Hyrule, but only for a while, and you will never really get the girl (I mean really, after all this rigmarole you'd have thought we'd have moved on a bit by now). Mwahaha...the futility of walking the Mobius strip!

Competitive video gamers prepare for battle - a worldwide video game tournament is to be included in the upcoming Beijing Olympics. The Digital Games have been recognised as an official "welcome event".

It's the brainchild of media giant Global Gamer's League, and if you're a potential competitor you should head over to their website to build a player profile while qualifying tournaments are happening in several genres - FPS, sports games, action adventures, even puzzlers.

Top players face off in the August grand finals in Shanghai.

Hooray for e-sport!

A few things:

(1) I'm back to normal. Like, totally.

(2) PM glitches! Nothing brightens a person's day like glitches that block communication! Fun fun fun!

(3) Went to the zoo, got licked by a giant blue tongue while feeding leaves to the giraffes. My, my, are they awkard-looking animals. I also held a snake for the first time. Huge, heavy, writhing piece of pure muscle. They are freaky. Also, koalas are cute and all, but man do they stink of eucalyptus. My god, the power of that stench. I swear that enclosure is for the stench alone. Those sleepyheads aren't running anywhere particularly fast! Oh yes, why did I got to the zoo? Random mood. Nostalgia for childhood. Something weird like that. Because I've always liked the book Life of Pi. I think later I'll go to a theme park. It's been a while.

(4) Into the quarter-finals of the universities debating competition. We're yet to encounter any really stiff competition, so I be hungry to get into the thick of it. FEE FI FO FUM!

(5) I'm learning to write short blogs! See, see? Actually it's just because I'm tired and I needed to be merciful and stop burning my soul with a confronting spiel of valley-girl speak everytime I logged on. But this bulleting worked quite well.

I will back into proper, quality blogs again soon, but everyone has one of those days where it just doesn't matter a damn. This is one of those days...

Have such a day yourself, I recommend it.

Take care all.