Life is like an RPG. Your college years are not unlike the character creation process in your average role-playing game. You've got a lot of decisions to make when creating your avatar. Will he or she specialize in weapons or magic? Will he be able to use two-handed weapons? What about magic resistance and armor class? The decisions made during this creation process will affect the player the rest of the game.

Similarly, the decisions you make in college will affect you the rest of your life. What major will you choose? What specific courses in that major will you take? Will you join any clubs? How about an internship? There's no way to future proof yourself, but with careful planning, you could create a professional with the skill set needed to succeed in the career field of your choice.

If you're an RPG player, you've surely felt regret at least once. Maybe it's an inaccessible door, a character you can't interact with, or a skill that you should have put more experience points in. Whatever it is, there's always something down the road that makes you think, "I should have gone with a different skill." For example, I started Oblivion as a dark elf specializing as a warrior. A couple of hours in, I was exposed to my first spell and quickly realized that magic was where it was at. Unfortunately, as a warrior certain spells and abilities weren't open to me, so I dumped experience points in to the spells that I could have and played the role of a warrior/mage hybrid. Hours later I reached a roadblock. My warrior wasn't strong enough to hold his own with the warrior guild, and his magic abilities were nothing compared to those in the mage guild. I was a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none.

So here I am, unemployed, sitting at my parents' house, waiting on an employer to hire me, and I'm wondering if I leveled up in the right skills. Should I have taken that broadcast news writing cIass in college? No, I should have dumped some experience points into a graphic design **** Was it a good idea to go to grad school? I thought it was, but now I'm starting to think my extra degree hurts me more than it helps me (I'm not qualified for a management position, but I'm over qualified for an entry level position). I've done a lot of different things in the past two years, but have I mastered or specialized in anything specifically? I think so...I hope so.

I've recently realized that working in the game industry is what I want to do. When I say recently realized, I don't mean that it just struck me, but that it has always been there and I've just recently realized it. I've wanted to write about games since I could grip a controller, but it was always something that I thought would never happen for me. I read game magazines like EGM and Next Generation, and visited videogames.com (now GameSpot) all the time. I knew video games were different for me. I had a passion for them that could not be extinguished. Still, I muffled that flame for years because I felt that it couldn't happen for me. I didn't live in the right area, I didn't have the right skills, it just wasn't in the cards for me.

Then I got to college and realized that I liked to write. I got a journalism degree and told everyone that I wanted to work in magazines. The truth was, and I didn't tell anyone this, that I was hoping to find a job at a magazine and somehow weasel my way into game journalism. While working with TC I insisted on doing the entertainment section, which included video games, hoping that it would give me some much needed experience. My plan was coming together, but I had to admit I was a little worried. This isn't a single player game. I've got a partner in all this and the decisions I make will affect her too. I needed to let her in on my plan. So I did, and she was quite receptive. She knew a career in game journalism would make me happy, so she encouraged me to chase after it.

By now, I was finished with grad school and working with TC. I knew I only had a year left of employment and that I would have to start looking for jobs soon. I was reluctant to look in the game industry, still haunted by my "this will never happen" thoughts from childhood. Then I came across this quote on my Google homepage.

"All of our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."--Walt Disney

As corny as it sounds, this quote struck a chord with me. I forgot all about courage. By dumping enough points into courage, I could offset some of my other skill deficiencies. I've got a great, diverse resume, surely I can take on anything a job in game journalism could throw at me. So I started searching for jobs, and after weeks of pestering the folks here at GameSpot, I got some freelance work. This was a major victory for me of course. Getting paid to write reviews for GS was a dream come true. I'm thankful for the work they've given me, and I hope they keep it coming (I'm working on the review for Code Lyoko Fall of Xana right now, so expect to see that soon).

So I got my foot in the door, well maybe not my foot, more like a toe, but it's in. My lifelong dream is almost within reach, I just need a little assistance to grab it.

That brings us back to the leveling up analogy. I'm unemployed, looking for work and I'm not sure what to do. I could follow my original plan and find a job in magazines and hope that it will eventually lead to game journalism, or I can go after my dream now. Both plans have their pros and cons; I won't bore you by listing those. I have to choose one though; I can't ride the fence here. I've got to dump my experience points in the right skills, and hope that down the road I don't end up regretting my decision.

I've applied everywhere, from Bioware to here at Gamespot, and I haven't heard anything from anyone (except a polite rejection letter from Harmonix). Searching for a job out of state is tough. The Today Show had a report on unemployment a month or so ago and they said that Arkansas ranks in the top three states as the worst place to be searching for a job. I'm willing to get up and move to San Francisco, Austin, Minneapolis, Boston, Santa Monica, anywhere! All my stuff is packed in a storage shed; I can go at any moment. I just need someone to give me a chance. I've got the courage to pursue my dream, I just need someone to recognize that.

So I'll continue to sit here at my parents house, applying for every game job possible. I still apply to magazine jobs, just in case, but I'd rather get into the industry sooner than later. In the meantime, I'll keep doing all the freelance work I can get. Each review helps my resume a little bit more.

And that's what's going on with me. I've been away from GS because of the move; so sorry I missed your blogs. I'll try to start posting regularly again, but I can't lie and say I'll be here as much as I used to be. Being unemployed, I feel a certain twinge of guilt using my time to write blogs when I should be job hunting. Still, there's only so much I can do, the rest is in the employer's hands. So cross your fingers and say your prayers folks, here's hoping I find something soon.

Last night Brooke and I drove an hour to Little Rock to see Wall-E. We have a theater here in our town, but it's terrible. Gas prices usually keep us in town, but when there's a movie we really want to see, we drive to the Rave, the biggest and nicest theater in Arkansas.

The theater was packed when we got there so we had to sit in the very last row at the top near the corner. There are three types of people that go to Pixar movies. There are children, accompanied by their parent some of which are happy to be there, others are not. There are adults, like my wife and I, that love Pixar. We look at their movies as more than cartoon flicks for kids, but as technically dazzling, heart warming stories for people of all ages. And then there are the stuck ups. These people can be teens who think they're too old for "kids" movies, or adults grudgingly accompanying a friend's child, either way they don't want to be there, and they don't want to see this movie. Interestingly all three groups leave with the same satisfied feeling, it is Pixar after all.

Anyways, we had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting next to some stuck ups. These three degenerate teens, too cool for school and Pixar movies, schlupped in during the previews and sat down next to us. One of them, a scarecrow in baggy clothes with wiry hair and a nose like a beak, folded into his chair next to my wife and produced an empty Gatorade bottle.

It was during the quiet moment before a preview, when the audience is bathed in green anticipation, that we heard the first squrit-plunk. Brooke's eyes went wide. She leaned towards me and whispered through clenched teeth, "OMG, he is spitting in that bottle!"

I leaned forward, peered around my wife and caught a glimpse of the scarecrow. He was talking with his friends loudly, his cheek bulging with tobacco. He paused mid-sentence, pursed his lips around the bottle and deposited some brown sludge. He swished the bottle, it made a slurping sound, and I turned green--the preview was over.

"We have got to get out of here," I said, referring both to our seats and Arkansas as a whole. We raised ourselves in our chairs and scanned the auditorium for two open spots, but it was too dark and the theater was full. We were stuck with slurpy.

Brooke leaned toward me in an effort to distance herself from the disgusting nicotine addict to her left. He continued to chew and spit for the first twenty minutes of the movie at which point he finally ran out of slime. Hooray for Arkansas.

Thankfully, the nasty habit of our fellow movie patron didn't stop us from enjoying the show. Wall-E is another amazing movie in the spotless Pixar film library. The visuals are stunning, and the story is compelling. Simply put, Wall-E is a masterpiece. The emotion Pixar has managed to wrench out of these faceless nearly voiceless machines is unbelievable. I can't remember the last time I left a theater with such an emmense feeling of satisfaction and graditude. Pixar has given us a cinematic gift in the form of a curious little robot.

Go see this movie, it's impossible to not like it.

Twenty-four years ago I came into the world, so today we did a bit of celebrating. While I didn't get what I really wanted (a job), I did get a few nice things.

Two books that I've been wanting for a while: Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman, and Lucky Wander Boy by D.B. Weiss. I actually got Lucky Wander Boy a couple of days ago, it was in the bargain bin at the local bookstore for two bucks and I recognized it from a recent Game Informer, so I picked it up. It's actually quite entertaining. The blurb on the front makes the book worth buying alone: "...D.B. Weiss does for video games what Michael Chabon did for comics." Sold!

I bought Burnout Paradise from Gamefly for only $18! They were having a huge summer sale, so I used the $25 my mother-in-law gave me to purchase that, and Mega Man Powered Up. I already got my A license when I rented Burnout, but as a recovering Burnout junky, I couldn't help myself. Plus I'm really interested to see the motorcycle update.

My parents gave me a giant orange cupcake with a tiny Michelangelo on it, some cash money, and a gift card to Applebee's. They told me to go on a date with my wife and relax. I think we'll go to Little Rock and see Wall-E on Friday. I love me some Pixar man.

I went in to my office to deliver some corrections on the children's book I'm still under contract to finish and they had a cake for me, which was really nice of them.

My older brother and his wife got me the fifth season of Scrubs. I have the first four, but I haven't bought one in a while, so it was nice of him to help jump start my collection again.

My younger brother and his wife are kind of strapped for cash, which I understand, so they gave me their time. I can always count on my little brother to help out when it comes to moving. Being a servant to others is kind of his thing, he'll help out his greatest enemy if he needs it. So he and my older bro came over and helped move some more of my big furniture out of the house and in to the storage shed while his wife helped Brooke pack up the dishes.

Finally, I got another game to review for Gamespot (thanks go out to Justin. I know I say this to you a lot, but I really appreciate it man). If you haven't already, check out my reviews for Cocoto: Fishing Master and Block Breaker Deluxe. I'm currently working on Ticket To Ride, a pleasant little board game on XBLA that's more fun than I thought it would be. I'm going to play a little tonight if anyone out there owns it and wants to get online.

That's about it. It hasn't been the most exciting birthday, but I've felt the love and appreciation from those around me, and there isn't much more I could ask for.

I'm really going to start trying to reply to your comments on my blog. Why come here and leave a comment if I'm not going to say anything back? Have some patience with me though, I'm trying... Also, it's nice to have Jim back. I only got a couple paragraphs into your mammoth returning blog before I had to go so sorry I didn't comment. Go Obama!

Warning, this blog is pure ventilation.

Up until two weeks ago I worked for TC Magazine. While TC stands for Teenage Christian, the message of the magazine is not exclusive to Christianity. The purpose of the magazine is to be a positive and encouraging publication for teens. I've been on the staff since it started over two years ago.

The old Teenage Christian had been run into the ground, but my boss was convinced that it could be resurrected, so he bought the rights (for one dollar!) and roped up some wide eyed college kids to rebrand and redesign the magazine for a new generation. At first, the staff consisted of one full time person and five or six college students, myself included. When we graduated, the full time person moved on a gave her duties of managing editor to the person currently in the position, my friend Laura.

Since the magazine is partly financed by the university, the higher ups wouldn't allow another full time employee until the mag proved itself. So while I was in grad school, I worked as a graduate assistant with the title of senior editor. Laura and I, and a handful of interns pushed the magazine to new heights, snagging covers with Relient K and Corbin Bleu (from high school musical). By the end of its first full year, the magazine had grown from zero subscriptions to more than 5,000. We had readers in all 50 states and three countries--all that from word of mouth and youth group subscriptions.

My boss was able to work out a deal with the university big wigs to get me a job. The deal was that I would teach a few speech cIasses for the communication department, and then spend the rest of my time as a full time editor (I ended up getting far more responsibility than that, but it was a job). The contract was signed for a year, and I got to work.

During that year I did a lot for TC. I made new contacts, wrote some great pieces, and learned a lot about the magazine business. One of my biggest goals was to get TC sold in stores. Locally, that was easy. We simply walked in to local book stores, signed some contracts, and supplied them with magazines. It was cool to see my work on local shelves, but we wanted national exposure. At nearly 6,000 subscribers, we felt like we had hit the cap for word of mouth growth. We needed shelf space. So we worked with suppliers and got a few rejection letters. Last week after I left, Laura sent a press kit to Ingram, a supplier of Mardel Christian book stores and Barnes & Noble book stores.

Today, Laura called me and told me that Ingram sent a contract to sell TC in all of its stores for the next four years. That means TC will be available in Barnes & Noble's all over the country for at least the next four years! On one hand I'm ecstatic, all my hard work finally paid off, but on the other hand I'm really sad that I'm no longer a part of the publication. It's like a pat on the back, and a punch to the gut. Well, technically I'm still a contributing editor and I'll be doing freelance work for TC, but it's not the same.

In addition to the new retail deal, TC is also launching a brand new, totally awesome website this summer. This thing will have blogs, forum, all kinds of awesome features, and more. I'll be contributing to that as well. Also, this fall the cover story will be an interview with Switchfoot, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Third Day, and Jars of Clay.

I know what you're thinking, "Why on earth did you leave?" I had no choice. My contract was only for a year. They can keep me on as contributing editor, but they can't afford to keep me full-time. Plus, I'm kind of done living in such a small town (population 20,000). Still...what a shame...

Justin was nice enough to give me some work during my transition period, so I'm currently playing a couple of Wiiware titles for GS. The full reviews for Cocoto: Fishing Master and Block Breaker Deluxe should be up early this week, but for now I thought I'd give you some quick impressions, courtesy of my wife.

Brooke is a casual gamer, and when the mood hits her, she'll plop down and play a game for hours (she's just coming off a vicious LocoRoco addiction). As I was finishing my Cocoto review last night she decided to give the game a try. While she played she spit out a few choice one-liners that I quickly recorded. Hearing her comments was helpful. Sometimes I fear my years of gaming experience make me judge some casual games too harshly. So it's nice to hear what a casual gamer thinks of a game aimed at her.

In response to the unforgiving controls:
"I've tried everything. There's seriously no rhyme or reason...I'm not kidding."

In response to losing yet another fish to the rigid controls.
"That. Makes. Me. Angry! I'm going to get you now!"

Her thoughts on the graphics:
"The fish kind of remind me of Psychonauts. But I liked Psychonauts better."

Her overall impression of the game:
"It makes you not want to play it, but it has so much potential to be really fun."

I spent a couple hours crafting my review and she managed to sum it up in just a few comments. She hasn't had a chance to play much of Block Breaker Deluxe yet, but if she gets around to it before the review goes up I'll let you know what she thinks. Other than the two Wiiware games, I haven't had time for much else. I managed to get 100% completion on Lego Indiana Jones, even after I complained to my brother about how time consuming such an endeavor would be. Zoning out in front of the screen and collecting Lego treasures was really nice amidst all my stress. If you haven't played Lego Indy, I recommend giving it a try. Other than some irritating platform sequences, the game is a delight.

Our house is nearly packed, and if something doesn't happen this week, we'll be moving in with my parents down the street...Not too excited about that, but they have a large house, in-ground pool, charge no rent, and they'll be out of town most of the month of July (and I plan on being employed before then). Moving in with them is more a pride issue than anything else, because financially, it makes a lot of sense to stay with them for a while. The only bills we'll have are student loans (arrgh!!!), cell phones, and car insurance. Without rent, electric, cable, internet, and other assorted home living bills, we'll be able to save some cash, just in case we need to launch Plan C--picking up and moving to a city and finding a job there.

I have a new Soapbox entry in the works, a new chapter of Stranger Things, and some banner options for a nice lady I know around these parts. I'll be updating soon so stay tuned.

Today is the first day that I am officially unemployed, though I'm still making money.

This morning, I got up and took Brooke to her job (side note: she took a three week job as a photographer for a youth camp the university hosts. She did a few years ago and they needed someone, so they called her, knowing she just left her official desk job. It's good money, and it's low stress, so we're happy), then I came home, did some laundry, and started working on some pictures. I set a up work station in our guest bedroom and it's kind of nice. The temperature is just right, and I can have the TV on in the background. Nothing like doodling a children's book while Maury Povitch throws down on teenage delinquents.

So after the pictures I did a bit of job hunting, and sent a few follow-up emails to previous applications. Satisfied with my efforts on the job front, I took a break and played a little Lego Indiana Jones. There are a lot of little thing about that game that make me like it a whole lot more than the Lego Star Wars games, one of those things being that it's not Star Wars.

I finished The Last Crusade, did some more laundry, and went for a run in the sweltering Arkansas heat. When I got done with the run and the much needed shower, I did a little more job searching, and now I'm writing this blog before Brooke comes home and we start packing up the office area.

Not bad huh? I promise I won't be blogging every worthless activity I do for the remainder of my unemployment, but I needed to today. There's nothing I hate more than feeling unproductive, and not having a job can make you feel that way easily. I guess this blog entry is more for me than for you. Call it a reassurance entry.

I did say in my last post that I would bring some pictures of the children's book. Here are four pages (each picture is actually two pages). These haven't been corrected yet, so please forgive any strange abnormalities.

If you like these, you'll like the rest of the book. In addition to the giraffe and lemur, there's also a parrot and a lion. There might be some more characters down the road; my boss has talked about doing an ebook with different characters. I also received the new and improved stuffed animal version of Ned. He looks absolutely perfect. I took some pictures but i don't have them uploaded yet. I'll post them eventually. I really need to meet with a trademark lawyer...Books, ebooks, stuffed animals, stickers, my boss has even sent it in to some people to see about a cartoon (we have connections with the people that created the Nickelodeon cartoon Doug, remember that?). I need to make sure I get paid for all this!

As for other creative updates, I haven't completely abandoned Stranger Things. I've actually written quite a bit more than I have posted on the website, but I'm not sure what I want to do. A lot of the game writer jobs I wanted to apply for require you to have a published work of fiction. Based on the early response from friends and family, Stranger Things might be a good story to try and get published. Unfortunately, it would be a tough sell to get a publisher to print my book when it is all online for free. So, I might post another chapter or two and leave it as a part one teaser. Any feedback on that situation would be appreciated.

Well, I gotta go start packing. Hope everyone out there is having a great Monday!