...

Ahh, 32. You were an interesting year. Love and self lost and found, games played, new states traveled.

New drinks drank, too

I guess you can say this is my year in review.

32 was a year of great anguish personally, but also of great growth and garnered strength. Over the last year I got to watch me stand up for myself both personally and professionally. I really "grew a pair" in all aspects of my life, which was refreshing to realize. When I look back, I really see this as the year things changed in a big way.

And not just personally, but gaming as well. I had devoted so much energy to things that were not productive before that I didn't really have enough emotional energy to game (I hate losing so often if I'm stressed, I just won't bother trying something new until I have some energy).

I realized how much my life correlates with gaming. Heck, I've been gaming since I was 7, which now would be 26 years ago. Gaming has been a big part of my life and is a lot like my dining room table or fingernails: you can take one look at how it's organized, finished, polished or straightened and know instantly my personal state of affairs.

My road to gaming recovery began with Terraria and really took off with Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Both were recommended to me by my Steam friends and did not disappoint. In days where I could barely function, I would sit my gaming laptop in the livingroom and dig dig dig until I found peace. Then came DE:HR, and I found myself truly enjoying gaming again. I hadn't really ever gotten into stealth because it tenses me up,  but this game is a true masterpiece and hooked me on the presentation, story and especially the fun and addictive gameplay. It got me through the worst part of my personal issues and helped me find what I had been missing for the last 4 years or so.

I got to take my gaming around the west, from Portland to Reno to Modesto to Salt Lake City. It kept me company and gave me new friends (thanks to you who stuck with me over my "issues" and gamed with me and gave me something to smile about). I got a little of my competitive edge back, which feels nice. I used to be the person to contend with on Perfect Dark for the N64. I wasn't tournament-worthy, I was the one that friends would find other friends to pit against while we had an event and they all watched. Good times But for years, I hadn't been able to compete because losing made ME feel like a loser, and a lot of the fun and thrill was lost due to stress and anxiety in other areas in my life.

One game I've been slowly getting into is Battlefield 3. I get to play with a great friend from here and he's coaching me and it's a blast. I've never really played a more realistic shooter, and definitely not online, so it has been a rather harsh learning curve. I've only played 2 separate 90-minute sessions, but was pleased to end 5th out of 22, albeit on the losing team but I'll take the victory!

Otherwise, other notable games of this year included Battlefield: Bad Company 2 single-player campaign which was fun start to finish; Minecraft, which I have a blast on my friend's server, he's always doing nice things for me there (and in real life, thanks, you know who you are!) and is a total fun person to hang with; The Longest Journey, which I will finish someday, even though it is a bit long but hey no false advertising there; Borderlands and Borderlands 2, I haven't had that much fun with co-op in a while and got to know people through both games and shared much, much laughter.

I also started getting back into a bit of console gaming with Halo 4, which has been super fun to play with my buddy 2 blocks down, the one who came over and shared some of that Apple Pie (pictured above) and played with me yesterday, my last day at 32. Alcohol be damned, I have been getting a lot better at it and am starting to have more fun.

I hope your gaming year has treated you well. Here's to a fresh start with 33!

-zyxe